Office Strategy

It's clear that the objective of the boss lady is getting the team to provide information that she can supply to the management whenever needed. Despite my initial reactions to this selfish motive to look good, one can see that this is the normal way most bosses work. Get on with it. I guess the use of modern tools like Teams does look like it is an innovative way of working. On the other hand, the attempt does not really help the team on the ground in terms of how their work can be simplified and made more efficient.

Motivation determines the character of the person and the objective to look good as the primary goal deprives any real effort to improve the way the group works. I guess that is my job as a team leader. My only fear in this drive to look good is to throw our people under the bus where the boss lady points fingers at the inefficient staff when she really does not provide any leadership. In effect, the main role is to be a messenger,i.e. the mailman as if the purveyor of new information indicates leadership but only being the town crier.

Such silliness requires me to exert myself and be visible because the boss lady will just keep blaming her team if anything goes wrong instead of accepting responsibility. I am guilty of succumbing to such office trivialities but in another way, it is the game and how one plays in the arena of the office. Hence the need to craft some strategy to navigate and excel in the politics and jockeying of position.  Fortunately, I like to plot strategy and think of the long game which is a result of my overthinking and rumination.

Ultimately, I should shift my mental energies away from office politics towards creative writing. My mind is spent in too much rumination and daydreaming when one can channel these thoughts churning activity into writing a novel. Is it too late .? Writers like Ian Fleming or Roal Dahl have strayed into the novelist life late in their careers and such is the plan to do the same. My attempts on having the working environment and tools ready will bear fruition once this shift is completed.

Frictionless Effort

My attempts to just write without friction by choosing a cloud app such as apple notes, and making the tool available on my phone, iPad, laptop, and computers have done nothing to achieve my goal. Instead, I daydream of wiring, and with topics in my mind, I see myself working along without any hindrance or thoughts. Hence one does not think to be a writer but just be. Story of my life as the only outlet for creative writing is my blog.

Same story for my work where I stop myself from letting go and just being. But I do better at work except when I need to plan such as setting up meetings and scheduling work. I am stuck in a groove until the deadline comes and I am forced to act. It is my new role and I am not used to the activities that I need to do as squad leader. Instead, I languish and have tiny doubts, where I overthink and procrastinate instead of just going forward following my gut.

My long experience and introspective life allow me to be more instructive and follow my own inclination which often ends up right; even on the actions that I fail to do but dream doing it and events turn out the way they should not have if I have done what I thought I needed to do. For sure I am at a different level as a scrum master when in the past, I was a project manager where both are not the same roles though some misguided agile coach in the office would disagree.

I am in absurd times; lurking in the shadows though I have achieved a certain level of respect and renown which is what a long career does bring you. I have perhaps 3 - 7 years of work left in me that I can only play by living in the moment and avoiding overthinking and procrastination and doubt; to live like a rebel by not being what other people expect me to be: an old curmudgeon who is past his prime; lingering until his retirement.

Instead, one must be a rebel in the manner of Albert Camus; fight against convention and be true to your life's meaning. This is the only way one could avoid overthinking and procrastination.  I spent time in my last season of vacation learning new concepts such as Building a Second Brain and learning new products and tools which will keep in the game once I master them.

        Do not go gentle into that good night,
        Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
        Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Year of the Rabbit

2023 is my year which portends good fortune. Yesterday was not one of those as I had a painful toothache, fumbling at a meeting that could have been a disaster, and some late responses to seemingly urgent chat requests. Throbbing pain in my tooth clearly took me off my stride with relief only coming today after 2 or 3 days of pain during a week of intense work of sprint demo, sprint planning, backlog refinement, and budget re-forecasting. Several other events kept springing up and I managed to complete most in a good way.

I worry about everything: the tasks I feel I should do, my relationship with my workmates and my friend, and my immediate manager. My suspicious mind keeps churning out nightmare scenarios despite my daily attempts at Tai Chi and meditation to silence the mind. The environment is also not conducive to smooth work such as 'hoteling' which requires me to book a desk every time I go to the office. This situation will soon be a thing of the past, just like the pandemic, when we will have our own cubicles.

In the management meeting on Friday, there was a moment when my manager was revealed not to have shared important information with me; an attitude that I have noticed for a while now. I just don't know if it is deliberate to make me look bad, or due to anger ( being friends) to my often acerbic attitude and criticism, or just plain honest forgetfulness. I fear that it is the first 2 reasons: deliberately not sharing information due to insecurity in providing me an advantage and also payback to my constant criticism.

I admit that I am a prickly person due to my age, self-righteousness, and feeling of superiority that I bring this reaction upon myself. I am the crusty old curmudgeon, a relic of the past just like the venerable Tom Keene in Bloomberg. But there is too much work to do now that our squad had increased by 3 people last month, bringing up the total to 12 members. I am growing in this role and took time to attend training courses on 'AGILE' methodology which I did not have last year. 

Hence, the feeling of ill will and suspicion, that I am being set up to fail, the resentment that I am not being supported. But this is getting to be the same old story like a broken record that keeps repeating itself. I have to get on with work and move on. Perhaps my horoscope portends good tidings as the stars are aligned my way to increase my chances of success. Finally, I do feel I am a new person after overcoming the challenges of last year.