Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Snake in the grass


My suspicions was proven right. My old bosses are maneuvering behind my back. They scheduled a lunch meeting with the boss man and another supplier. The old snake has struck. I think he will try to entice the boss man in outsourcing the project to his preferred supplier instead of the old outfit where the snake man no longer has influence.

I had mistakenly thought that the boss man will remain loyal to me and the old outfit. But god knows what sort of lies the snake and his associates have spread about me and the old outfit. Many possibilities come to mind. For instance, I will be retrenched soon or I am corrupt and earned some kickbacks in some outsource contracts or the outfit is closing soon and work will move to India.

But my recent performance is not helping much. I am just starting to get back into my groove and a few good reviews. I just need to be consistent. Admittedly the outfit is having some trouble with some recent turnover of staff. The remaining resources for the project is inexperienced. I am trying to get some external resources to help the internal team. At least it wont be the snake man's resources.

Hopefully, the boss man will see through the maneuvering of the snake man. But he is a hard business man and will go to the person who can deliver the goods Even to the snake man. So I think I have to make the case that the old outfit can do the better job at reasonable cost. I think that I have to speak to him frankly in the morning.

I think I am second guessing myself that I am unable to respond in the proper way. For instance, I think the snake man and his associates are talking behind my back because they know something about me that I don't know like I am in the list of people about to be retrenched. This is the reason my paranoid mind think why these fools have the confidence of doing these back room dealings. But I am just sinking into self pity and playing the victim or martyr.

This is not true and I should fight back. My mind is so open that I prepare for anything and everything. In other words, I think to much. I made a map of all the possible options or plan of actions I will undertake in case I lose my job, transferred abroad as an expatriate, returned to my homeland, etc. In the end, nothing will happen after all.

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