Leaving for Thailand

I am going to Thailand today to spend a week again in NongKhae. This is the final audit before going live. I am not happy with the way I worked on this project and hope to do better in the next factory deployment. I have been too distracted lately to focus on the essential tasks. I feel I am always new to a project and I have to reinvent the wheel. The situation is compounded by the new project management process as well as the reorganization. So instead of being an experienced manager, I feel like I a newbie out to learn new things again. The field has been levelled with the advantage on the young rather than the old.

I have recently finished reading Daniel Pink's 'A Whole New Mind.' It is an interesting book and I will read or study more on the books and sites recommended in the book. I feel that the insights are correct and that I could profit from following them. In fact I read the article written by the Ideo company president on design thinking. It has great relevance on the software development and deployment process. It is only now that it is talked about in the press but a fact of life in software development. The framework is applied in other non-software related fields. It likes we were a pioneer in the new age as well especially with agile development methods.

Back from Saraburi, Thailand

I was in Thailand last week for the project that I am doing and will go live soon. In the past few months I was not too confident about the project due to the many issues. But most have been solved and things are looking good. The team is a bit more confident and the project seems to be in good form. Of course, there were a lot of 'potholes' during the course of work and a delay of about 3 months. I got a lot of flak because of the delays and problems but were able to overcome them and I soon would need to make a lessons learned document.

I was in Saraburi province which was about 2 hours away from Bangkok. The factory is located in a very quiet town which had basically no night life. We had a lot of good times with the project team and had dinner with them in some modest places often beside the main road. But the food was excellent. I spent a night in Bangkok and was finally able to see the famous cabaret. It was fun and I did not venture much in Bangkok except for a good dinner in the usual place near the hotel plus the cabaret. I was actually a day well spent without much indulgence as in the past and had a chance to go swimming in the hotel pool.

Working in the factory was fun and it was a slow and quiet period with lots of calls to the team in Europe to help out on the issues. Overall, it was a good week and I feel more confident. I am glad that I was able to go there to prepare for go live. I have some mixed feelings and I read about the passage about Lincoln who felt humbled despite knowing that the Union will succeed in the American civil war. Similarly, I feel that we will succeed with the project going live but feel immense humility on the prospect of success because I have learned a lot and took a lot of effort and luck to get where we are right now with help from many contributors.

There was a lot of slow nights in Saraburi and I had a chance to finish the audio book of John Le Carre's latest book 'The Mission Song.' I also had a chance to see good movies again such as 'The Beach', 'The 300' and a scary Thai horror movie. I got also a chance to see how the people live in the province. I plan to return there next week for the final preparations. Hope things will turn out well. I just kept too much thing to myself although I see that the project team are very supportive of me and the project. I feel that they would like to go live soon and have a project success.

I arrived back home last Friday afternoon, went jogging and watched a great Indian movie 'Mr. & Mrs. Iyer' by Aparna Sen. During the weekend, I attended an officers training for Toastmasters, watched a movie and read books. I went swimming on Sunday and borrowed interesting books. It was a great weekend with anticipation of more work and excitement in the coming weeks.

A Different Mind

I am getting a bit anxious reading about all these books preparing you for the future. I am now reading a book called 'Practical Intelligence.' There is another book that I hope to read soon called 'A Whole New Mind'. Seems that our mind is not ready for the future and need to change our mindsets to be able to adapt to the new world and succeed. I am presently ready a book by both Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki called 'Why We Want You to be Rich'?. It is a a good book to increase one's financial literacy.

Are these book's really helpful or do they increase your anxiety and neuroses? Furthermore, reading all these books puts you in a constant state of agitation.

Back in the Game

I will be meeting the boss man again in a formal meeting tomorrow. I will essentially be doing the same thing as in the past - reporting on the status of change request and maintenance. I will be with the project office and the new auditor in the meeting. But it will also be without our usual contact in the company. So the rules and actors have changed except me. What comes around, goes around I think the saying goes.

The project I am working on for a factory in Thailand is delayed for 3 weeks. What bad luck I have this year? Project was delayed because the testing server was done for more than a week, pushing back all activities. We had a lot of problems and I had to request a technical resource from the head office to come over and help. He came and helped us but came into conflict with the local team especially my good friend from India. It was an awkward time and I had to explain a lot of things to my boss, project team, stake holder, support team in head office as well as the contributors in Philippines and India.

We are also going through a transition period were all outsource activities will be transferred to a single company in the coming months. The support office has been sold and all contributors will move their work to the new support company based in Bagalore, India. The hardware and infrastructure support has also been outsourced to another well-known company. So work will be a bit messy and confusing in the coming months. A few of the internal staff will be transferring to the outsource as well. So times are really a-changing. What an environment to work in while delivering projects and solutions!

I am really working on multiple roles - a point that was driven to me during a recent seminar I attended in project management. I have often blamed myself for not living up to the standards of other project managers in the company but I suddenly realized that I am overworked not unskilled. In fact I am doing all the roles of project manager, systems analyst and business analyst all at the same time. Also, most of the time I have spent coordinating with multiple contributors and parties in Thailand, Philippines, Singapore, India and France. So it's quite a struggle and I should not be too hard on myself.

I guess the pressure is coming from my friend who is also working on this project. I got into an argument with him but we still managed to go out having fun and drinking a few beers. But I realized my personal relationship with him may have caused some problems as well. But the difficult environment we are in have contributed to the stress and pressure as well. All these difficulties has made me look into myself and I have tried to find out my strengths. To move forward in a strength based framework. I admit it's a new way of looking at things which keeps my perspective fresh.

I have also been listening to audio books about writing from Stephen King and Ayn Rand as well as investing books from Robert Kiyosaki and Donald Trump as well as Charles Schwab. I love the audio books revolution because it helps me learn about these diverse topics without reading. It has lessened the time for me to learn and absorb new things. I guess listening involves a different set of mental muscles as compared to reading. Understanding and synthesizing all these topics will still be the challenge which I can work on by journal writing here.

Story Telling

I am trying to find out my real strengths following the framework of Marcus Buckingham's work. I started to think that my strength is writing because I like to write especially to make sense of things. A strength is defined as something one does well repeatedly with enjoyment. So I think writing fits into that category. But essentially it was done outside my working life although I have had some opportunities to apply at work. Basically to write a company news letter, memos, reports and functional specification. Not really an exciting or significant achievement. I enjoy writing more as a journal writer and, recently, as a blogger.

But is it really a strength or just a skill? I guess writing allows me to sort out my thoughts, make sense of changes by providing a narrative which I easily adapt to as part of one's so-called accessibility to story telling. So it's a tool of one's mind as a way of organizing information. So adaptability may be a strength with blogging and mind-mapping as skills that help make this strength viable. This may help me also to get things done which is something I love doing and reflects my project management work. So other skills like public speaking and communication also are supplementary skills into to my supposed 'talent' of getting things done.

Strangely I also realized that I am not structured in the organized way that my work requires me to. I have difficulty following strict rules in project management using standard software and tools and processes required from my profession. Instead I prefer to proceed instinctively, assessing the situation on the ground and responding based on the circumstances at hand. Project management at the set of the pants so to speak. So I am not well organized from this perspective although I seem to get things done despite these shortcomings. I just do not rate well with the management team who require this formal 'appearance' of structure, discipline and organization. Getting things done in my manner is more messy and reflect an older age where project management tools where not known yet.

So where does that lead me? I seem to enjoy working with people, discussing issues with them and solving problem. I also like the process of orchestrating the different tasks with different teams to get thing done. All in the 'set of the pants', intuitive method. So working on formal, project management processes like getting PMP - certified is not really for me because it's a weakness that I should not focus on. Following Marcus Buckingham diagnosis, I should only focus on working on my strengths and things I enjoy. Hence, am I wasting my time continuing with my PMP certification and attending Toastmasters?

I guess these are just skills and knowledge that I must have just to stay in the game. Not really a talent that I possess but part of the areas I need to be aware of to survive in my work. So if my talent is on 'getting things done', what then are my strengths following the strength finder methodology? Perhaps it is in Relating (Communication, Harmony and Relator), Striving (Achiever, Adaptability) and Thinking (Analytical, Futuristic and Ideation). As I have not really taken the tests, I guess my next step is to find out how to apply these so-called 'themes' into my work life. Buckingham's work has shifted my understanding of myself and opened a new direction for me to increase my self awareness. A good way to grow and look for a new career or direction towards strengths.

So I guess the question now: is writing a strength of mine? I have never done any formal writing except in personal journals and I agree it's just a skill. A talent in being an author requires a wider set of skills which I realized when listeing to Ayn Rand's 'The Art of Fiction' last week. I never actually focused on them and instead just wrote my journals to experience the joy of writing and organize my thoughts which are really exercises to adapt to my situation. So I guess I need to learn more about these other writing skills if I am serious in these pursuit.

Weekend Reading

I am listening to a few good audio books that has challenged some on my previous beliefs. The first audio book is Marcus Buckingham's 'Now, Discover Your Strengths.' I have already listened to his previous books 'First, Break All the Rules' and 'The One Thing You Should Know.' Basically, the main idea that challenges me is that one should cater to one's strengths. Previously, I was more on the Stephen Covey school of thought where one should develop into a well-rounded person. To sharpen the saw and work on improving one's weaknesses. But based on Buckingham's work (based on extensive research and surveys), one should in fact focus on one's strengths.

This made me re-think the past efforts I have exerted to improve myself. For instance, I joined Toastmaster to improve my communication skills. I would think that public speaking was a weakness of mine and that I should exert much effort in this area. Following the Buckingham book, I should not focus much effort on this area and instead focus on my strengths. But I have not yet determined my strengths so I am not sure whether it's a weakness or not. A strength is defined as a recurring activity that one excels in consistently. I think based on that definition, I have been delivering projects successfully for the past few years. Following the framework, my strengths may lie in Relating (Empathy & Harmony), Striving (Adaptability) and Thinking (Analytical and Learner). I have not taken the exam on Strength Finder but I think this would be a rough approximation.

So I guess that learning public speaking maybe a way to improve my communication which is within the Relating quadrant. Joining PMI and getting a PMP certification is another improvement task. Perhaps this lies within the Thinking Quadrant and should be also a strength perhaps in Analytical and Arranger themes. So I guess I can proceed with these activities but re-frame the effort in another context. I think Buckingham and the Gallup research is significant and that I should change my point of view into a strengths-based framework. I guess this would be an ongoing activity because I should really look into myself and determine what is the essence of the work that I really enjoy. Looking at my core enjoyment, I do enjoy working with people, organizing project tasks and getting things done. I think I have some talent in these areas which I should focus on and also to re-discover the joy in doing these tasks.

Another significant work that I am listening to is Ayn Rand 'The Art of Fiction'. Listening to the first CD has opened my eyes to the hard-nose task of writing. I always thought that writing fiction was some sort of mystical event following the tradition of James Joyce or Ernest Hemingway or F.Scott Fitzgerald. Now I hear Ayn Rand criticizing Joyce and Gertrude Stein, for instance, icons of the so-called lost generation. But Ayn Rand's ideas are concrete and consistent, being an established writer herself. It has opened my eyes on the reality of writing away from the mystical sense of divine inspiration which the cult of Hemingway has cultivated all these years and which I was entranced with in my youth. It will be an eye-opening session for me as I have not yet listened to all her CDs.

Second Life

A good friend of mine is working on a project with Second Life. He is using this platform to explain about the enterprise architecture in the company. Second Life is a good name. It refers to a change - a parallel life to one that is being lived. A funny concept that seems to imply deceit. Like having a second wife and family. The past few months have affected me that I feel disoriented. Aside from the changes, the pressure of doing projects and meeting deadlines amidst the change and uncertainty should have an impact on one's psyche. But I try to rise above my work life by having an active 'second' life.

For my part, I have responded by enrolling in a gym, exercising and drinking more. A strange combination that I try to balance. I guess it is reflective of the stress that I experience. I have also increased my book reading and borrowing of audio books as well to update myself on the world. I guess it is like I m trying to make sense of the changing world around me. Instead, I am stressing my mind more and maybe end up more bewildered. But again I have an answer to that which is to do roller-blading in the park and taking guitar lessons. Both are new experiences for me and my idea is that these new experiences will allow me to biologically grow a new mind - nuerogenesis, I believe is the word. It describes the way the mind builds new connections or synapses (?) as one learns new things.

Of course, my end desire is to move to a new career. I do not feel any desire to find work in another company, although I have prepared myself for this eventuality. I have no choice really because I need to pay the bills and raise a family. What attracts me is to strike out in a new career as a writer and maybe be a teacher or public speaker. To have a portfolio life similar to the one proposed by Charles Handy I think- the English equivalent to Peter Drucker. I am attracted to the life of the writer. I recently read about the new James Bond author - Sebastian Faulks. But time moves on and I should really strive to be one instead of imagining to be one.

My Indian friend at the office mentioned that I am always preparing. Preparing for something better but never taking the leap and utilize my preparation. Maybe he is right. I spend too much time reading, going to seminars and not doing much. The modest application of my knowledge from my learning is to invest in the stock market modestly, write in blogs, speak more clearly and participate in Toastmaster events. Is that a fruitful life? Perhaps I am experiencing a mid-life crisis. Or perhaps the events of the past few months have finally taken a toll in my mind. So I just need to take a break from my 'second' life.