The boom has finally come. After dillydallying for several months, nay years, judgement day has come to pass and I walked right into it despite the signs. I should have left long ago, moving to another department with a new position, instead I lingered too long until the company made the decision for me. Announced publicly in front of an audience, while I stayed home, joining the meeting remotely to spare the embarrassment. But I wanted to go to work when I got up yesterday morning, but the weather was bad and I did not like to face the music. At least until Monday when I go to work.
I knew it was coming, the demotion but I just sauntered along with my performance slowly descending into mediocrity; overwhelmed with work. In a way, I should be glad because I still have a job plus I get to work in a role that is less stressful than my previous one. All I need to do is grin and bear it. That will show them, grace under pressure; the devil may care attitude. I will show my character by being gracious and a good sport. The month has been stressful for me for sure, after my wife's operation which was deadlier especially with the cancer. Finally, my demotion or transformation as the month ended.
Perhaps there is a silver lining somewhere. The choice is to stay and bear the humiliation, though one must not see it that way; rather the inevitable evolution of older workers as they fade into the sunset, heading into retirement. Another is to move to another platform with the same position; not the anxiety of the project manager, but more an analyst role. I am a mechanic; the crafty old Frenchmen said long ago; accurately seeing my skills for what they are. At least I lasted for about 5 years in the manager's role despite the angst and wear and tear of my psyche.
It is all for the best whatever choice I make because I was crumbling in my job; slowly disintegrating with my lack of passion and conscientiousness. I had to be kicked out to get the message. Loud and clear. Now begins the long road into a new job which should fit right in with the remaining years of my career. The last hurrah of my diminished state; perhaps one final though modest blaze of glory before I go. It already feels like a renewal; a semblance of something new, with sprouts of eagerness and freshness as a move ahead toward a new horizon.
I knew it was coming, the demotion but I just sauntered along with my performance slowly descending into mediocrity; overwhelmed with work. In a way, I should be glad because I still have a job plus I get to work in a role that is less stressful than my previous one. All I need to do is grin and bear it. That will show them, grace under pressure; the devil may care attitude. I will show my character by being gracious and a good sport. The month has been stressful for me for sure, after my wife's operation which was deadlier especially with the cancer. Finally, my demotion or transformation as the month ended.
Perhaps there is a silver lining somewhere. The choice is to stay and bear the humiliation, though one must not see it that way; rather the inevitable evolution of older workers as they fade into the sunset, heading into retirement. Another is to move to another platform with the same position; not the anxiety of the project manager, but more an analyst role. I am a mechanic; the crafty old Frenchmen said long ago; accurately seeing my skills for what they are. At least I lasted for about 5 years in the manager's role despite the angst and wear and tear of my psyche.
It is all for the best whatever choice I make because I was crumbling in my job; slowly disintegrating with my lack of passion and conscientiousness. I had to be kicked out to get the message. Loud and clear. Now begins the long road into a new job which should fit right in with the remaining years of my career. The last hurrah of my diminished state; perhaps one final though modest blaze of glory before I go. It already feels like a renewal; a semblance of something new, with sprouts of eagerness and freshness as a move ahead toward a new horizon.
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