On Getting Old

Last week I needed to write an email in reply to Miss High and Mighty and respond to her silly email.  I also planned to work on a document that I needed to submit to her audit. I have done this sort of thing many times at work; quick and smart answers to silly questions and rushing off to finish a technical document. But I hesitated, bored in doing this sort of stuff again and again. 

Initially, I felt anxious for not getting to work, procrastinating, but I had other more important things to do and the multiple workloads froze my brain into inaction. In the past these emails would sweep me into a fervor of anger, to show them my quick intelligence by writing a blistering response. But I realize later that I felt old for this game, something that I person my age would have felt beneath his dignity. But I find myself stuck in this sort of limbo where I still work with these jokers who think they are all mighty.

This brings to mind the thought that maybe I should finally think of retirement. My father retired at about my age today, where he started a trucking business or an import and export business which all failed despite buying several gadgets but never making a lot of money. These business failures made him delve into real estate in Los Angeles which also did not prosper as he spent time in Las Vegas trying to earn money by gambling. 

He tried other ventures until age caught up and all he had was his golf though he continued to dabble in entrepreneurship by delving into custom-fitting golf clubs. At least he tried something; looking for ways to capitalize on being a salesman. On the other hand, I do not have his salesman's drive to go out in the road in search of fortune. I am a homebody and may end up like him despite some dreams of mine to be a writer or internet entrepreneur. I also play golf but not as good as he was and without the same fervor.

Did some idiotic person in the office drive him away? Perhaps it was a missed promotion or his career had stalled like mine. I continue to work in some limbo but I am doing good, gaining some of my old mojos back and doing project management work. However, Miss High and Mighty comes along and disrupts my tempo and I am no longer the young lighting that would have responded back in kind.