A Hollywood Story

The events that unfolded in the last week seemed like a Hollywood movie playing out in real-time. The protagonist is playing a role that portrays him as a child of destiny as if he was a leading man in true life.  If one did not know that he is a con man with multiple lawsuits against his companies, declared bankrupt, and now a convicted felon who is familiar with the ways of Hollywood and cinematic plotting that brings doubt to the storyline now playing out in real life. In fact, this strategy has been used many times in history; to distort the events of one's life to portray a hero in the making.

Perhaps it is a story of redemption or transformation; a near-death experience that brings enlightenment that the hero emerges ready to take the mantle of leadership and solve the world's problems. Peace in the Middle East.? However, one remains doubtful, especially with the real actors behind the scenes: a real dictator orchestrating the storyline to further his dreams of conquest; to revive the Soviet empire and wage real war to recover their former glory. It seems possible if one understands the dictator's origin as a practitioner of the black arts of spycraft.

Unfortunately, everyone goes about their daily lives watching television and watching the made-for-Hollywood movie playing on their screens. The true hero is an old man who has overcome terrible tragedies in his life until he has achieved true greatness but now old age has come to claim him as it does to all mankind. Perhaps this is the real story; of a great man overcoming his desire to remain in the fight but instead leaving the scene of battle to the next generation who are ready to engage in the struggle. Of a party still with its values intact and goals clear in sight while the other party is corrupted and lost.

This is the deeper storyline playing out if one discerns the true battle occurring behind the scenes; behind the spectacle of manufactured heroism, distorted values, and the capitulation of good people to remain in power; willing ( or perhaps unknowingly ) to become pawns in the great game that's been playing out for centuries but now with the new weapons of social media, Hollywood storylines under the shadow of a real war still being fought in European soil. Perhaps the only thing left is just to lie down in ignorance and let the darkness swallow one up.

Perhaps it is just overthinking like my week at work where my new projects were now removed for good reason; allowing me to work on new things and learn more. The constant adaptation in the workplace as one navigates the changing tide, still remaining relevant but attending courses and learning new ways of working. To go to lunch with good friends, eat good food, and talk about trivialities,  about new electric cars, vacationing in Europe, or thinking about skiing trips in the coming winter. We are all going to die anyway so why not just go with the flow.?

4th of July in Boston

Boston during the week of Independence day is like living in the past. Actors walk around in period costumes, history coming alive with events in old building like the reading the Declaration of Independence in the old State house, walking the Freedom trail with a character of the past - in my case Mother Goose - the Bostonian writer of nursery rhymes; played by a delightful part time actress also wearing the clothes of the 17th or 18th Century. Hearing cannons firing and muskets shots as the actor re-enacted imagined events in history.

We walked all over the city from Boston Commons to the Harbor front, eating six different types of Chowder during the Chowder fest in Washington Street, listening to concerts at the harbor front followed by fireworks over the bay. The next day, we went on a whale watching cruise with thoughts about Moby Dick; when catching whale was the main economic activity back in the day in nearby Nantucket. The obligatory visits to excellent museums like the Museum of Fine Arts and the singular Isabel Gardner Stewart Museum quenched the artistic side one normally gets when visiting a city.

On July 4th, we went to the JFK Library with it's magnificent location along Boston Bay in solemn solitude tucked away within the University of Massachusetts. A beautiful exhibit worthy of the tragic life commemorated in I.M Pei's elegant architecture. One's feels a certain fire and rebellion in the city with echoes of revolutions and rebels, of the Sons of Liberty and the Kennedys. The city seemed like an old world of simple truths with the fight for righteousness clear and valiant, mixed with times of victory and tragedy. Boston felt like a world lost in time; away from the confusion and tribalism of modern times.

 

Returning back to work refreshed as if Boston had clarified what was vital and important amidst the turmoil and confusion at work. I did a Toastmaster speech on my Boston visit in a cramped room with too many people, the visual aid not working so I had to improvise by holding my lap top screen in front of the audience. I completed my monthly reports, participated in department meetings and feedback sessions, attended a town hall, wrote emails summarizing the current status of a new project I was working on; in short back in the rat race.

A played a good round of goal on Thursday with my partner and I finally wining our round in the last day of the first half of the tournament, biking on Friday and swimming in the pool on Saturday morning. Afterwards working in the yard and dismantling a pergola to make way for my new enclosed back patio and deck at my backyard ; the construction nearing 2 months with the builder often sick or not feeling well because of the heat wave or depressions due to his recent divorce.  A few hours earlier as I wrote this blog entry, an assassination on a presidential candidate portend a grim future like all hell is about to break loose.    

Alternate Reality

I attended yet another presentation on AI last week and missed a few which I will watch later in the recorded webinar. In fact, there is nothing new in the previous session attended just a reputation on what AI is all about with some more information on current projects. My experience has made me believe that only a little one can do except use the products already created by Microsoft in the Co-Pilot features. In essence, the term best explains the AI feature as an assistant that would help you in your work.

There is a true benefit to be sure at a higher level where more focus and technical expertise are needed but for the ordinary Joe, using the readily available tools like Co-Pilot in Microsoft, ChatGPT and Google Gemini may provide the easiest exposure. Other tools that help one build a simple language model like Google Notebook may offer more specific use to those who have a goal in mind and the ability to make it work. Tools like Sudo Write may help an aspiring novelist like me though one does have to define how the tool will be used. 

The ordinary Joe will likely experience AI in the way ordinary services are provided for example more context and suggestion when one does a search in Bing or Google, a summary of a subject using Gemini and ChatGPT, programming coding in various tools like GitLab and so on. Otherwise, the AI experience will be beneficial to those who are inclined to dive into a journey with focus and intent. Most of the people who attend these AI sessions, perhaps about 80%, will not be interested in diving deep unless an AI feature already exists in the tool they use in their everyday work, following the provider's vision of how AI should be implemented.

Perhaps this is the danger that some experts warn about; allowing AI to do the work thinking that it's all-knowing and omniscient and would bring a slow descent into chaos; allowing things to play out until all hell breaks out. Watching the Presidential debate gave me that feeling; of watching a would-be dictator waltz in despite the obvious outcome of his actions; or the doddering performance of a president past his prime in television debates (though he may be more functional in private). The reality of both men's compulsion were clear for all to see though it's been there all along.

I can't help to feel the same; going to work trying to keep busy, to focus due to my procrastination and attention deficit. Is this is reality of folks my age ? To find techniques to maintain my wits and focus using tools like binaural beats, TDSC, mindfulness meditation, ADHD planners, and so on. One is on the threshold of change brought about by getting old, to observe life's absurdity as if being in an alternate reality. Like watching the country slide into dictatorship or alternatively to doddering socialism without as care on either option.

 

On Being A Professional

I had the chance to attend several web trainings last week. The courses I attended were Digital Marketing, Hybrid Project Management, and SAFe or Scaled Agile Framework. So much I did not know especially about SAFe despite being practiced in the company. I thought I knew what was going on but in fact, I was just winging it in my ignorance; based on a vague understanding of what was going on. It's more of the experience gained which I don't consciously recognize due to my predilection to having a 'beginners' mind all the time.

A beginner's mind is always good but needs to consider the skills and experience already gained with the many years at work. Similar to the way I play golf; still have that imposter's feeling of being a beginner and having all the techniques and stances and swing rules in the playing fields when one needs to throw that away and just 'feel' the game. This is how one graduates from being a perpetual amateur and into being an old hand. Lessons do help obviously but one needs to incorporate confidence by having faith and playing the game with one's natural 'feeling' and wits.

"Feeling" in golf means to chunk away the lessons in the mind but just go about playing with what feels right which is gained from many years of effort. I have been playing golf for more than 20 years and I should recognize that and not go back to being an amateur in my mental space. Similar to novel writing, I do not have the confidence to just write but instead, go back to the lessons and buy all sorts of webinars to continue my learning when I have read and write since my youth. This experience already entitles me to a certain confidence that should allow me to move ahead.

Instead, I continue to attend trainings to keep me updated when I am already ahead. For instance, when I already know a particular subject, I persist in borrowing all the books about the topic and submerging myself into the subject until I am an expert. Such efforts are actually useless and only an indulgence. Of course, at work, I do have to earn units regularly to keep my certification as a professional project manager. There is so much new technology or knowledge to learn that one is perpetually a student.

Last week, I presented an update on my project and introduced a metric that the domain managers liked. This output came out of my experience and not from any training. I have been a PM for 19 years and have been with the company for 29 years. I have many decades of experience in golf, reading and writing,  biking, swimming, and being a Toastmaster. This background qualifies me to evolve into a confident golfer, a successful novelist, and a professional manager. Banish my doubts and feelings of being an imposter and being a perpetual amatuer.

Rage Against Boredom

 There was not much to do last week except procrastinate; surfing the internet with my cellphone while monitoring group chats or emails in case something came up or someone reached out to me. Unfortunately, it was another mostly quiet week with myself holding out from contacting people who are involved in my project to avoid being a nuisance since I am the new person in the team - the project leader no less as if parachuted by the management team, right into the melee to lead.

This decision should be thrilling to inspire trust and confidence, but in the end, it is the long relationship and string of projects I worked on for several decades. I looked back at the stuff I worked in and was amazed at the stuff I did to keep things organized: spreadsheets, emails and what have you. Is that me? I wonder in amazement as if discovering a side of myself that I never realized as if the actions of a different person. Is that the reality of being middle-aged?  I want to look back and see a different person, a much younger and more vigorous one.

I know how Joe Biden feels, to be a different person in one's old age, no longer the same person he was but nonetheless still competent and effective though perhaps at a slower pace. There are no shortcomings in cognition or ability but a different way of working; perhaps a bit jaded and cynical after all those years of hard work and drive during the younger years. Perhaps the late nights, the alcohol, and the indulgence finally make their mark.

One needs a project to engage one's attention instead of the constant web surfing in the bottomless pit of the smartphone. Perhaps learning more about AI is the subject to beat. It might even be a survival path to retain one's younger drive by having help from AI. It's all about attention and how one can still be relevant by focusing on a subject. How about learning a new language like French or playing a musical instrument?

This is the real reason why experts suggest the elderly learn new skills. To preserve one's attention and cognition by being engaged. The workplace will never provide this avenue since it's about politics and emotional intelligence, accepting neurodiversity, and whatnot. Not a bad avenue as it also paths of learning and awareness but not provide the drive and passion that one would need to be authentic and relevant.     

MetaCognition

Last week I attended several seminars and webinars on generative artificial intelligence (AI), and productivity tips in MS365 plus read several articles on improving work and assorted blogs on various topics about D-Day, reflections on Japan, and so on. I particularly like Adam Tooze's blog and other less well-known ones offering multiple takes on current events, especially on politics and culture. I find that these blogs offer a deeper perspective on their subject matter than is usually done in the mainstream media.

Oftentimes there is an alternative narrative that exists in all topics as clearly seen in politics and discerning the truth is not straightforward. My recent trip to St. Agustine for example expressed the narrative that the first European settlement in North America was initiated by the Spanish with their conquistadors and Catholic emissaries way before the arrival of the English and Protestants in Boston, Massachusetts. The English version is the prevailing narrative especially here in South Carolina following the Anglo version which the Florida story debunks and seems the more factual.

This alternative take on events exists everywhere especially in the workplace though on more mundane topics, even between friends that one must be fluid in one's outlook instead of having a fixed point of view. Fluid intelligence or being open and adaptable in mindset rather than fixed and using one's learning may not be enough. I find this is an important skill for me especially when one has changed departments, working with new people, and adapting to new conditions. Being middle-aged adds to this problem since one has already accumulated decades of experience that may no longer be relevant to today's world.

I have been meditating and doing Tai Chi for some time but mindfulness is not the full solution to cognition though this exercise does address attention and focus. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) helps correct patterns of thought but Metacognition is the more relevant skill in today's world of multiple narratives. Cognition and or understanding of one's thinking will lower stress as makes one more adaptable to recognize the 'new' instead of sticking with the 'old'.

In my recent change at work, I see that my former ways of thinking, of being cock sure of reality is not a good attitude in recognizing neuro divergence in the people I work with. Being a bit ADHD myself has made me aware of my own situation and using new tools like eRemarkable tablet coupled with a special ADHD yearly planner helps me navigate my own mental landscape and improve my way of working to understand and be adaptable to different realities. Mostly to remain sane and serene in the face of confusion.

Back from Florida

 Enjoyed 3 days in St. Agustine; our first day was spent on an hour-long bike ride along an old train route converted into a bike trail. The trail was outside the city, moving from the city's outskirts and snaking along trees, wide open spaces beside the highway, houses, and small towns. We reached the city in the afternoon after a six-hour drive from South Carolina.

The second day was spent on the beach in Anastasia State Park, biking along the shoreline escaping the crowds near the entrance, and reaching the deserted stretch where crowds of sea birds walked near the surf I drove my bike through them and watched as the birds flew up in all directions then coming together to flow in format together. After our ride, we returned to the car to get our umbrella to shield us from the sun and go into the cold water for several minutes before returning under the shade. 

Lunch at Harry's with crab and fish over rice and two beers. Then, we walked to the old Hotel Alcazar, which had been converted into a museum. At sundown, we took a cruise out in the ocean, enjoying the city's views from the sea until sundown. The next day was spent first in Ponce Deleon's Fountain of Youth park, enjoying the different shows about the early Spanish colony with cannon shots, arquebus rifles firing, and a giant globe showing the routes of the conquistadors into the Americas. 

Afterward, we visited the fort near the shoreline, watching the exhibits and walking along the walls staring at the sea and the city beyond. We envisioned the history of burning towns and fights with the British coming down from South Carolina. The old Spanish city offered a different narrative of the country's history. Spanish conquistadors were the first Europeans living on the continent rather than the prevailing narrative of Plymouth ships coming from England.

Lunch at Columbia - an excellent Spanish or rather Cuban restaurant where I had pork chops and rice. After lunch, we visited the old Governor's mansion and the Villa Zoraydo - an interesting house built with a Moorish design with intricate carvings and an internal courtyard. The Spanish presence feels like Intramuros in the Philippines. We left the next day having discovered a different perspective on the country's history - more familiar with the Spanish Catholic influence as compared to the existing English - Protestant story.

I worked remotely for the next two days, logging into the network and trying to get work done, re-forecasting and closing the month in the electronic books, replying to emails, meeting with colleagues, and explaining my project. Next week will continue the work on my project, preparing the project report for June, and meeting with the business teams and IS teams to review the report before officially publishing the content. Announcements of leadership changes will mean a different experience in the coming years with new management.