Friday, August 29, 2008

Meeting with new CIO

The meeting with the CIO went well this morning. My portion was quite small and I spoke only for a few minutes. It was a good meeting and the CIO is very down-top-earth and sensible. She will be a breath of fresh air. I hope my performance in the meeting will help my cause. I did not get to talk to her too much as did not have an opportunity. Actually, I was not able to sleep well last night although I should not have been stressed out. I woke at about 3am and could not sleep again. So I went and listened to the audio book I borrowed yesterday.

I just finished Churchill's 'The Grand Alliance'. It was a good book but 2 CDs were damaged. So I returned it to the library and borrowed Die Sijie's 'Balzac and the little Seamstress.' I listened to disc 2 and went back to bed at about 5:30am hoping to get an hour of sleep before leaving for office. In fact I was able to doze off and slip into a deep sleep as I started to dream. It was a good dream and just when I was settling into a relaxed state, I was woken by my alarm clock. It was 6:30 am already and I had to be ready for work. As usual my mind kept whirling in the dark and I tried to count my breath and meditate to control my thoughts earlier. But no luck so I had to get up and listen to the audio book.

Listening to audio books gives me a different sensation. Firstly, one knows immediately if it's a great work. But the sensation of hearing the words as compared to reading seems to diminish the impact. I think reading gives a feeling of a greater grandeur in the way the words are formed and assembled. But hearing the words spoken seems to lessen the appeal like it was common place. But listening to the works of Churchill or JM.Coetzee, one knows that the writer is of a significant and powerful substance. The effect is to have a more down-to-earth and simple effect rather than having a feeling of being in the company of great people. Sometimes that becomes my problem because I use a lot of abstract the high falluting words.

During the early morning episode, lying in my bed in darkness with my thought whirling, I realized that I have a deficit type of thinking by dwelling on my thoughts. I was worried and fretful and realized that I should convert my thinking into a so-called asset based thinking - to think in abundance. For instance, I wondered why I should be worried and I should in fact swagger into the room with confidence and speak in a calm and relaxed manner. In fact the project has been done and completed despite the 3-month delay and issues encountered. So I should dwell on the success instead of the long gone issues that were already resolved long ago.

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