I still cannot write my novel but I now know why. Instead I blog to keep practicing my skill in writing and self expression. Still not enough to be a novelist. I just finished reading the book 'Write' and I plan to use the tools and tricks like letting my left and write brain communicate with each other. A strange theory but maybe worth trying. Lately, the books that I have been reading is not about the art of writing but more on the psychological side. This maybe more important than the craft of writing. If one has a good 'sense of self' or 'mature psychology' then mastering the craft of writing is easier.
My flight to China is at 8am tomorrow. I am reading an old National Geographic issue which features China. A good and easy way to keep in touch of developments in the country. It's really a modern country now like Singapore and no longer a communist state. I watched the film version of Ernest Hemingway's 'The Sun Also Rises.' I think it is a good adaptation of the book. By it's own merits, I think it is a classic film with good performances by Tyrone Power, Ava Gardner and Errol Flynn. It captures the mood of Paris, France and Pamplona, Spain in a distinctive era after World War I.
I am starting to feel a slight regret about my mail sent out last Thursday asking about the overseas offer. It shows that I think too much - a person who worries too much. This is a bad habit of mine to always regret something that I have done despite devoting some thought on the act. I hope to get a reply next week when I am in China. It will be an interesting time next week with out the business project leader. It's a pity that she could not go. It will be much colder and I think me and my colleague will have a fun though challenging time.
I believe that the act of maturity is to think less. I always feel nervous when faced with people who are more relaxed and in control of their temperament. My difficulty or perceived difficulty in life is my emotional nature. This is what is actually preventing me from being a novelist. My right brain is too active and I should let my left brain provide more control. The book provides some interesting tools like meditation, yoga and other such tricks to allow me to control my right brain emotions and let my left brain take charge. This will prevent me from taking the flight approach (instead of the fight or write approach). Perhaps I persist in focusing on my right emotional brain by doing things like blogging and letting my emotions run wild. But it is also by journal writing that I keep control of my temperament by writing it all out.
Strange that I now have this perspective of analysing my left and right brain and it's in relation to my progress as a novelist. First it was the focus on my relationships and immersions into creativity. Now it is the left and right brain, inner dialogue and the writing process as a project. A lot of theories to help me understand the work that needs to be done. But I realize all these are helpful and I hope to internalize it and when I do, I think it will be an effortless activity. It is like any other skill that I try to acquire this year like playing the guitar, roller-blading and public speaking.