ADHD

 I recently realized that I have some ADHD which may express my feelings of stress and anxiety. My intuitive ventures into journaling, meditation and Tai CHi has helped me through the years but the underlying issue is ADHD. Even my use of TCDS - coursing electricity through my brain was also an intuitive attempt to manage ADHD. ADHD was the demon lurking behind the scenes unbeknowest to me.

In my recent role, it became clear that I am struggling with the demands of this job though the organization and process is not perfect as well. I had my usual attempts to be more productivity but the mental acuity was not there. I also was clearing up my garage with all the stuff when it became clear that impulsive buying and the way I just dumped all these stuff in the garage or even in the dining table was a sign of a different sort of mental issue.

The discovery was made after listening to Andrew Huberman's podcast of ADHD and concentration when things started to click. The way he described how ADHD afflicted people use the piling method to organize their stuff, being prone to stress and implusiveness made me take an online exam to determine my situation. The test results show that I am more than 50% to 60% with symptoms of ADHD which now made me understand the way I think and do things.

Being ADHD is the all encompasing reason of the the cognitive challenges that I have been facing. The good news being that I amnot fully ADHD but more that the average person.Soemhow it present a new beginning for me despite the work I still need to do to make me more affective in work and life. I stared a reatiude journal - writing in long hand the items I am grateful about, jotting notes in the morning or after work.

All these years I have been journaling and doing things like therapy and CBT to manage my mind and made me want to be a writer to take advantage of my love of books and writing where reaction to ADHD without my knowing it. The goal was to have a clear mind and this was my path forward. 

But this afflection does not explain all my mental ills as I made conscious decision to live the life I wanted to live and take ownership and direction of where my actions have taken me. I am in a much better place now than before and as compared to most people which I am grateful  for.