Frictionless Effort

My attempts to just write without friction by choosing a cloud app such as apple notes, and making the tool available on my phone, iPad, laptop, and computers have done nothing to achieve my goal. Instead, I daydream of wiring, and with topics in my mind, I see myself working along without any hindrance or thoughts. Hence one does not think to be a writer but just be. Story of my life as the only outlet for creative writing is my blog.

Same story for my work where I stop myself from letting go and just being. But I do better at work except when I need to plan such as setting up meetings and scheduling work. I am stuck in a groove until the deadline comes and I am forced to act. It is my new role and I am not used to the activities that I need to do as squad leader. Instead, I languish and have tiny doubts, where I overthink and procrastinate instead of just going forward following my gut.

My long experience and introspective life allow me to be more instructive and follow my own inclination which often ends up right; even on the actions that I fail to do but dream doing it and events turn out the way they should not have if I have done what I thought I needed to do. For sure I am at a different level as a scrum master when in the past, I was a project manager where both are not the same roles though some misguided agile coach in the office would disagree.

I am in absurd times; lurking in the shadows though I have achieved a certain level of respect and renown which is what a long career does bring you. I have perhaps 3 - 7 years of work left in me that I can only play by living in the moment and avoiding overthinking and procrastination and doubt; to live like a rebel by not being what other people expect me to be: an old curmudgeon who is past his prime; lingering until his retirement.

Instead, one must be a rebel in the manner of Albert Camus; fight against convention and be true to your life's meaning. This is the only way one could avoid overthinking and procrastination.  I spent time in my last season of vacation learning new concepts such as Building a Second Brain and learning new products and tools which will keep in the game once I master them.

        Do not go gentle into that good night,
        Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
        Rage, rage against the dying of the light.