Crossing to the Other Side

Last week was spent on the new project I am managing which is migrating to critical systems to a new way of transmission. No one in the head office in Europe is available despite the fact that these applications are managed overseas. Not a major endeavor but the applications are critical enough to need serious attention. I am working with a young Indian specialist who is overweight but is hardworking and open to my suggestions.

My mental health is much better and I have been sleeping more based on the statistics for the month. My move to my new role has made me do less as I turn over my work to a new guy who seems much older than me or perhaps slightly younger. He has a family with grown children lives at a lake nearby and owns a boat. Clearly, this position requires someone who is experienced. and able to handle stress. He underwent a good orientation with the squad going through workshops to change their way of working.

I do not see my departure as a failure as I did not receive the same level of training and support from the management team. They have acknowledged that I was not given the right preparation for my new role. In fact, I applied for a different post which changed mid-stream without my knowing of the change. Also, new people have been added without proper planning. The situation was a mess and I was caught in the middle trying to do everything and make things work.

I have transitioned to my new role and behaved in a manner that is helpful to both the squad and the new person. I have decided to take the high road, not to be resentful and embittered but to move on. I am stuck on some other projects with my old way of thinking. Clearly, the game has changed beneath my feet and I did the right thing to withdraw from the field of battle and chart a new way forward. I was listening to a book about what to do when one is stuck to accepting one situation and moving on.

I decided to focus on AI and devote my energies toward this new field. There is great promise with all that I have heard, read, and seen. This is a new beginning for me, a way to start afresh and devote attention, effort, and time to pivot to this new way of working. This path will be my salvation and perhaps help me achieve my goal of finally being a novelist.

At Riverside

Last Saturday I was at Riverside Arts District in Asheville North Carolina, enjoying an afternoon beside the French Broad River, in lawn chairs watching the river flow before me with people rafting by in rubber tubes. The weather was excellent with a simmering blue sky and lazy clouds drifting by. We sat below tall trees and talked about many things with my cousins who I hadn't seen for some time. He and his wife live in Alberta, Canada, and are on vacation, staying in a condo in the Smoky Mountains. 

Before meeting my cousins, I went to the Art Museum which had only a few exhibits, and was disappointed at the price charge which was too much for a few exhibits but the art lifted me as most art museums do and the rooftop views of the surrounding city and hills compensated a little. We walked the main street outside the museum with the interesting restaurants across the street. There were a lot of people as we drove around the city before heading to the river and there was the vibe of a young and off-beat city with young people about and quirky places to go.

We ate at Smoky Park, a restaurant near the river's edge that served funky sandwiches. I had a beer and we walked out to the edge and sat on the chairs to see the river flow by. The beautiful day was a good break from the hectic week and I was glad to leave the city and go the the mountains. When my cousins arrived and after a time sitting and talking, we walked to a nearby beer house and bought a burger and fries. Ashville is famous for its craft beers but I did not feel like drinking as I would be driving back.

The next day, Sunday, we went on our usual bike ride on the swamp rabbit trail. There were fewer people in the park on Sundays as compared to Saturdays. The next day was Labor Day and I went to the gym to walk on the treadmill and go the poll and swim. In the past, I used to go to the gym on the weekend just to swim but I felt better after my workout if I used the treadmill first to exercise my legs before going for my swim. Going out to the countryside and having a regular exercise regime is important to maintain your sanity in the stressful world. 

Inside the Bubble

Last week I wallowed in semi-self-pity and paranoia though fought back with deliberate mindfulness by not paying attention or having these thoughts without judgment to realize their silliness.  Daily meditation allows one to be in the moment but the mind ceaselessly churns out thoughts but now with less consequence and control. A meditative mind that is mindful of its thoughts needs a tool to be aware of the demands of work, the next steps of a project, reply to an email, need to schedule meetings, and whatnot. A calm mind is a solution to burnout and overwork but may not be the best mind in a busy workplace where the need for action is paramount.

However, there are great business leaders like Ray Dalio the late Steve Jobs, and other who benefits from meditation and mindfulness. The secret is to Build a Second Brain (BASB) - a tool for knowledge management that makes one efficient by having more bandwidth in the brain by moving out mental data into an external location using tools like OneNote, Notion, Obsidian, and EverNote. This is really more on managing your mind not only with meditation but in the way one thinks, and building systems like BASB and knowledge management.

The key is a strong note-taking habit and a process to distill and categorize these notes into a system can can be organized and easily retrieved when the need arises. This requires one to be less emotional which is my main challenge. Often thoughts brought out by events bring out anxiety and fear with misattributed or incorrect reasonings and misguided course of actions. Meditation allows one to control and mind and one's emotions which scales back the thinking process in a way that one is not used to if one like me is driven by thoughts, action plans, strategies, and so on.

Instead, a calm unassuming mind that is temperate removes the constant churning of thoughts and actions and externalizes them into outside systems of knowledge - a second brain that allows one to be active in the moment but content that another tool is behind one's well-being. Otherwise, one remains inside the bubble forever driven by a monkey mind without the benefit of mental rigor and calm deliberation. Get out of the bubble which is not only achieved by meditation and BASB but also by journaling and practicing CBT or cognitive behavior therapy.

Rush to Learn

I am in a mad rush to complete several courses in Linked In. The month-free trial period will be ending on the 31st of July. After the trial period, my credit card will be charged close to $ 300. I am cramming on all the courses on Artificial Intelligence and general productivity subjects. Afterward, I plan to continue my AI learning in the company-sponsored Udemy account. I also have been listing to podcast on investing in stocks that will benefit from the current rush to AI.

Some commentary point to a bubble with AI tools way into the future to significantly improve work and life but companies like Microsoft are already raising subscription prices on the use of their tools. Who would have thought that MS would take the lead with their investment in Open.AI and Chat GPT. Google and Meta are close behind having made significant early investments in the field. Google may lead eventually with their significant early investment and embed it into the toolset.

The promise of AI in improving one's life has significant potential. Writers who have strong fundamentals in storytelling can benefit from the use of LLM - Large Language Models that simulate understanding the generated output like written stories. Most people call this aspect generative AI which is the prevalent manifestation of AI and not the omniscient behemoth in movies like Mission Impossible. Linking AI to actual tasks and concrete actions (controlling machines or nuclear missiles) will cause significant danger as compared to the current manifestation via chatbot.

The current potential is more on increasing one's productivity, to add or augment one's skills. I plan to learn AI tools for novel writing and perhaps responding to emails and making reports in the office. My recent discovery of my slight ADHD condition is the other area that I am studying. I entered a course on Building a Second Brain (BASB) is the other game-changer for me. This will help me organize my life in a way that I have never had the ability to do. Recognizing the problem of ADHD was the first major step.

My early intuitive urge in writing journals and blogging helped me manage my ADHD without my knowing it. Having an active lifestyle of exercising, swimming, biking, and hiking kept my mind sharp. My second intuitive urge to learn meditation and Tai Chi, do therapy, and practice Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) was also helpful. Now including AI and BASB are the next wave of tools that will help me in a second career. TCDS and magnetic headband tools plus learning to juggle and play a musical instrument will play a part as well.

Too much AI = Hallucination

I am taking several courses in LinkedIn on topics like artificial intelligence, creating lists and other productivity lessons. I also enrolled in 2 courses in Udemy on Chat GPT and Google Bard that I have not completed.  I also enrolled in Tiago Forte's Building a Second Brain as well as several courses on writing in  Domestika.com. I am cramming due to the recent change in my role from squad lead back to Project Manager. I guess also to prepare for my life after work ; just to keep me busy and continue earning money.

As struggle to achieve my goal to be a writer, a thought came to my mind is that writing is just a hobby to me, not a real pursuit as I keep procrastinating. There is always attempts on self-sabotage by cramming to learn the latest trends such as AI and what not. Yesterday I watched the latest Tom Cruise Mission Impossible movie as well well as Ben Affleck's move 'Air' about Nike's pursuit of Michael Jordan. Both movies are highly recommended and I felt I needed to watch - actually the fear of missing out (FOMO).

In the midst of of all these mental procrastination and missed attention, I face several challenges at work especially on the project INDU which I thought I had a handle to but turns out the problem has not been solved. Complicating maters is my move to the new role plus stress, anxiety and loss of face that brings me. Projects are ongoing, customers are angry, criticisms abound from co-workers, bosses and management team who I feel are screaming for my blood.

But that is being dramatic as management really want to help out and not look for the scapegoat to sack. My boss is a different matter: striking alliance with business teams in her usual slick and cute manner; conniving behind my back possibly because she thinks I am a threat or insecure or just a cold-blooded operator who will strike down anyone who gets in her way. Thank the lord that I have been meditating every morning plus getting exercise to help relieve stress.     

I do acknowledge that I struggle in my role as team leader (though I blame my management for not preparing me for the role but also for general incompetence). A recent survey have rated the team at a low level which is testimony to the common feeling that not all is right. I have so many ideas that I cannot keep track and lose sight of other goals at work and other personal projects like clearing out my garage.

The strategy is to keep calm and focus on the moment, use science like getting enough exercise and sleep and use gratitude journals and blogging to keep the mind sane as well as use TCDS devices to zap my brain and compensate for any effects of my slight ADHD syndrome. But I have changed as well, to recognize my emotional states at time and the inappropriate ways of communicating and relating to my squad members as friends instead of being ruthless and cold-blooded to get things done. 

  

ADHD

 I recently realized that I have some ADHD which may express my feelings of stress and anxiety. My intuitive ventures into journaling, meditation and Tai CHi has helped me through the years but the underlying issue is ADHD. Even my use of TCDS - coursing electricity through my brain was also an intuitive attempt to manage ADHD. ADHD was the demon lurking behind the scenes unbeknowest to me.

In my recent role, it became clear that I am struggling with the demands of this job though the organization and process is not perfect as well. I had my usual attempts to be more productivity but the mental acuity was not there. I also was clearing up my garage with all the stuff when it became clear that impulsive buying and the way I just dumped all these stuff in the garage or even in the dining table was a sign of a different sort of mental issue.

The discovery was made after listening to Andrew Huberman's podcast of ADHD and concentration when things started to click. The way he described how ADHD afflicted people use the piling method to organize their stuff, being prone to stress and implusiveness made me take an online exam to determine my situation. The test results show that I am more than 50% to 60% with symptoms of ADHD which now made me understand the way I think and do things.

Being ADHD is the all encompasing reason of the the cognitive challenges that I have been facing. The good news being that I amnot fully ADHD but more that the average person.Soemhow it present a new beginning for me despite the work I still need to do to make me more affective in work and life. I stared a reatiude journal - writing in long hand the items I am grateful about, jotting notes in the morning or after work.

All these years I have been journaling and doing things like therapy and CBT to manage my mind and made me want to be a writer to take advantage of my love of books and writing where reaction to ADHD without my knowing it. The goal was to have a clear mind and this was my path forward. 

But this afflection does not explain all my mental ills as I made conscious decision to live the life I wanted to live and take ownership and direction of where my actions have taken me. I am in a much better place now than before and as compared to most people which I am grateful  for. 

Artificial Intelligence

AI is the buzzword that's spreading like crazy with major business leaders predicting a major change happening in all aspects of life. In keeping with this hysteria, I took several courses on this topic on Udemy and Linkedin. It does promise a new way of working and living. I study ChatGPT and Googla Bard, learning things like Large Language Models (LLM)and regenerative AI. Frankly, I am excited and see the potential for transformation.

I linked this topic with Building a Second Brain(NASB) and revisited a podcast to remember the steps and the main tasks of taking notes. I failed to move forward and have not fully exploited the ideas on BYOB; struggling to implement the next steps of taking good notes and reflecting and constructing a second brain; getting caught up in the toolset rather than the process.

I feel I am on the cusp of a major event; that this is a watershed moment of a new way of thinking and working. It will be a weird world as expressed by Ezra Klein in a past podcast; where the strangeness of a new form of intelligence is guiding people's future. I took a lesson on Sudowrite - which is an AI tool that provides writers with a writing assistant or partner. This looks like a tool that I have been waiting for to kick-start my writing goals.

What are the roles of the writer if the computer can do the writing? How will the office work use AI to be more productive and excel? This is where the excitement and wonder lie, where one figure out what to do with the new tool and change his life. It is the aspect of the new that draws people to the new age.