New Model in Place

A new structure has been put in place by Peter and Mary so the boss man will only communicate with Mary in the future. This will centralize the communication so that the message is clear and consistent. In effect, I no longer need to meet with the boss man. I can focus more on the operational side of things while Mary can focus on the tactical and strategic side. I think the boss man likes this arrangement and he has been in a good mood these past days. I hope he does not return to his usual ruthless state.

The new structure has the intended effect of reducing the politics in the department. This move was the brainchild of our CIO who accurately detected the root issues. In fact, it was not a good sight with my constant clashes with the princess and my old supervisor. Now with the new contractor working on the project plus the improvement coming in on the first phase, the project is now well under control. It is a good change coming in with the new support model applied to the boss man and Mary. It is a good change especially with the new major project coming in next year. It lays a good foundation for this major change.

Of course, I have been in the receiving end of the abuse despite all these new moves. I have no choice but to receive the punishment as I share most of the blame. But I hoped to have contributed to it's resolution by junking the old team in the Philippines with the new one in India. It was a needed sacrifice. Hopefully I can now work and focus more on the operational side of things without being distracted by the politics.

Rest and Recreation

I am on holiday for three days. I try to keep work out of my mind but sometimes I cannot help it. I guess this is where we really need to have discipline and forget everything at work. Sometimes it is difficult to forget and the mind can't help but slip into thoughts and memories which bring back the pressures at work. This is the hard part where you can slip into worry and depression without even knowing it.

I checked my mail last Monday and had a few phone meetings with the development team. I did not have a chance to check my mail yesterday. I tried to take my mind of work by playing golf at the nearby nine-hole course. It was great but I cannot help but think about the office. I sometimes feel that the office is a cess pool filled with snakes ready to bite you in the back if you are not careful. Last Friday, I had a few drinks with my old friend in his new job and he suggested that I look for another work - to re-invent myself. This is getting to be a good idea. But I cannot seem to make myself leave until all the problems are solved.

There are some good news these days with some help coming from Peter and Mary. Although their names seem to connote some Biblical echoes, both are really a God send so to speak. I have to be more vocal and that is my personal problem which is to communicate more. I used to be in synch with the world but in recent years I seem to be isolated from the general flow at work. Perhaps I have isolated myself so much that I am lost. Then again I am taking these problems at work personally. I should learn to detach myself from the issues at hand. This is problem because I have always placed my heart at work and try to satisfy everyone. The boss man said that my problem is I have a big heart and I try to solve everything. He is right at that point.

I have to start crawling back out of my rut. It is going to be a difficult time but that is the only option left for me unless I just quit my job. But this is not an option so I have to slug it out with the beasts so to speak. I think it is going to be fun and removing the emotionalism is important because there is a lot of politics in this project that I should avoid by mentally taking all the blame. I am my worst critic and I often second-guess my self that I am paralyze into in action. This is in fact one of the subjects mentioned in Manage Your Mind.

Old Friends Visit

A dear old friend is here this week for a series of meetings. We worked together years back and he is now high up in the organization. We shared many adventures together when he was posted here in Asia a few years ago. He returned back to head office with bigger, global responsibilities about 2 years ago. It was a pleasure and privilege to have worked with him all over Asia. We had lunch today and shared many stories.

I am glad to have maintained our friendship amidst the office politics that prevails in the local office. I think some of the new bosses around are surprised that we are friends. It is a rare event to have this type of relationship. He has brought a fresh air during the week and he and his team have met with the boss man to plan for the replacement of their ancient system. This will be a big project in the coming years and I wonder if I will be involved with my present reputation.

The boss man's current project is now moving along after getting the outsource company in India. The past failures still rest mainly on my shoulders but I think time will show that the past problems where mainly due to the contributors headed by my old supervisor. But that is all water under the bridge as it still remains to deliver the product. I think there is a better chance to succeed with the technical skills of the India team. I just need to grin and bear it until the project is completed.

All these bad feelings and anxiety have momentarily vanished with my old friend's visit. Talking with him amidst my present difficulties made me feel that his presence has helped shore up my reputation and confidence. After all I am the oldest person around the organization these days with all the staff turnover. I wonder when he can come again though he has asked me to tell if I am around at head office. Another old friend came today to join the series of meeting and the three of us remembered the last time we where together which was in India. This was one of the most difficult projects we ever did and I stayed in New Delhi for about 4 months.

It is always a joy to meet old friends because we will never know if we will ever meet again. These rare meetings revive the spirit and let us remember the old days when we were young and eager, working together and completing projects. It gives some strength to move forward and face the challenges with the boss man.