Rest and Recreation

I am on holiday for three days. I try to keep work out of my mind but sometimes I cannot help it. I guess this is where we really need to have discipline and forget everything at work. Sometimes it is difficult to forget and the mind can't help but slip into thoughts and memories which bring back the pressures at work. This is the hard part where you can slip into worry and depression without even knowing it.

I checked my mail last Monday and had a few phone meetings with the development team. I did not have a chance to check my mail yesterday. I tried to take my mind of work by playing golf at the nearby nine-hole course. It was great but I cannot help but think about the office. I sometimes feel that the office is a cess pool filled with snakes ready to bite you in the back if you are not careful. Last Friday, I had a few drinks with my old friend in his new job and he suggested that I look for another work - to re-invent myself. This is getting to be a good idea. But I cannot seem to make myself leave until all the problems are solved.

There are some good news these days with some help coming from Peter and Mary. Although their names seem to connote some Biblical echoes, both are really a God send so to speak. I have to be more vocal and that is my personal problem which is to communicate more. I used to be in synch with the world but in recent years I seem to be isolated from the general flow at work. Perhaps I have isolated myself so much that I am lost. Then again I am taking these problems at work personally. I should learn to detach myself from the issues at hand. This is problem because I have always placed my heart at work and try to satisfy everyone. The boss man said that my problem is I have a big heart and I try to solve everything. He is right at that point.

I have to start crawling back out of my rut. It is going to be a difficult time but that is the only option left for me unless I just quit my job. But this is not an option so I have to slug it out with the beasts so to speak. I think it is going to be fun and removing the emotionalism is important because there is a lot of politics in this project that I should avoid by mentally taking all the blame. I am my worst critic and I often second-guess my self that I am paralyze into in action. This is in fact one of the subjects mentioned in Manage Your Mind.