Thursday, August 7, 2008

Mistaken Boredom

I see my mind wander these days when I try to complete some project task. I soon realize it is really boredom. Sometimes I feel that I am not fully skilled to work on the project management tool to plan my projects. But in fact I mistake a perceived lack of skill and enthusiasm to boredom and disinterest. During the last few meetings with top management, a remark was made our top honcho to think deeply about our motivation and drive. The recent re-organization and transformation may have sapped the one's remaining interests in work. As one of the document's state that people will leave the company due to the drive towards operational excellence.

So I always blamed the background noise of outsourcing and re-organization as the reason behind my lack of focus and commitment sometimes. But I realize my emotion as what it really is: perhaps boredom of working on my job. I have become a salary man just waiting for my pay at the end of the month. Yesterday, we oriented the young outsource team from India. We explained all the systems that was developed and deployed for about 10 plus years. It was like I was seeing a flashback of my life because I have worked on these projects in one capacity or another in the past. It seemed that my career was dieing as I prepared to turnover all my work to another.

I had dinner with an old friend last night. He used to worked with us but moved to another company. We compared notes and experience and realize that both companies have different perspectives. One focused more on the technical skills while the other focused on the interpersonal development and alignment. One was more process and machine-like while the other was more humane and personnel development. We guessed that it was due to the nature of the business where one earned about 10% gross margin while the other about 60% margin. So this fundamental different provided the different perspectives.

I will be on leave for a week and hope to do some soul searching and relaxation. I need to rest and relax and enjoy myself. Hopefully I can write my book, play some golf, apply for immigration to Australia or Canada, determine my strengths and work on my resume. I have not had a decent rest since the start of the year. So I hope to catch up of some of the things that I enjoy and watch some movies as well. Seems to be hectic but actually a good way to relax and kickback.

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