Examined Life

I posted some pictures during the weekend to my social network site. It was the first time I posted pictures of my family. Previously most of the pictures I posted where about my work and colleagues. So I changed my privacy setting to allow only friends to access my profile and pictures. I guess I wanted to show what a life for someone like me is. Social networking is a way to leave some sort of record of one’s existence. What is a life? The question is answered while looking at the entries at these sites and seeing the pictures of all your friends and acquaintances as they grow old and live their lives. It may one way of finding meaning to life.


One day these sites will be the repository of all one’s existence. Future researchers would not need to travel to distant places, to dig up records or interview people. It will all be done in the web where all one’s life is in YouTube or FaceBook or in a blog. One could see how life has unfolded for people and documenting their passage in earth. These things provide the modern equivalent of reflecting about one’s life. Sometimes it would be a stupid video of one foolishly dancing in ancient ruins or a prank or playing basketball or something. But I think it would provide a momentary pause, and a slight second of reflection will cross the mind. Hence, it is the examined life in full Technicolor of videos, photos or blogs.



Is this what the Greek philosophers where saying when an unexamined life is not worth living? In this regard, everyman and his dog has a chance to review your life and give comments. All the latest technology provides everyone with the ability to document his life and inner thoughts hopefully, to make the world a better place by giving each one a chance to reflect on his life. Perhaps to even compare with others, to benchmark and see how others have lived their life and maybe to copy or learn from them. I read somewhere that the Kennedys are popular because their pictures provided a glimpse into their lifestyle and people try to follow them.

Unfortunately, all sorts of things are out there in the Internet. Some are garbage like famous movie stars with terrible videos of their sex lives that it's embarrassing. People like Paris Hilton or Pamela Anderson or another such famous people. Most of these videos where stolen illicitly but is now open to the public where everyone can comment on them and give their opinion. For the more normal folks like me, one just writes blogs, post pictures or videos in social networking sites and keep everyone informed. I guess it is a way to open oneself up and keep in touch. I used to think that checking emails, social sites like Facebook, or Yahoo Groups was a waste of time. In fact, it's staying in touch like calling an old friend and chatting on the phone but in global larger scale.

So is that a life? The sum of a person’s existence is seen in his blog, YouTube and Facebook. Can that provide a glimpse of what that person really is? Is being active with these new modern tools constitute an examined life as suggested by the philosophers? Sometime the feedback of this openness results in more self reflection and analysis. Posted videos of one’s shameful escapades often result in shame and ridicule which do change the people involved. The ability of the Internet to provide both self-reflection and feedback to one’s life can make one a better person or destroy one’s life. It’s suddenly a new force if one agrees to be connected and expose oneself to all that is out there in cyberspace.

Secret Sessions

It’s all about what you know these days. The way things are done on the remote sites, procedures to install, technical terms to use, people to speak to and so on. It’s the main challenge in the information age. There is too much information to understand, assess and internalize. All too often it is the influx of so much data that the brain shuts down. So one goes about trying artificial means to keep up with the pace such as indulging in too much food, drink and movies. Or one resorts to escape, looking for all sorts of distraction and drink to chill out and give the mind a momentary relief.


Probably this rush for information is the main cause of stress in today’s age. Yes that is the main culprit, to keep watching CNN, MSNBC, Fox Televisions; to know about the political news, the stock market, and investor news so one is up to date in conversation with your office folks. Or likely to know where to put your money, in the right area and keep updated in recent trends or otherwise some important news (like Lehman Brothers closing) will suddenly leave you penniless. So the constant drive to be informed and be able to react accordingly to any new information.


Conversely, your office mates schedule ‘secret sessions’ which keep the majority of the department clueless on what is going on. It is a way to keep failures hidden or any insecurities or doubts away from the criticizing masses. Otherwise, the ultimate fate is being the butt of jokes by the local David Letterman or Conan O’ Brian or Jay Leno on your perceived shortcomings. Watching your failures dissected in television is the worst fate that can befall politicians today. So the ‘secret session’ continues under cover of expediency and efficiency but really knowledge is kept within the cabal.

Sometimes one does penetrate the secrecy and get to participate in the sessions. But it is guarded like being under probation while your bona fides are checked and your character examined. This is how office cliques and cabals begin, where corporate knowledge is kept hidden and not managed. So one tries to get his information fix from the mainstream press; watching television shows like CNN to keep him in the know. Oftentimes it is the cabal that loses touch, assured in their own inbred reasoning. So those not part of the inner clique gets stressed out , trying to learn more and out smart the cabal and out flank the ‘secret sessions.’

On Nothing to Do

Getting bored is the main problem one faces in a laid back place. At least for one who come from Asia where there is a lot of stimulation and distraction? Unfortunately, one finds himself in this position and wonders how is it that people could survive without much to do. Sometimes there are a lot of meetings scheduled but not much accomplished except communicate and ask for comments. I guess that’s how things move around here. The circumstances remind me of our Japan office with its long serving salary men. Is it because life here lacks stimulation or is there really some virtue on drawing things out slowly so everything is analyzed and well-thought off without rushing to a conclusion.


Asia is all about speed, energy and creativity. It is not a matter of aggressive, innovative desire but only a matter of survival. The pace of action often happens at the bottom, low end scale where people scrape and hustle to get above the poverty line. On the other hand, the creativity and energy here comes from the privileged middle class, where dot com entrepreneurs innovate to make themselves millions before thirty. This is the situation in both sides of the world. Unfortunately, it rarely exists in the South where the pace is slow and leisurely and even exclusive. A new comer is faced with the prospect of slowing down his pace and relaxing. Hence, what does one do?


I guess like me, one surfs the Internet, constantly reads and attends meetings. Hence, it is a good environment to experience new things and learn new skills. It’s a conscious slowdown of the mind. One feels left out from the ‘slow’ swirl of things, where old cliques thrive and diversity is not respected. It is the constant dilemma of the newcomer. But don’t get me wrong. There are very intelligent people around and new developments in the city to make it look modern and progressive. But it is just the natural inclination of people to take things easy. As one calls New Orleans the ‘Big Easy’ it’s a fitting metaphor about life in the South. What are the skills needed to survive?

Sometime I feel that the key skill is shooting the breeze, talking with fellow workers and exchanging views. One also needs to relax and meet people more. I guess the country or more accurately, its society prefers the outgoing and outspoken. People like these are the heroes, as they often strive to be characters and try to make things that work. It’s the stereotype of the citizens here – the epitome of the cowboys of Western lore. Communicating constantly is the challenge and one should be open and straightforward to be able to be communicative at the level of the natives here. But one has too many secrets, preferring a hidden life in the shadows of abuse. This is the main roadblock to openness and should be controlled.

Different Thinking

Living in different countries allows one to understand the thought processes of the local people. Sometimes one would like to think like them to be able to assimilate faster or achieve better understanding. Sometimes a sense of chauvinism and bias arise which fools one into thinking that his logical reasoning is superior. It’s all hogwash because this is just plain bias or prejudice coming out of a sense of superiority. Eventually one realizes that the basic thinking process is actually the same. There is a similar logical progression of thoughts in most places. This theory I think was also written about in Carl Jung’s called synchronicity.


Eventually one realizes that differences in thoughts are due to the focus and attention that each culture indulges in. For example, a rich and materialistic culture would focus on the things while a religious culture would focus on the spirit. The different focus of these societies affects their perception of life. So the result is a seemingly different mode of thinking across cultures. But rather it’s just the peculiar bias or attention that one’s culture happens to focus on. The common reasoning mechanism is still there and applying a similar process will succeed across cultures. So the scientific method for example, is one mode of thought than can be shared across cultures as it’s just a tool for thinking.



The different focus or bias of each society will eventually change the way one thinks but not the universal principles. For example, saving or spending money has the same connotation everywhere. Fear and poverty is generally the same abstract concept everywhere. The degree of these concepts would be different based on the peculiar conditions existing in the society. Is it a rich culture or a poor culture? Hence, the perceptions and focus is different due to the different circumstances. Nevertheless, saving money for a rainy day is a universal concept that can be recognized anywhere. One would save whatever is the appropriate value in his or her society.


The main point is that everyone can think the same. It is just the momentary emphasis that each individual bring to the table. Some maybe focused on sports, sex, money, power or position. Wrong thinking patterns result once one loses track of perspectives and his own point of view becomes the true reality which all should follow. This is the problem that people face and I guess a balance viewpoint could insure that all facets are considered equally. One would think that this is what the Buddhist strives for. To have a balanced viewpoint that is not influenced by desires, fears or passions. Usually one is affected by what one sees in television or movies or even music.

Is life worth living without the normal emotions driven by fear, passion or desires? I guess this would be an ideal life. Perhaps cultures who have tried to achieve this goal may seem to have the best world. The Buddhist countries like Japan, Thailand or Sri Lanka for example, is the best place to nurture this type of thinking. I have never been to Sri Lanka but it’s true that living in Japan or Thailand can be the ideal home for a lot of people. Strangely, these are not easy places to live in at times and subject to chaos like any other country. But one could detect certain areas that seem conducive for people with ‘silent minds’.

Prose Stylist

A recent author is being heralded as the best American stylist living today. I wonder what the word means. Sometimes there are too many categories, distinctions and labels that one must be aware of in order to understand today’s vocabulary. Is this the result of the Aristotelian urge to organize knowledge into words? I guess it is meant to achieve preciseness and accuracy. Once one masters the vocabulary then one is considered erudite or articulate. Hence, its skill is the correct usage of the abstract. Soon it may result into a tower of Babel where the only solution is destruction in order to start all over again.



During the weekend I watched a French movie called ‘The Class’. I thought it would be a European version of those silly American movies about high school life. But it was a surprisingly new look at education. The students seem at times to be both smarter and stupid in the old world though perhaps more tolerant. Perhaps it’s just one of those silly stereotypes peddled by Hollywood wherein the local youth is more violent. The French movie was quite good though it lacked a proper ending. It won the best prize in Cannes File Festival. The main problem in the film is communication and the many words used or miss-used; that aid in erudition but fail in communication.


I am listening to Michael Chabon ‘Kavalier and Clay’. I just finished his book on Sherlock Homes ‘The Final Solution.’ This writer is widely praised and his works are very imaginative and creative. He reminds me of Isaac Beshevis Singer in some of his passages though I think I detect a lack of depth. He reminds me of Salman Rushdie in his inventiveness although without the flashy plots. He writes of strange genres which have a different twist. One detects his joy in writing similar to the feeling that one gets when reading Ernest Hemingway. Chabon has enormous talent but needs more years of life experience to write better and reach the maturity of Isaac Singer.

I like his book ‘Kavalier and Clay’ because it is about the comic book industry. This is required reading for fans of Marvel Comics and Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and the other legends. They seemed so advanced now that there are many movies now made from these comic books that started early in the last century. The movie versions are great like X-Men, Spider Man, Fantastic Four, Batman, and Superman and so on. It has taken so long for people to realize that these pioneers where really geniuses. The Japanese animie artist of course had historical roots in the drawings of the floating world which has again resurrected in the last century with Manga comics. Is this the literature of the new age?

First Year Club Meeting

Yesterday I was the meeting chairman in our club meeting. It was not the first time for me as I performed this role once or twice in the past in Singapore. But it was the first time for me here in the US. I was a bit apprehensive having looked at the prepared script to make sure I don’t forget anything. In Singapore, my tendency is always to follow the script and avoid straying from it. I tried to do the same here because it will keep my mind focused on the series of club activities. But it turned out to be much easier. One only needs to live in the moment and react positively to occurring events. My mind often strays so I had found it difficult in the past.


But this time I felt utter freedom in front of the club. It was like I could say anything I wanted, make any mistake, look like a fool and still be successful. It’s a feeling I never felt before in front of an audience. It’s like I am accepted for whom I am and don’t need to pretend which I appear to do when strictly following the script. The feeling was that I could throw away the script and just be myself. I even cracked a joke which I rehearsed beforehand. But I was able to spontaneously introduce the joke during a lull in the proceeding. Most of the club members said I did a good job; it was ‘workman’ like in its manner as one said. This comment I appreciated because I could not pretend to be relaxed and enjoying my task as host; at least not yet.



I think the local atmosphere here is more open and allows one to be oneself. Everyone is free to express anything he likes although to a certain extent. After all one must be within the bounds of decency which I am often tempted to cross. Happily it feels very conducive to express oneself. I guess it’s the way people are raised or taught when young. On the other hand, I feel that I have been raised to be repressed and secretive with regards to communication and expressing myself. One can guess that it has affected one’s self esteem as well. I am not sure if it’s biological because of recent discoveries of a shyness gene in DNA studies.

This ‘psychological opening’ with regards to expressing oneself and communicating with others should be useful for a writer. Development means a holistic growth in terms of meeting with others and having a healthy sense of expressing oneself; in other words having healthy interactions in common society. This would help in the ‘abstract’ work of communicating by words. I guess writer’s workshops can provide this type of outlet or meeting with other writers or reporters. Still the point is to achieve a sort of basic confidence that will ease the writing of words and creation. For others this maybe taken for granted if one comes from a healthy environment that stimulates this normal sort of growth.

In the scheme of things, it’s really a small matter in a writer’s growth though a needed foundation to move forward. I can say that it is only now that my mind seems to be wide awake during these meeting. There seemed to be many thoughts in my brain in the past that kept me from being in the moment. Maybe it is the straight forwardness, openness and lack of guile in the people here. I am currently listening to Michael Chabon’s works and he writes with such openness that it represents everything that I have experienced here recently. One gets the feeling that anything is possible.

West Coast and the South East

Comparing life in the Carolinas with life in California is like looking at 2 different worlds. California seems like a whole new country than a state in the Union. One state seems to aspire towards societal order; heritage and family ties while the other state to disruption, creativity and self expression. But the story is not that simple. After all, the Carolinas is also about historical rebelliousness and state rights. Some traces still exist in today’s political life in the South. So there are more similarities than meets the eye as more modern high tech cities are also growing in the South East.


One thing is certain though are the diversity of the West Coast. The diverse ethnicity is immediately noticeable. The Pacific Ocean is the gateway to the East so there are modern ‘refugees’ from Asia spilling across the waters. The Spanish influence is still there with more people spilling over the border. In fact Los Angeles in the weekend is still a Mexican city. On the other hand, the Atlantic Ocean brings over the old world of Europe. One could see the European ethnicity that is more prevalent here although there is an Asian presence which is more Vietnamese, Indian, Chinese and Filipino. The common element in both states is the Latin American presence though at a lesser extent in the South.


Perception seems to indicate that one state is still based on the aristocracy of blood or family ties while the other on the aristocracy of talent and meritocracy. Perceptions can be wrong though one cannot forget history. California is more a boom and bust town with the gold rush, Silicon Valley, earth quakes, the dot com boom and so on. It is also home to one of the more promising writers today: Michael Chabon. One could understand the state through their writers with Thomas Wolfe and William Faulkner for the South and Jack London and John Steinbeck for the West Coast.

An interesting writer for the West is Jack Kerouac. I guess he started the stream of consciousness type of writing that I have yet to read. One would easily mistake Hemingway as having done that type of writing due to his seemingly effortless prose but I know a lot of hard work has gone into his books. It’s this mistaken impression that led me into a wrong path thinking that I could ‘wing it’ in a stream of consciousness mode ala James Joyce in ‘Ulysses’. But the craft of writing is lost and not taken into account. One has stayed too long in this mode of working and finally realizes the mistake.

In the spirit of California, one is endlessly trying to reinvent and discover one’s true self. The place if filled with institutes espousing some new and old theories like Eastern meditation, yoga and so on. For instance, driving along Big Sur, we passed the Eselen Institute – the retreat of the rich and famous baby boomers. There is this prevailing longing for the next best thing – whether in self discovery, software or film. This is the attraction of California and in it’s spirit one tries to be a writer.

I guess my method is more holistic due to my procrastination or misunderstanding than anything else. The illusion of the stream of consciousness method of Jack Kerouac and the seemingly effortless prose of James Joyce and Hemingway made me a poorer writer. Lately I just finished reading Robert Wolf’s ‘Jump Start’ which aims to make writers out of homeless or out of work people. It’s an interesting concept to learn from. One can learn by reading about the many methodologies out there such as the ‘snow flake method’, the ‘hero of the thousand faces’ theory of Joseph Campbell and so on. I guess my old path is more like journal writing – reading – reflecting – speaking methodology as a more holistic approach of development was aspired to.

One will not get very far from the stream of consciousness writing. One is more on the Kerouac method than one realizes but lack the special talent to achieve concrete results. One has realized that it’s more mental constancy and loss of interest or lack the commitment or conviction that is the culprit. The writing craft is still missing and the many reading one has done in the past 2 years should be enough to fashion out a working craft or methodology. At the end of the day, it is the spirit of California that inspires one to move forward.

California Vacation

We spent two weeks in lovely California – split between Los Angeles and San Francisco. My boss said it’s the land of fruit and nuts (meaning ‘wackos’). My memories are of the Palm Beach Mountains where we played in the snow, riding sleds and going up and down the tramway. It was a good holiday to meet relatives after not seeing them for so long. My wife and kids finally got to meet the folks. It’s the 5th biggest economy in the world as someone has said and one just see it in the labyrinth highways crisscrossing the state. Most Californians seem to drive 2 to 4 hours everyday to and from work.


Listening to Hunter Thompson book ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’ seems an apt thing to do while driving down the Pacific Coast highway from San Francisco to Los Angeles. It was a hair raising drive along the wind swept cliff hugging roads and seeing the beautiful houses in the hills, hidden back in the mountains of Big Sur and always the waves lapping the white beaches seen in the great cliffs of the coast. I was reminded of some pictures I have seen about the English coast with stretches of desolate beaches amides the winds and surf. Someday I hope to live there possible somewhere in Monterrey like Carmel by the Sea.


Thompson’s book reeks of the craziness brought about by drugs, alcohol and a hedonistic lifestyle. Brilliantly creative and destructive all at once seem to caricature the Californian lifestyle. The boom and bust cycles reverberate where the rich in Orange County declare bankruptcy and with the economy strong enough to stand with the likes of China and Japan but strangely in the brink of insolvency. It’s a wild ride with superstars in Hollywood and first rate museums and well known writers like John Steinbeck and Jack London living side by side in lore. Also, perhaps of F. Scott Fitzgerald drinking himself to oblivion while writing screenplays for the movie studios after losing his talent many years ago.

California is the future as some say with the aggressive citizenry and state’s rights, with people voting for gay rights, capping local county taxes, selling marijuana and with a governor straight out of Hollywood. It’s like creativity is naturally in the air. Going to the Getty Museum up in the Santa Monica hills without paying a cent (except for parking) and looking at the incredible displays is something that one cannot do anywhere in the world. Ah to live in California with all its hectic living, diversity in races and diversity in natural resources seems like a dream. Hopefully, these can be yearly visits where we can spend the Christmas season with relatives and enjoy the freedom to exist in one of the interesting states in the union.