Last Office Day in 2008

I can't seem to focus in work today. I kept looking at the websites sent by the overseas relocation team. I looked for houses and cars for sale. I choose a few from those available for 2 bedroom and 2 bath houses. I also choose a 2001 or 2002 Toyota Sienna van. I can't help having this dreams and thinking about my new life. I will be on a 2 week leave starting next week and I can't help surfing the Internet and dreaming about my future. I feel that it is already close to me that I can taste it. Listening to William Faulkner is also a sort of preparation for living in the South.

We had a meeting a few moments ago on the new organization structure for next year. My boss will be moving to China so I will be reporting to the group director. At least hierarchically but I still report to my boss functionally in China. I guess the situation will further evolve as we move along the year. There is still a lot of transition that will proceed. I am glad that I have been plucked out of my situation here and transported into a bigger stage. The bigger stage is in an economic mess right now that salvation depends on the new administration. So everyone is hoping for a grand plan that will lift them out of their troubles.

Tomorrow I plan to go to the museums. I plan to go to 2-3 museums then use my voucher at the Marriott hotel at Orchard. I think I will be back at my home at about 6 or 7pm. It will be probably be my last Christmas here in Singapore. It will also be my last visit to my home country in a long while as well. So I hope to make the most of it by going to museums and places of interest. I think I have seen a lot of Singapore with all the company and personal events that I have gone to. Now I plan and prepare from my new life. Similar to the book 'The New Life' by Orhan Pamuk which actually was the death of the narrator in a bus accident at the end of the book.

There are still many loose ends at work but I cannot seem to get anything done. This attitude is not possible in my new job next year. The new office will be a no-nonsense, focused and hard working place. I hope the economic situation will improve when I get there possibly in the 2nd quarter. The things I still need to do here at work are: enter the work tickets for the project, plan for the data warehouse training, plan for the go live in China, follow-up IBM to complete the set-up, monitor the transition and transfer support to a new team before I leave. In my personal life, I still need to: finish the documentation for my visa, sign the dispute form, ask about my kid's deferment or possible cancellation of residency, arrange my finances and plan for my flat's rental.

There are a few minor things to complete as well such as complete my appraisal, call up my business project leader in Thailand and consultant in Europe. But the atmosphere at the office is already vacation time. I think the major activities have started and the little ones need some attention before they become urgent. The team in the office is getting less though some departments are increasing. I cannot help but feel that I should push the transfer process faster so I get to move soon. I think the economic prices will be good to me because house and car prices will be down.

Back to work

I went to the office today and tried to do some work. Last night I was able to get some sleep but awoke early to fix my things. My wife said that I snored loudly, the loudest so far that she has heard from me. I had moments of wakefulness when I had minor difficulty breathing but all in all I awoke fresh from sleep. It was a good plane trip and I had a good spot near the doorway between compartments which had a wider leg room. The movies shown on the plane where Chinese movies: the first one was a good dramatic thriller which I liked and showed a gritty realism of life in China. The second one in the trip to Singapore was terrible. It seemed like a Chinese version of 'Sex and the City.'

I have good memories of my trip in China despite my problems with the cold. I always like this city in winter but never liked the chill which is really a poor preparation on my part. If I brought my long johns and thermal underwear, I would be fine. Most people actually do not like this city but I like it's sometimes bleak and depressing scenes. It has a kind of sad melancholy and I guess most people prefer to stay home in the cold so it's streets seem to be desolate. So it's a welcome change when one stumbles into streets filled with lights and restaurants and people eating in the well-lighted rooms. The fact that it's difficult to communicate in English with the cab drivers and waiters actually add to it's charm.

I realized that I had suffered moments of paranoia and self-delusion due to my sleepless nights. The cold was able to shield my uneasiness. But the novelty of the experience was stimulating especially with the book 'Shalimar the Clown' which I am reading. I have about 2 more CDs to go before I finish the book. It's amazing to read with interesting passages about the Abu Sayaff and terrorism in the Philippines. It reads like an earlier book I read called 'Imperial Grunts' which talks about the American military presence in Mindanao and encounters in Basilan island and Jolo. It's like Salman Rushdie has connections to American intelligence to get this type of information on terrorist organizations.

I am going to a Toastmaster's meeting tonight. My days are numbered in this local organization. I may have about six months left before moving. At last I just got a mail from the person in charge of re-location. It seems she is in charge of helping me and my family move. I have set a meeting and hope she can call me and my wife at home so we can discuss our concerns. As I have thought, things are moving in a slow and methodical way. Despite my nervous doubts, there has always been an air of inevitability towards the transfer. Once the decision is in place, all the cogs will begin to switch into gear and move the machinery towards it's goal.

The trip in China went well. I am glad we had pushed through with it. My friend, I think enjoyed himself. It was a strange and exotic place perhaps for him and he did really well in the training. Now is the time to follow through with the remaining action tasks to do. I am glad he came as he provided the meat. His summary on the last day was a good wrap-up. I called the project leader in Thailand who was not able to attend due to last week's demonstrations in Bangkok airports. We went through the summary and agreed with most of it's main points. I have a load of things to do especially in the use of the new tools. A week from now I will be on a 2 week vacation so I need to hustle.

On Holiday

I am on leave last Friday and today, Monday which is 4 days rest and recreation. I cannot help but feel guilty and I felt that I should read and send some e-mails today. It is really to forestall the impending scenario of a brutal meeting on this coming Friday with the boss man. I realize that my mind mind can go into a spiral of never-ending guilt and worst-case scenario. But now I feel I am beginning to control these thoughts with less feeling of dread and anxiety. I guess the last battle is the battle to control the mind.

I wanted to do some work early this morning but I did not feel like working. So I got up at about 6am and read a book on Mao Tse Tung, surf the Internet and read some books on architecture. I always like architecture because the pictures always show well-organized spaces. Like everything is neat and clean unlike my mental state where my thought go bonkers. So I need to really strive to organize them by using tools like mind mapping.

Anyway, I have tons of work to do but here I am procrastinating. But I am in vacation after all and I should not spend my time on work. But my other mind is telling me that I should show some effort to show that I am still working. But I guess that is like paying some allowance on the rat race. At the end of the day, I still think that I am destined to work here for the rest of my life. Despite some thoughts and efforts in trying to look for another job. It is just this paranoid thinking that has led m present work life become more anxious and less fun.

This weekend we went to computer exhibitiion and I bought a printer. The cheapest around which also has scanning features. I needed to replace my old Epson printer because it was not working correctly. My kids set up the new printer with my help. They spent last night watching movies in the internet. I also spent some time watching in the Internet which is a great way to watch movies these days. All sorts of gadgets where being sold in the computer exhibition and lots of people. I did not like going there but I need to replace some stuff like my printer.