Last week at work was probably my most difficult. The boss man announced that I will not work for the project anymore but we met him the next day and he said he was looking forward to working with the team. Peter was very helpful and he joined the meeting with me. It was the first time I felt that someone was helping me. The project team and the process has been restructured and I felt that I been given a second chance to make the project succeed.
In an earlier time, I would have felt really bad but my maturity and improved perceptions have helped me from getting depressed. It is the same old story that I think too much but now my thinking is improving a bit. There are new plans on the table: presenting a speech at the PMI symposium and doing a training outside the company. All these events demand a lot of time and will see how to prioritize.
By the way this is the first time I am using ViaVoice by dictating this article and converting voice into text. It is a good way to improve productivity if the voice recognition software is working well. But it will take some time before the software can correctly recognized your voice.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
The Aftermath
Things have not turned out as I thought. My old supervisor hatched a plan although he was really trying to help me I think in his own way. But the outcome is still not certain. I am not sure if I am in the boss man's project or not. But I think the outcome is confused due to no communication. So I am in limbo. I am neigther here nor there which is the same thing for the boss man's company. No knows if the company under the Europe jurisdiction or in Asia - such is the uniqueness of the company.
But I am feeling the heat. I am still caught in the crossfire and I do not know where to move. Oftentimes it is my mind's confused thinking that get's me into trouble. But then again I have always survived with my instincts. So I feel that I soldier along despite the abuse and humiliation. Haha so much for being a good soldier.
I have a lot of projects in my plate and I need to go back to the basics. My focus is lost. The first thing I need to do is to make project minutes. Now I have to be very active as well and aggressive. Anyway the annoucement has been made and I should move forward and start meeting deadlines. I guess I have hit a low in my career where nothing seems to be working right.
But I am feeling the heat. I am still caught in the crossfire and I do not know where to move. Oftentimes it is my mind's confused thinking that get's me into trouble. But then again I have always survived with my instincts. So I feel that I soldier along despite the abuse and humiliation. Haha so much for being a good soldier.
I have a lot of projects in my plate and I need to go back to the basics. My focus is lost. The first thing I need to do is to make project minutes. Now I have to be very active as well and aggressive. Anyway the annoucement has been made and I should move forward and start meeting deadlines. I guess I have hit a low in my career where nothing seems to be working right.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Positive Start
Yesterday I met with Peter and Mary who are members of the management team of my department. Finally I am with top level people who are sincerely willing to help me with the boss man. My luck has not been very good this day's and I am losing sight of the ball in a few of my projects. I am multi-tasking and the result is not very good. This has been proven in a few studies I think. The projects I am working on are:
- boss man's data warehouse = delayed
- raw material supply chain = delayed
- planning production process = still OK
- accounting improvements = delayed but not noticed (ha ha)
- support for boss man's system = OK
SO my record is not very good lately. Been trying to delegate some work but will take some time especially with the boss man's company. But the meeting with Peter and Mary have given me hope. We worked on a presentation which we will present to the boss man. I think he will be happy with the structure and road map. More important for me, I feel that I have finally some allies in my side who will help me. People without agenda's and sinister motives and who have experienced the difficulties at work. Most of the people at work seem to prefer simple jobs that are without problems or troubles.
Admittedly most of the problems I face have been self-inflicted. These are all new experiences for me and I have tried to look at my faults and try to improve them. I guess we have learning experiences in whatever age or phase in our lives. It is a matter of being able to adapt and accept change that is important. I really have to be focused in giving the IMPRESSION that I am disciplined and structured. Sometimes what matters is to watch carefully the perception of other people.
- boss man's data warehouse = delayed
- raw material supply chain = delayed
- planning production process = still OK
- accounting improvements = delayed but not noticed (ha ha)
- support for boss man's system = OK
SO my record is not very good lately. Been trying to delegate some work but will take some time especially with the boss man's company. But the meeting with Peter and Mary have given me hope. We worked on a presentation which we will present to the boss man. I think he will be happy with the structure and road map. More important for me, I feel that I have finally some allies in my side who will help me. People without agenda's and sinister motives and who have experienced the difficulties at work. Most of the people at work seem to prefer simple jobs that are without problems or troubles.
Admittedly most of the problems I face have been self-inflicted. These are all new experiences for me and I have tried to look at my faults and try to improve them. I guess we have learning experiences in whatever age or phase in our lives. It is a matter of being able to adapt and accept change that is important. I really have to be focused in giving the IMPRESSION that I am disciplined and structured. Sometimes what matters is to watch carefully the perception of other people.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Currency Trading
I attended an interesting seminar on trading currency. In the past I lost some money in currency but the game is more controlled and advanced. I think I will try it but need to study more before jumping in. I think the most important point is to have the correct mindset which is to treat investing as a business and not as gambling. It is not due to luck but a mechanical process that be be used again and again. The best way as I have done is to read all the books I can on this subject and try a demo account. This will allow me to test my theories before hitting the water.
I did the same strategy recently when investing in the stock market. I tried to learn by joining a game sponsored by the stock exchange. I had learned a lot and I am not investing directly in the market rather than via brokers or investing in unit trusts. I hope I can do the same in currencies. It is a bot more risky because the swings are more volatile. So I should be more careful.
It is now I think the end game with the boss man's project. I think I have made some progress and I am just exaggerating the extent of the problem. But the issue is real and I am be seeing the true picture than the others who seem concerned. What is clear is that I should increase my engagement with him. There is too much here say and double talk and misunderstanding spread by other people so I need to establish a direct channel to him. This is the missing link in the project actually and I can achieve a lot with his direct supervision.
I did the same strategy recently when investing in the stock market. I tried to learn by joining a game sponsored by the stock exchange. I had learned a lot and I am not investing directly in the market rather than via brokers or investing in unit trusts. I hope I can do the same in currencies. It is a bot more risky because the swings are more volatile. So I should be more careful.
It is now I think the end game with the boss man's project. I think I have made some progress and I am just exaggerating the extent of the problem. But the issue is real and I am be seeing the true picture than the others who seem concerned. What is clear is that I should increase my engagement with him. There is too much here say and double talk and misunderstanding spread by other people so I need to establish a direct channel to him. This is the missing link in the project actually and I can achieve a lot with his direct supervision.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
New Project
I am now working on a new project. It will be deployed in Thailand, China and Japan. The company is now following strictly a project management methodology with the whole works (SDLC, PLC,etc.). So the onus is on documentation. So I spend a lot of time making documentation and planning. It is a really a pain but no choice as the project will not proceed to the next milestone. Aside from this work, we also have to use new tools that monitor request and log our time sheets. We have been using these tools since the start of the year.
All these have made our work more organized and standardized within the structured methodology. But it has also increased our workload and added some confusion. I am often bewildered with all these new tools where we have to do complex budgeting and re-forecasting projects every month. But I guess that is the price of progress. One has to always adapt and follow the times to be relevant. All these with new projects coming along and with the old ones cropping up with all sorts of problems. I really can't wait for the weekend which I spend by roller-blading, swimming and watching movies. I really appreciate the nearby park where I get to bike in the evenings before coming home or skating in early Saturday morning.
Tomorrow I will be meeting the boss man and the other colleagues in our usual monthly meeting. As usual, I expect some finger pointing and bashing each other sessions again. But I am not worried or maybe I am just fatalistic. This is one of the projects where things did not go well as planned and where the boss is particularly difficult and demanding. But it is the other project members who are also difficult and a waste of time. I get to be more defensive and creative during our meetings. But time is running out as we approach the end of the year. There is still a sliver of a chance the the project will go well. I am glad that the week will soon be over.
All these have made our work more organized and standardized within the structured methodology. But it has also increased our workload and added some confusion. I am often bewildered with all these new tools where we have to do complex budgeting and re-forecasting projects every month. But I guess that is the price of progress. One has to always adapt and follow the times to be relevant. All these with new projects coming along and with the old ones cropping up with all sorts of problems. I really can't wait for the weekend which I spend by roller-blading, swimming and watching movies. I really appreciate the nearby park where I get to bike in the evenings before coming home or skating in early Saturday morning.
Tomorrow I will be meeting the boss man and the other colleagues in our usual monthly meeting. As usual, I expect some finger pointing and bashing each other sessions again. But I am not worried or maybe I am just fatalistic. This is one of the projects where things did not go well as planned and where the boss is particularly difficult and demanding. But it is the other project members who are also difficult and a waste of time. I get to be more defensive and creative during our meetings. But time is running out as we approach the end of the year. There is still a sliver of a chance the the project will go well. I am glad that the week will soon be over.
Monday, September 3, 2007
On Holiday
I am on leave last Friday and today, Monday which is 4 days rest and recreation. I cannot help but feel guilty and I felt that I should read and send some e-mails today. It is really to forestall the impending scenario of a brutal meeting on this coming Friday with the boss man. I realize that my mind mind can go into a spiral of never-ending guilt and worst-case scenario. But now I feel I am beginning to control these thoughts with less feeling of dread and anxiety. I guess the last battle is the battle to control the mind.
I wanted to do some work early this morning but I did not feel like working. So I got up at about 6am and read a book on Mao Tse Tung, surf the Internet and read some books on architecture. I always like architecture because the pictures always show well-organized spaces. Like everything is neat and clean unlike my mental state where my thought go bonkers. So I need to really strive to organize them by using tools like mind mapping.
Anyway, I have tons of work to do but here I am procrastinating. But I am in vacation after all and I should not spend my time on work. But my other mind is telling me that I should show some effort to show that I am still working. But I guess that is like paying some allowance on the rat race. At the end of the day, I still think that I am destined to work here for the rest of my life. Despite some thoughts and efforts in trying to look for another job. It is just this paranoid thinking that has led m present work life become more anxious and less fun.
This weekend we went to computer exhibitiion and I bought a printer. The cheapest around which also has scanning features. I needed to replace my old Epson printer because it was not working correctly. My kids set up the new printer with my help. They spent last night watching movies in the internet. I also spent some time watching in the Internet which is a great way to watch movies these days. All sorts of gadgets where being sold in the computer exhibition and lots of people. I did not like going there but I need to replace some stuff like my printer.
I wanted to do some work early this morning but I did not feel like working. So I got up at about 6am and read a book on Mao Tse Tung, surf the Internet and read some books on architecture. I always like architecture because the pictures always show well-organized spaces. Like everything is neat and clean unlike my mental state where my thought go bonkers. So I need to really strive to organize them by using tools like mind mapping.
Anyway, I have tons of work to do but here I am procrastinating. But I am in vacation after all and I should not spend my time on work. But my other mind is telling me that I should show some effort to show that I am still working. But I guess that is like paying some allowance on the rat race. At the end of the day, I still think that I am destined to work here for the rest of my life. Despite some thoughts and efforts in trying to look for another job. It is just this paranoid thinking that has led m present work life become more anxious and less fun.
This weekend we went to computer exhibitiion and I bought a printer. The cheapest around which also has scanning features. I needed to replace my old Epson printer because it was not working correctly. My kids set up the new printer with my help. They spent last night watching movies in the internet. I also spent some time watching in the Internet which is a great way to watch movies these days. All sorts of gadgets where being sold in the computer exhibition and lots of people. I did not like going there but I need to replace some stuff like my printer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)