At the airport at 7am

I am waiting for my flight which will be boarding soon. Last night my sister was at my home. She is here on business and will be departing tomorrow. I invited my cousin over for dinner. We had chili crabs, stingray, chicken, almond cake and chocolate Rocco cake. I had brandy before dinner and made me less sociable. I did not have enough time to talk to my guests because I was thinking about my trip. I was in a rush to complete many things before my departure.

I rushed to read my books so I can return them to the library, watched 2 DVD movies, went roller blading and swimming in the afternoon. In consequence, I was not able to go to mass because I went to the library to borrow my next set of books. So when my guests arrived I was a bit tired from all these rush of things. I realize that pressure and stress sometime come from your own self. It is this perceived idea that I keep on doing this things. Setting an imaginary goal to achieve by reading many books and watching movies and exercising. To keep me up to date.

In fact I was doing 2 things at the same time. Watching DVD movies while blogging and mind mapping. I did not provide quality time in watching the movies. Both were good movies and I did not have the proper attention. Instead it was divided to my other activities. Why did I borrow these films when I knew I would not be able to watch them with proper attention? I felt like being a glutton which is a sin in the old days. I just wanted to feel the achievement of having borrowed these notable films and being able to say I watched them even though from the periphery.

It's all internally set goals that prevent me on focusing on my true priorities. For example, my priority yesterday should have been with my sister who was here on a visit. I should have shown the proper respect and attention. To talk about how things where back home. But instead my mind was filled with many trivial thoughts and goals. This is really my problem. I seem to lose the correct perspective on things and insist on my own point of view. I should take my attention away from books and look at the real situation on hand.

In China, based on the article I read yesterday, students get elected in their school elections if they show self criticism. I think that is a good way to do self reflection. I guess blogging and talking about myself in this way helps to reflect about my problems. Self-criticism I think had it's roots in Mao's communist movement. I think it's the only way to manage a huge country by asking it's citizens to reflect on their personal flaws. To know thyself is the first step as mentioned by the Greeks and the Chinese 'Art of War'. I guess that is also the goal on why I write here. To better myself.