Belle Chere

Yesterday we went to Asheville, North Carolina. It was the ‘Belle Chere’ festival where the streets of the city where sealed off, food stalls, bands and people selling all sorts for stuff filled the streets. It was a fun day and we spent that Sunday exploring the city. I also visited the home of Thomas Wolfe near the city center. I liked his books like ‘Look Homeward Angel’ and I was happy to see the boarding house where some of the great scenes of the book happened. It was a good afternoon, with pleasant weather. I wished I could have stayed overnight so I can drink and have more fun but I guess one can only do these sorts of things as a bachelor.



I liked the city and I found some bookshops selling second hand books. There were some small quaint restaurants and bars lining the street and the roads rose up and down through the hilly terrain and city surrounded by the mountains. There were also a lot of tattoo and body piercing shops as well as meditation and yoga studios. Art galleries, Tibetan statues, funky clothes shops were also plentiful. There was also an elegant arcade with high ceilings and sun gallery and expensive looking shops that remind me of Europe. The whole place gave off a feeling of artistic life and carefree living. I was reminded as well of Baguio City in the Philippines or Clermont in France.


The drive to Asheville was also very pleasant driving though the mountains to reach the city. I hope to spend more time there and enjoy the city more. I had wanted to let my son drive but he did not feel like it. We got back at about 5pm and tried to get the boys a haircut but the shop was closed. So we went to Wal-Mart instead and bought an outdoor griller. I could not load it into the car so called our friend who had an SUV. They helped us bring the griller home and we invited them for dinner. We bought roasted chicken, corn, coleslaw and potato salad from Wal-Mart. It was a good dinner and I drank some wine. Dinner was much better than lunch at Asheville. I had sausage, rice and beans while my wife had Jambalaya. It was suppose to be good New Orleans cooking but we did not like it.

This morning I passed my driver’s license. I passed both the written and actual driving test. My wife was not as lucky as she did not past the actual driving exam. I guess the paperwork is proceeding as planned and the only major tasks left are to complete the enrollment of my kids and to file our petition for a green card. I can’t help but feel that I need to rush things and get things done. I am afraid that I am rushing my kids but I think they are adjusting in their own way. After attending mass, we went again to the gym and we enjoyed exercising and playing basketball. I think my kids are getting to like exercise although my youngest son is a soccer player. My goal is to make them fit and make them appreciate the benefits of an active lifestyle to make healthy for future challenges. Hopefully, it will make them handle stress much better.

Our friend here is busy completing the purchase of their home. It’s a much bigger place than my own with about 4 bedrooms. So I started to think it I made the right decision in buying the townhouse. Maybe I should have waited and bought a much bigger house. I had a dream the previous night of my kids playing basketball in a garage of a large house. They seemed to have their own cars and they were in their 20’s. I realized after I woke up that the townhouse would not do. But looking at my circumstances, I realized that the town house was the best deal I could get, with my budget and coming expenses. But looking forward, I think this property may be useful in the future such as a rental property or giving to one of my sons if they decide to live independently. So I guess it’s not a bad investment if I have a time frame of at least 10 years.

Changes Cometh

There was significant news at the office today. The reorganization plans have been completed especially for Asia. My former office and department will be operational until end of 2010. At least there is a year for my former colleagues to prepare for. I had an online chat this morning with my former boss who is now in India for a project. We chatted briefly about the future. He assumed that I knew about the news but I didn’t. I read the official announcement near noon and I was surprised how sweeping and conclusive it was. (I guess I made the right move). I also had a chance to speak to my old friend who is now in France. He is in a powerful position and he blocked the project I am working on. But I think it will eventually be un-blocked.


There was also news about changes in the local office. It directly affected me because it concerned a person I knew who seemed to have a demotion as he went to a lower position. But I think he is a good guy and won’t mind the move. I think the writing on the wall is clear. The preparation for the contractor’s departure is being planned and management is making sure that risks are addressed. I wrote yesterday that some big changes are expected and I did not think it would come so soon – the next day in fact. I had a chance to talk to my boss at the end of yesterday and he seemed to be OK. But he also looked preoccupied which I guess was today’s news. I think the contractor staff from India will be impacted.



So the big news for today was the reorganization in both Asia and here in the USA office. One wonders if my functional boss will react or just roll over and take the punches. I saw him this morning but I think he left early. I guess the meeting at lunchtime with my old friend was rough. My old friend does wield a big stick and I don’t think my boss will feel good afterwards. In the afternoon, I met my hierarchical boss for our weekly and monthly meeting. The goal was to set my objectives for the year. But I think it was also to inform me about the changes. She assured me that it had nothing to do with me and I feel the same although it affects the project I am working in. It was a good meeting and I think she was making the extra effort to show her transparency to get any lingering thoughts from my mind.

But after having worked in a difficult environment like Asia where back stabbing seems to be an every day sport, the politics here is like child’s play. The main reason is that people are more decent, frank and straight-forward than perhaps anywhere in the world. To emphasize this fact, I am listening to Doris Kearns ‘Team of Rivals’ about Abraham Lincoln. The events described by the author are really politics at its blackest heights. But despite the black hearts of the protagonist, the efforts of Lincoln have proven to be enough to changes hearts and minds and given the people involved an opportunity to rise above their normally mean selves. The better angels of their nature have shined through. I guess there has not been the same circumstances in my mind where the people of Asia where ennobled in a manner that Lincoln has done for the American people.

The Old -New employee

For the past 2 days I attended the new employee orientation. I was with new employees who have been with the company for only a few weeks or months. I was the oldest having been with the company for almost 14 years. But I was asked to attend because I am new to the country and zone having been here for only 4 months. It was a good orientation and I was able to learn more from this orientation than in my past years in the company. I have never felt close to the company except during these past few months since I arrived here. With all that they have done for me in the recent month, like transporting my whole family here, have increased my sense of loyalty.

The speakers where great featuring a few grizzled but lively presenters. All are seasoned veterans who have spent at least 25 years in the company. One presenter reminded me of the late author of ‘The Last Lecture’. It was great to see the new employee orientation from the eyes of an old employee. It gave me a sense of pride to be one of the 'old' people around. I was the only one from Asia and I think most of the people thought that I seemed to be from an exotic land. I met a few interesting people and had a few missed opportunities to mingle more with the people there. But generally it was a very relaxing 2 days to learn more about the company. I also had a chance to go to the gym after the orientation.


I did not attempt to work during the training and left my computer at the office. I came this morning and saw that my boss arranged meetings with the external suppliers which I should have done. He was in a grumpy mood when I told him that I would bring my son to driving school for a few minutes. He also arranged the meeting in the afternoon when I believe he knew I already had a meeting booked with my functional boss. I think there might be some tension between my functional boss and my hierarchical boss. Also some changes will be coming soon with a new leader coming on board. I think there will be a sea change coming with a lot of pain for the contractors. I think the local staff will be asked to step up and do more work as some of the tasks will move offshore rather than on site.

There are a lot of old friendships and loyalties here that may be affected. I have to tread carefully because there are tensions shimmering below the surface. I am the new person here and I think am being used as a pawn between 2 opposing camps – the reformers and the status quo folks. It’s the usual change sweeping in and the usual folks are resisting. This company is known as being dynamic with changes happening all the time and some people in the leadership will use the economic crisis to transform and rock the boat. I have seen these office struggles all my life that I am not as excited or concerned as before. One gets to accept the inevitable and learn how to ride the waves like surfboarding. At least I now know the terrain with the employee orientation and I have more confidence as well learning about the systems.

Global Culture

Today is 'mind expanding day' for me. We had planned to drive to Asheville but did not feel like it. Instead spent most of the day watching Internet movies. I watched 2 movies about the Philippines: a 1950's movie about the Huk rebellion and a 1970's movie called Satan's Bride or something of that ilk. The Satan movie starred a very young Tom Selleck. I enjoyed both movies although some would called them low rate B-movies. The Tom Selleck movie was about witches burned in Manila during the Spanish period. It showed some interesting scenes of Manila in the 1970's possibly around the time when Martial Law was declared. The movie about the Huk was filmed mostly in the province in a sugar plantation and mill. But it had some interesting scenes of 1950's Manila and Intramuros before the reconstruction.


I think I will spend more time looking at these free movies in the Internet from now on. I got a letter today from the cable company telling me to stop downloading movies. So I should tell the my folks here to stop or will end up in the wrong side of the law. I also watched the British Open and I was hoping that Tom Watson would win. He was so close and he would have achieved some record at his age if he had won. Sadly he made a mistake in the 18th hole where he could have finished the tournament. Instead he went into a playoff with Cink Stewart who eventually won. But looking at Tom Watson play golf reminded me of my father and the times he would spend watching television in my youth. Watching Tom also gave of a feeling of stability; it's like an old hero came out into the present to give people hope and a sense of familiarity to old values.


During the intermission, I read WIRED magazine. I like the article and it keeps me up to date. They writers are connected to the latest trends and are smart and trendsetter themselves. These days I like to read WIRED and VANITY FAIR for the political and social article. I also like reading FORTUNE to keep me updated on the economy and business. There is so many things going on that one cannot miss reading. In fact these effort will just put your foot in the door but you still have to hustle to get through. I also watched a video on South Carolina so I know more about this place and I can also plan my vacations. From the video, only Charleston, Myrtle beach and Hilton Head were featured a lot with only one place in the Upstate which I forgot now. So South Carolina is known for the cities along the Atlantic Ocean for vacation and recreation.

I am glad I stayed home as gave me a chance to read the SC drivers manual. I really need to work on my license soon and hopefully complete my application by this week. I was able to see also a video about You Tube by a Kansas university Anthropologist. I did not know how connected and linked the world is or about the emergence of a global culture. I have been reading about this emerging global culture in books but it was only on this video that I was able to see how it works. I was led to this website by an article I read in WIRED which made me understand more the world we live in. It's all a connected world and it's only now that I am able to make sense of it all. At the center seems to be Google and it's ability to make money on this new world. There was an article in WIRED about the auction of advertising so everything came together in my head.

I think the key is modularization, networking and collaboration. It's only now that technology is making everything work. An interesting part of the You Tube video is the section about technology helping people understand themselves and this world. By blogging and making videos of themselves talking about life makes them adjust more successfully. This is where it gets interesting, where technology is empowering people, helping people discover themselves, be better persons and connecting people like never before to achieve incredible things. An article in WIRED says that the American car industry in Detroit will only survive if it is able to harness this new way of organization - modular and networked to achieve leadership in new car technologies. It is quite heady stuff and recession and crisis is making it all the more relevant.

Paycheck

I got the calculation from my monthly paycheck and it’s sobering. The figures are relatively small considering the figures in my past pay slip in Singapore dollars or even Philippine pesos. The main reason is the tax rate which is about 33 %. Now I understand why a lot of people complain about taxes here. It’s a crazy figure so I have to be really careful. My main problem is the coming tuition of my kids. My plan is that the sale of my flat in Singapore will take care of their tuition for the coming years.

Hopefully I can get more income by the following ways: looking for a second job, finishing my book, my wife and kids start working on part-time jobs. Actually it’s not really severe but I guess I have to watch the pennies so to speak. Any medical expenses will also be a killer for me as well. So the key I think is any profit I would gain from the flat sale in Singapore. Otherwise the backup plan is increasing my credit card debt and student loans for the short term. But the long term solution is really to get more income.

What is great here are the opportunities available to increase one’s income. All sorts of options exist as shown in television, books and so on. So the key is really having the will and desire to succeed. It’s the so-called American way that could only be possible in this country. I don’t think anything exists like it anywhere in the world in that the returns will be much greater than any effort applied. Such opportunities do exist elsewhere but the multiplier effect I think is much greater here.

I think I should start putting myself in fighting mode again. Though the economy seems to be recovering, one can never be complacent. I guess I should start preparing myself for any eventuality by increasing my skills, increase my networking and being lean in terms of expenses and desire. But there are other opportunities that are available to the rest of my family. Giving them the confidence and helping them adapt to the American way is really the long term solution. Teaching them to fish instead of giving them fish is the slogan.

Acclimatizing

Last Sunday we went to the Biltmore house in Asheville, North Carolina. It’s a wonderful place. It’s the type of house that one read about in novels or watches in movies. In the past, I would often think that these types of houses do not exist, as it’s just a Hollywood set or a figment of the writer’s imagination. But walking through the enormous halls and rooms, I realize the true extent of wealth in America. Of course, I have visited the enormous palaces in Thailand, China and India. But I attributed them as something that is part of history, where it’s a normal consequence of ancient kingdoms, empires and monarchies.


Only here in the Biltmore house was I able to see the incredible wealth of private individuals that match and even surpass the ancient royalties. It’s the naked display of wealth and power in a manner that is acceptable and welcomed by the public. In fact, it was a brilliant conversion of private magnificence into a public tourist park. The conversion into a public business concern from a private estate was a sort of allowance to today’s frowning upon of conspicuous wealth. And what an enormous wealth it is. Long ago, about 18 years ago, I had wanted to see the Hearst castle in California but it was closed when we drove up. It would be interesting to compare and make the comparison. The only comparisons I can think of are the castles in India especially in Rajasthan that seems similar.



The drive to Asheville was pleasant and took less than 2 hours. The drive was through the mountains and pleasant country side, with a view of the Blue Ridge Mountains and the southern foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. The view of the North Carolina hills was great from the Biltmore house too and I was reminded of those movies on English royalty in their country homes. Movies like ‘Remains of the Day’ or even ‘The Queen’ come to mind. After the house, my sons and I took a walk in the extensive gardens, the Bass pond and the conservatory. It was a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Afterward we drove to the winery and I tasted the wines which were quite good.


Driving home I was amazed that we have come this far; like it was something that we have been doing for a long time. Or rather it seemed that we have been living here for many years already. I guess it is because the move here is the second time my family has transferred to another country: the first one was from Philippines to Singapore and the 2nd move was from Singapore to USA. I am glad to have completed most of the tasks like buying a house and car and settling everything down within 3 months. But I think it will take a year at least for everything else like my kids assimilation into local college, acquiring the habit and lifestyle to drive and be independent. Perhaps, also my wife will get bored at home and look for work. I think these are still the coming adaptations that will play itself out in the coming months.

I dare say I like my job, the place here and the decision to move. Initially some trepidation at the back of my mind but things seemed to have turned out well. We invited our friends over last Saturday during lunch and they told us about the news in the Singapore office. It seems like our department will be there until the end of 2010. But there also other news like promotion of a friend which is also good. So change is moving along and I am glad to have decided to transfer here. The people are great and the way of life here is just to my liking. I have more time to spend with my kids who are at a growing stage that needs more participation from the parents. The move has made me closer to them as they mature in their teenage years.

Overspending

Yesterday I got a shock when I checked my bank account. I was surprised when I saw my credit card deduction. I knew that my ‘extravagant’ spending ways for the past months will soon haunt me. And it did when the bank statement came. At first I thought there was some fraud and I called the customer service to complain. But it turned to be correct so I was left mulling about my behavior. I was suddenly faced with financial ruin, especially in the coming months when my kids will go to college and my wife not working. I started thinking of ways to earn more money by getting a job or completing a book.

Suddenly my dreams of security in the US was threatened. But I knew that I could work something out because it’s the way things are here. One can have 2 or more jobs if one wants to as long as one is physically capable. So I started to wonder what type of jobs are good for me. Previously my mind would go on blaming mode, accusing everyone who I think is conspiring to keep me down. Nowadays I am settled to accepting responsibility. It will be on my shoulders that my family will succeed. I had always wanted a strong partner to help but I guess that is not possible. Hopefully for the time being only.

Most of my purchase where paid for by my saving stored in my Singapore account. Now I am faced with the near depletion of my savings if I keep on spending. The coming major expenses are my wife’s medical treatment and my kid’s college tuition. If there will be any emergency expenses, I will need to borrow money. The only thing left for me to do is to pay for the fenceconstruction. I think that would be a good investment so my family with have an additional area to go to. My expenses in the sport club I think is also needed to provide my kids withopportunities to exercise and meet people. So I am keeping expenses to a minimum.

I now understand how people can be over extended here. Credit is easy and there are all sorts of things to buy here. So it is a temptation nightmare. So I have to go back to my discipline again. Even my health is suffering because I can’t stop myself from eating. Now I am being more careful going back to my water and oatmeal days. I have gained about 8 kilos and I need to lose it fast. I also need to live within my means again. Last month I was in the negative, meaning I withdrew more money than I received from payroll. It was due to the balance I gave for the car purchase. So at least there was a reason for my over extension.

I also need to realign my values and focus on the important stuff. There is a different mind set here and the emphasis is on practicality and values. I can’t help but think that I have been living a dissolute life in Singapore. Previously I thought that I had lived a dissolute life in the Philippines when I just moved to Singapore. It seems that the more I move to a more prosperous country the more circumspect and chaste my life should be. I guess that may be the result of being in a progressive country: people are more serious and working on activities of true value while maintaining their conservative ways.

On Borrowing Books

I enrolled at the company sponsored sports club. The offer is good and includes membership for the whole family for the cost of one. It’s a good deal and I plan to encourage my kids to go more to the sports club. They spend too much time in their room playing games or surfing the internet. I think they need more social activities and the sport club should be able to provide the right atmosphere. Initially, I did not like the added expense but I think it will be a good move for the family. Hopefully, my wife will be encouraged to exercise as well.

Last night I was on the phone to Singapore working on my kid’s academic grades. Their former schools need to send their transcript to a US organization prior to their enrollment. So I spent some time discussing with the customer service to speed up the process. I had sent the postage fee in US dollars and the staff insisted on Singapore dollars. So I called my old friend and asked a favor. He made up the check and sent it to the ministry. I will call again tonight to see if they received the payment. I need to follow-up more frequently now that school is approaching.




My younger son’s school has already sent the records for his post secondary classes. I now have to call my oldest son’s college to follow-up the records. It’s very tiring to call after work and try to convince people hundreds of miles away to work on your request. I hope it will be easier. The key is not to let things proceed by chance. Normally people may think that the work is done after sending the request by mail. A lot of things can happen along the way so one should be vigilant. I still have to call my credit card and real estate broker to settle these other issues. There is no one left who can work on these issues because my wife is not well and my kids are too young. I also feel that I should lead and manage this process because I have pushed them to move at the end of the day.


I had a good conversation with my friend and it’s good to talk to him after so long. His adopted son will soon join him in a couple of weeks and his life will soon change. A lot of changes will be happening soon to my old gang. One of them will be returning back to the Philippines, another will have his adopted son, while others may be moving to another country soon. So many changes for them as well and I may have started it all by moving here 2 and 1/2 months ago. Change is happening everywhere in people’s lives. I watched a 60 Minutes video on Barack Obama and I better understand his symbolism. It’s all about change in his mind and he is trying to lead it.

Barack is more a symbolic inspirational leader in contrast to Bill Clinton who is also an inspirational leader but is smarter and knows how to get things done. I guess Barack is the right person appearing at the right time in the history of the US. As a symbol, his victory validates the American dream. He is the mid-point between 2 warring sides and is the best candidate that is appreciated by the world. I am getting to be more interested in local history and I borrowed Doris Kearns ‘Team of Rivals.’ I also borrowed a book called ‘Lost Triumph’ about Gettysburg. I was in the library yesterday and I was amazed at the quality of the books. The audio visual section was quite good and comparable to the best in Singapore. It was just a local library branch and it’s resources where impressive for a local branch.



Strangely, while walking around, I was not as thrilled or excited as I should have been in a library. Instead I felt more tried and had the realization that I would not have the time to read and listen and borrow all the books and movies and audio books at this stage in my life. It’s like my days of reading are gone and that I should move forward and do something more concrete rather than making me smart. I felt that now is time of application of all the things that I have read and learned. Or, maybe it was because I was tired and I had so many things to do. I have to apply for my driving license soon as well as complete my son’s application to college, push both of them to learn driving and exercise in the gym so they would be physically healthy to handle any stress in school and/ or life. That’s my challenge: to plan for a soft landing for my family here in this big move.

4th of July Weekend

Writing here now in my blog means that I am dozing off or having trouble keeping awake at work. It’s about 3pm in the afternoon and the sleeping sickness is coming over me again. So I resolved to write once I feel like dozing off in the afternoon. At least I like writing so the desire to write keeps me awake. But it’s better today than the past few days because I had a more difficult time previously. Maybe it’s better because I was able to sleep early, about 10 pm last night. I guess it’s a fact of having a good night’s rest but the afternoon drowsiness is a killer. I suppose I need a nap or a really strong coffee to keep me awake. Now I realize why older people seem to drink more coffee: it’s to keep them awake.

We are having more meetings and I am receiving more work from my boss. I perceive that he wants to schedule work that he can manage by himself. Sometimes I feel bad that he is not delegating more but I guess it’s his style. He is one of the more disorganized and unstructured manager I know; more so than me. But he is good is some areas like managing work via MS Excel. Sometimes he is also good in the use of some applications which can compensate for his weaknesses. But I think it is getting to a point that some of the members are resenting the way he works. Perhaps his considerable charm is starting to wear off. In my paranoid mind, I think he is isolating me more and more.

But I understand the situation. One of the long time staff from India is affected. He has been very helpful in past projects and I am sure he has solved a lot of problem. But recent moves to cut costs have impacted him. In fact, 2 of the outsource staffs in my department have left or are leaving soon. There are jobs considered dispensable. Some of these staff even think that I am the reason being the new guy on the block. Perhaps I am also too aggressive that I turn people off and others feel that their jobs are threatened. I feel for them because they are decent and hardworking with families to support. But what can I do because it’s how top management will decide on what to do to reduce costs.

So I try to be less aggressive and keep quiet. I think I will be aggressive than Iam called for because I detect that I am turning other people off most especially my boss and the key architect. I am just applying the Asian way but it’s not appreciated here because things move at a much slower pace. I can’t help feeling that the American dream is slowly being derailed. Thomas Friedman may be correct in writing that Americans maybe losing their edge in business. I share the same view after seeing the incredible development of people in China, India, Malaysia and Singapore. So their lunch will be eaten away from under them. I think the good life and taken out the edge out of their life.



During the meeting this morning, the lead project manager did a subtle criticism of me by saying that I am working hard so I can get another feather in my cap. I don’t really know if he is alluding to me but I guess he has stereotyped me. I don’t know if I should talk back or let it pass. But I guess that is the way of life here in the South, where people tend to stereotype others so that’s why there are a lot of civil rights issues. But in fairness to them there are also a lot of kind people here. I guess I am also guilty because I am not communicative which may be affecting them. I also stereotype which is a shortcut made by the brain. I think there are a lot of cognitive shortcuts being done around here principally to absorb increasing information.

Afternoon Drowsiness

The afternoons at work are terrible for me. I have episodes of sleepiness. Is it because we are left more on our own here than in Singapore. Is it because with more freedom, falling asleep on the job is more tolerable here? Or, conversely, working in Asia is more stressful that falling asleep at your desk is not an option. So the stress is keeping us at our toes in the East. Or is because I am doing more work here in the USA like driving to work, working on the kid’s application paperwork and so on. So I am not sure why I have problems in the afternoon’s here than before. Maybe it’s because I eat more since I often go home to grab a bite to eat.


Most night I sleep at 12 midnight and wake about 6am. I start my Tai Chi exercise while watching TV, and doing rowing exercise for about 30 minutes, then breakfast of 2 toast with cottage cheese, chocolate drink, fruits and 2 table spoon of cider vinegar. Then off I go for a shower and drive to work along the lonely country roads to the office. It takes about 10 minutes to get to work and I take coffee once I reach my desk. Hence, I think it is a typical life and the only thing really is that I struggle to keep awake in the afternoon. Maybe I don’t get a good night’s sleep because of my possible sleep apnea. But I also realize that I am more awake and on my toes here than anywhere else.


It’s a calm attentiveness that I have now due to the circumstances. For example, driving to work as compared to taking the train to work, where driving require more attention than just passively riding the subway. So my senses are more alive here now especially when I am doing something. I am glad that I can function now at the best of my abilities as compared to my existence in Singapore where I was half dead. So I guess I may be more tired mentally than physically which is sapping my strength. I want to be more productive in the evenings after work so I guess I should start drinking small cups of coffee after dinner so I could work on my other activities.

Sometimes I feel I should start smoking again in the afternoon to keep me awake. Last night I smoked my cigar while walking around the neighborhood. I did not like it and I put the cigar out after smoking about 1/3rd of it. It did not keep me awake because I dozed off while watching the video on The Appalachians. Afterward I took a bath and started reading the magazine ‘Wired.’ It a great magazine as it keeps the everyday Joe like me updated on the latest trends and inventions. It was enough to keep me awake for a few minutes to learn about new things. I guess new ideas often keep me awake.

This morning I brought my wife to the doctors and I was driving around like mad to keep the appointment. It went well and I went home to eat a big lunch of beef stew and fish fillet and rice. Maybe that’s why I am sleepy now because of the effort of driving and eating a big lunch. Even the strong tea I am drinking is not keeping me up. Another idea is that my mind is working at a different level that my mind shuts off as it's working on an unknown groove. I guess I have to monitor and think if new ways to keep awake. Some options: taking a nap in my car during lunch time, listening to music on a MP3 player, writing a journal (which I already do).