Everything is a Journey

A recent article in NYT talks about the use of the word 'journey' to describe any event or experience in people's lives.  No longer a word that connotes a physical trip, the word now becomes a metaphor for whatever experience or challenge occurring in one's life.  Several journeys or stories are happening in my life at the moment. I say story because the word 'journey' is really about storytelling, to depict one's challenges as a sort of voyage of salvation, redemption, or transformation. The struggle must be difficult otherwise the experience is trivial.

• Journey #1: transfer to a new department, adapt to new people and ways of working, and learn and lead a project in a new area of the company

• Journey #2: leave behind my old team without rancor, anger, revenge-seeking, or bitterness and, instead, be grateful and not disdainful of their success; be big-hearted and proud of their progress;

• Journey #3: to adapt to new tools and techniques like artificial intelligence, building a second brain, Microsoft 365 co-pilot, Google Gemini, and ChatCPT, to be outgoing and more open to people and follow new ways and not succumb to ageism being middle-aged;

• Journey #4: continue to progress in extracurricular activities that will increase my understanding and appreciation of the wider and not just consumed by work: play golf in the company league, participate in Toastmasters, watch Opera and National Theatre;
  
  
• Journey #5: continue to meditate and practice mindfulness, focus on my health by going to the gym, swimming, biking, running in 5k races, and managing my mind not to keep churning thoughts about perceived slights from friends or office politics or envy or focusing of trivial internet surfing and self-debasement plus continuing therapy and self-reflection;

• Journey #6: continue the effort to write a book and use the latest tools to be a writer, attend online lessons in writing and continue lessons on various topics to let me be a better writer have a regular routine, and foster a disciplined writing craft;

This weekend my mind was again churning with too many thoughts about work, friendships, projects, and planned hours improvements all under a cloud of paranoia, dark desires, low self-esteem, and plots and the flights of the ego; of being the center of the world and wanted time due to thoughtless abuse and shameful pleasure.

There is too much thinking, worry, daydreams, external stimuli, and ambition that meditation and mindfulness help me control, and listening to Gregorian chants and church music helps alleviate and soothe the mind. Again the solution is Just Do It following the Nike commercial because one has the experience knowledge and success being in the place that one is in today. However one must have compassion and self-love that one cannot do everything. 

New Project Work

 Last week I had a lot of free time to take courses on project management and watch videos of company meetings and read about events in other departments.  I have learned more about the company in these past few weeks than the 3 decades I have spent in my career. So much has happened on the sidelines that I was aware of in the periphery but now have more understanding. This lull period is normal as I recently moved to my new department where I spent time learning new things and taking online courses until a project has finally been assigned to me.

Since then, I have scheduled several meetings with the business team; project leaders, project owners, and the main business sponsor. I also met with the IT teams; domain and platform managers, squad leads, and some engineers. I have been reading the project documentation and attending some seminars on this new area of the company business. This realm is so much different from the area I have been working on for the past decades of my career. It is a new world for me with a different vocabulary, area of focus, business, and IT resources and it feels like I was hired by an entirely new company. I find myself the rookie in the field.

It is a rare chance for me to have a new lease of life in my career; as if I was handed a second act for me to fulfill. I have learned many new things I am obviously a novice in the arena but my experience and skills in leading projects will sustain me in this endeavor. Oftentimes I am the oldest person in the meeting by my biological age as well as the longest-serving employee as most members are less than 20 years in the company. I guess it is this seniority that I get the respect of the team.

I do feel the years in my situation not succumbing to anxiety or excitement being new but instead jaded and calm with the experience I have gained working in Asia and the different projects I worked on worldwide. I am the old man who still has a bag of tricks in his sleeve perhaps like Joe Biden who is running again despite his advanced age. I do feel the bias that most people have toward the so-called elderly despite having spunk left to get things done. The challenge is reframing once usual reactions to a project not as the bright young genius but as a veteran old hand that ensures respect and courtesy.

This is the advantage that I have in these moments; as a senior; to be calm and calculating and strike at the precise target that my experience and intuition would guide me. My initiative to learn new things like AI and keeping abreast of new technology will also give me an advantage not sinking into a situation of being obsolete and behind the times. I think my new boss is starting to see my value. I have always brushed aside my age; trying to be one of the boys but my colleagues are younger than me and have polite deference if I don't perform the way a younger person would.

This may be the root of my debacle when I was overwhelmed due to my age when it was really poor management with the lack of preparation and support from my previous supervisors. My age has slowed me down, causing me to be confused and out of touch when the issue was really management incompetence; the inability to manage seniors and instead shut them away and replace them with younger people to hide their inefficiency. But that is the way of the world and one has to rely on his wits to survive.

Cyrpto Currency

Last week I used Notebook LM from Google for my project and see if I can get some value from this AI tool. There is a lot of hype about AI in the press as well as in the office as everyone is eager to get on the bandwagon. Notebook LM is a quick and easy way to get started and I was able to demonstrate in our weekly meeting how I intend to use this tool in my work as project manager. There is some promise but not fully realized what I have done. I got a lukewarm response but some interest from my boss as maybe a new path for his department to explore.

I was admonished to use this tool instead of the company tool that is being promoted using Chat GPT. I wrote to the Eurepoen head requesting access and expressed my ideas for using this tool to help in managing projects. He seemed happy and eager to provide me access perhaps to help this initiative to get more headway and attain a game-changing result. Next week will be interesting once I get access and as I load project documents and experiment. I like this type of work to be an innovator and learn something new that is at the cutting edge though I suspect not much from this endeavor with Language Models. The promise seems to be the Microsoft implementation of Chat GPT in their copilot tool available in their Office 360 suite.

I spent most of last week attending courses on Project Management while learning about the details of my project which covers a different part of the company business where revenue is expected to increase. This new area is different from what I am used to and more into pure software as a service instead of the usual manufacture and delivery of a product. So I spent time learning about this business and reading about this new area. Everything is new for me in my new department from the project focus to the use of new tools like AI.

At times I could not help myself in looking at my old team, hoping that disaster would strike now that I am gone and that without my 'brilliance' all will go to hell but in fact, the team is doing well despite some small mishaps. This is a lesson to me that the world does not revolve around my existence, that I am not as brilliant as I think I am though that is also short charigng myself as I do focus and commit my energies and initiative with some imagination and verve. Using the AI tool was a retunr back to form but not in the groundbreaking way that I often exaggerate.

A golfing friend of mine is encouraging me to invest in a private equity firm that invests in real estate and some interesting investments like alt-currency coin mining. This is a new direction for me and I borrowed some materials from the library on cryptocurrency and bitcoin mining. The return on investment is impressive at 28%. I feel that we are truly in a new world with Artificial Intelligence, altcoin mining, and my new job in the software as a service domain.  

A New Home

Last week, I worked with a project manager on an infrastructure project that involved deploying new hardware in North, South, and Central America. The project manager praised me for my work in ensuring that the software components were compatible with the hardware and could be installed at the respective sites. Most of my work involved coordinating with several teams through chats, emails, and conversations. Although I was supposed to be a co-project manager, it was determined that having two project managers would add unnecessary complexity to the project.

I like working with her after having worked together in the past. She was actually on leave for spring break last Friday but participated in the group chats and had a few phone calls with me to talk about the next steps. My former colleague told me that I was praised in the meeting and I was glad she had done so without my asking. It was good to be recognized and that my former colleagues heard this recognition from other people as a sort of vindication for my skills after my difficulties in that department recently.

I have found a home with good people, honest, straightforward, and competent; where we have good enjoyable conversations and honest sharing of ideas. I am assigned new projects with another platform which is good for learning new things and meeting new people. I feel that I have narrowly escaped from a tangled web, from chaos and confusion driven by inexperienced managers, and finally landed in a place where people are experienced and competent. Of course, this is an unfair assessment as people are trying their best at work and coping with the workload.

I am a different person to match my new circumstances, learning from my mistakes and striving to do things differently and more efficiently. What more can one ask after breaking free from a jungle and walking into the light?

 

Prague in Winter

We spent 6 days in Prague which was a delight, walking the cobblestone streets, exploring the city, drinking beer or hot wine while walking and enjoying beer houses or coffee houses or underground cellar restaurants when taking breaks from our walks. Prague occupied a place in the periphery of my mind, not having the attention of a Paris or London or Rome, like a neglected gem that would someday get it's needed attention. 

I chose Prague by happenstance while searching for cheap hotels and found a discount in a 4 star hotel 20  minutes from old city possibly since it was the off season being winter. It was a busy 6 day vacation with long walks in the city, attending concerts and the opera at magnificent venues such as ancient baroque churches or synagogues or Municipal Hall or the National Theater with the magnificent architecture of an imperial city.

On our second day while listening to Vivaldi's Four Seasons in St. Clementine Church, sitting in the pews with music enriching the cold space of the church, looking at the paintings of Christ and the Saints adorning the ceiling and the wall behind the altar was a sublime moment. Tears filled my eyes and I was on a verge of crying; finally feeling the impact of difficult events of the last few months;  my career change, my feelings of humiliation, hard work and stress coming back in that instant together with the rapture that came with the music and magnificence of the church. 

Suffering is a Christian experience, to survive the unfairness of life, with God as your guide that I felt I was willed into that majestic church to listen to that divine music within the halls where spiritual visions were displayed that I felt an epiphany, that my suffering at the office was God's plan and I had  overcome my challenges with his grace.   

The next few days was a joy to explore and  understand the history of Prague and it's significant role in Christianity. Somehow the city seemed familiar as if coming back from a former lifetime, welcoming me with it's embrace, an ancient city with it's mystery and beauty, of spirituality and grace and of redemption and renewal.  

In the week before our trip, we watched several YouTube videos on Prague everyday during dinner. I also borrowed 5 guide books and read a bit on the city so we were prepared; to understand the transportation in the city, the currency and food, places to go, travel tips and other useful information that made our trip enjoyable.  While at the hotel and at the airport going back, I watched videos on Franz Kafka, Prague Spring, Velvet Revolution and the breakup of Czechoslovakia.    

Our itinerary in Prague:  

Day 1 - Wednesday. Departure  Charlotte to Chicago to Zurich to Prague

Day 2 - Thursday. Arrival@ afternoon : check in Hotel, eat local food near hotel,  ride bus to Prague Old town square;  see astronomical tower, cross Charles bridge

Day 3 - Friday. Tour Prague castle, St. Vitus Cathedral, St. George Basilica, Golden lane, lunch (beef in mash potatoes) near castle in Mala Strana, lost in Mala Strana town looking for tour guide to Prague castle. Watch 1st classical concert at St. Clementine church.

Day 4 - Saturday. View IMucha exhibit in Municipal hall, Chocolate factory in old town, eat sausage in old town, Lobowicz palace in Prague castle, lost in Mala Strana, cross Charles Bridge from Mala Strana, drink coffee in old town.

Day 5 - Sunday. Walk in park outside city, around lake, go back to Prague Castle to Lobowicz Palace for 2nd classical music concert, ride tram to National Theater to watch Dalibor Opera, eat early dinner (duck confit) before opera beside theater and  walk across the bridge and in the island below the bridge before watching the opera.

Day 6 - Monday. Go to Prague Lumia Light Show and Museum of Senses at old town. Eat lunch in cellar restaurant boar cuts and beer. Watch 3rd Classical concert at Spanish Synagogue @ 5pm and another out 4th Classical concert @ Municipal Hall @ 8pm, walk in old town while drinking hot mulled wine.

Day 7 - Tuesday. Walk in old town across Charles Bridge and enter St. Nicolas Church in Mala Strana, go to  Clementine Baroque library and astronomical tower, lunch in Uzbekistan restaurant meat and dumpling soup, beef or lamb in rice with nuts. Departure - go to airport@ 2 pm. Flight to Brussels

Day 8 -  Wednesday. Brussels overnight - Ibis Budget hotel. Ride Bus to Brussels airport. Brussels to Newark to Charlotte arriving at 10 pm EST.

Rabbit in the Year of the Dragon

Last week I had meetings where I transitioned my work on the environment where I had an hour to explain all the work I had been doing for more than a year in stabilizing the computer system; from the fixes done at the infrastructure until the monitoring of change that are deployed that breaks the system. It's been a good recap for me as I surprised myself with the scale of work I have accomplished as well as the initiatives and processes that I set up. It seemed a fitting end to my work on this subject as I transitioned this project to my replacement.

I also had a couple of exchanges by chat to transition to another project where I had the lead in fixing data inconsistencies between different systems. I had hoped to have a meeting to do a good turnover like the other project but my manager did not have the opportunity to schedule a meeting with the different parties; preferring to take the lead in other ways without my participation which is just as well. This project had a lot of loud voices from different sectors and may be better to be without me. However, the chat was effective in laying the process clearly so that the new team could follow with some improvements.

I had another meeting on Thursday to explain another project that I am doing which has not been completed yet due to lack of funds and resources. It was the second meeting of the day on the same topic but this time without the other parties and just me and my boss. I again explained the current situation and the remaining work to be done once funding is secured. I feel good in these meetings because they let me showcase the work that I have been doing and lend a feeling of finality as I move on to my new department.

I also attended 2 projects that I bring with me to my new post. I felt that I needed to do more but I have done as much as I can as dependent on the work from other partners that are delayed or need further explorations. Such is project work where you meet with other people who have their own opinions and pace of work that I have to adjust to. My new post is for product improvements and my boss is a step away from the top management. From this perspective, my move can arguably be called a promotion.

I feel I have turned a corner with this move where I had no input on the decision since it was just announced to my manager by top management. There was no explanation for this move but seemed tied to the recognition last December where I was recognized and awarded a generous amount of points that I converted to a vacation in Prague. My trip is the final reward for a year of challenges and changes that had turned out well as seen in my recognition and new post.

My role in my new post acknowledges my long experience in project management and I continue this role but with more customers. The past year of transformation self-reflection and focus has prepared me and I had anticipated this move in the back of my mind though my horoscope did predict a career change. Is there some truth that one's destiny is aligned with the stars? Perhaps astrology does play a part in our lives.

Happy New Year

Last week my current boss announced my transfer to a new department; same role but now my customers is all the domains in the platform not only the domain I used to work in. My new boss reports directly to the head of the whole division which I guess is a step up for me. This transfer follows in the heels of my recognition by the platform head where I received a large amount of points which I converted to a hotel stay in Europe. I can't help but feel vindicated, that I emerged victorious after several months of feeling shame and humiliation.

Despite my seeming success, I am under no illusions that my path ahead is going to be smooth. There are new people to meet and new learning on the other domains. Currently I am already working on an infrastructure project replacing hardware in Northern and Southern Hemisphere, and another project related to customer interactions - a far cry from my usual work exclusive to my domain. The last 2 projects I worked on went well which had praises reaped upon me for my performance; mainly attributed to my constant communication that is clear and timely and collaborating with other groups 

I have transcended my dire circumstances, focused on the work assigned and kept at it especially the new projects outside my domain where my work was good enough for me to be moved to this new department plus public recognition. At least that is my interpretation since no one really explained why I got the recognition plus incredible points and my transfer. Perhaps it was the sacrifice I made leaving my post for the betterment of my domain and enduring the loneliness of this decision; the deliberate exclusion of my presence as may affect the needed change; as if I was bad influence like having the plague.

The division manager had promised me that he would post me elsewhere if I agreed to leave my post and finally showed he was good to his word, a person I trust more than my immediate management. My supervisor maybe surprised by my success and recognition as well as the person that replaced me; thinking that I was old and washed up; counting the days, months or years until my retirement; an elderly relic who has seen better days. But the old dog still knows a few tricks of his own.

The danger here is hubris; to think that I came out on top, that I am better at those who had wronged me. It's true that I feel contempt to my supervisor and the new recruit for their treatment of me; that I am glad to be rid of this department and have a new home that will welcome me. Thoughts of anger and revenge, of plots to get even still haunt my thoughts but one should have compassion. This is the better way that despite my progress I do not get swell headed and gloat. Indeed, my circumstances is largely due to luck than anything else.