March Whirlwind

The project I am working on as analyst changed project managers; the 3rd PM in less than a year. This situation places stress as I am the only one left in the systems side who was involved at the start. The co- manager in IBM has also changed; 2 managers in less than a year. There will be changes soon on the business side as well in the consultant side where significant members will also be leaving the project. We are expected to go live next month which further puts pressure on everyone. This has be a difficult project for me at the start with the first project leader being aggressive and ruthless to her own team; further abetted by her reliance on outside analysts who have worked with her in the past. The old guard who has been around the local office longer has continued their criticism via an email war. But I am used to this pressure and I am possibly the oldest among the team being with the company for more than a decade. One has to send blistering emails to stand their ground.

Admittedly I am new to the technology used in this project but this situation has not stopped me before. My usual strategy is to move forward while learning on the go until one gets the experience and knowledge along the way and hopefully achieves passable expertise at the point when the expertise is needed; sometime close to testing and go live, some months down the road; a strategy that has always served me well in the past, at work and in my life. The players are all new and heavy hitters, so the pressure is more intense and being new in the local office, one needs to shine and show their talent. I was more like a wanderer assigned a small but significant project in my first three years since moving from Asia; a high profile project where a few veterans may have expected failure but had managed to squeeze out some victory plus a fair amount of success despite the continuing problems. But I had moved beyond this point, developing some reputation which I need to build on by working on new projects.

A smaller project as the manager has gone live last December and closing out soon, a minor achievement that little by little adds to one’s repertoire. But the true challenge is this ongoing undertaking where 10 factories will be impacted, not an issue for me as the first troublesome mission entailed 7 warehouses. One has shown that deployment is not difficult in this place where delays are the norm and where confusion and self-inflicted disasters are occurring. The strategy is to lie low, learn and perform like a Zen master, moving quietly like the wind. This technique can be called the ‘crouching tiger, hidden dragon’ tactic. How one misses Asia as the 4 years in this new place has made me see the boring dullness but nevertheless refreshing provincial hometown feel away from the hustle and bustle of the big a cities one has been used to: Manila, Singapore, Bangkok, Shanghai, Shenyang and Tokyo. Today, the small project crossed a major milestone that signals it’s end, whereas the current project is a mess three weeks from the planned go live.

  

Pilot Week

Another hectic week similar to those days in Asia. The only difference is that I have clarity of mind or awareness that I did not have back then. Maybe it is because everything is above board here and one has to express himself to be understood. In certain ways one is left alone in Asia to do one’s thing and one move forward with just a blind determination to succeed. There are also a lot of distractions that one can remove the stress of the day. No such distractions here except television or internet and a few cocktails while watching movies.  In Asia there is a floating world where one can lose himself and time seems to float by in a sensuous dream. No such indulgence in the Bible belt especially in the cold winter. One cannot escape the daily grind except live with it.

One notices that sleep is important here. Somehow in Asia one can go by the day even with less sleep. Somehow the floating world of indulgence can rest the mind. My morning Tai Chi serves as a way to focus due to the many diversion. In the West it is more of a way to focus the mind to prevent one from going insane. The reason is that without distractions, one cannot help but focus on the issue: write emails, discuss over the phone and so on. One does not have the opportunity to walk out during lunch time and choose the best place to eat with all the multitude of Asian choices. Here one stays in his cubicle, eating a sandwich or some snack to get by. After work one can go to the gym or directly home unlike in the East where one has many choices to indulge in.

A pilot run was scheduled this Friday which was again postponed. I was driving the charge and seem that I struck out again. The first was in Nevada and now here in home court. But I see no way forward except to gamble on a chance. It may seem reckless and I sometime doubt myself as well. I have taken a role which is not mine to take due to a vacuum.  But there is no way that I could lay back and rest because it will delay the project. So following the grand tradition of charging forward with out looking, I have gone ahead leading while others try to stop me or follow my lead. Now in the dregs of near failure and disaster, I see that others are laughing behind my back wondering why the project is taking nearly 2 years to finish. But again there is movement and the weekend will cool down nerves and one can see the full picture again.

One is faced with many issues but one has to move forward, calling the help desk, raising tickets, talking to every man and his dog, writing emails and trying to get things done. One is in a blur but it is the clear thought of someone with experience. Speaking with smart people from India, programmers from Ohio, experienced office workers, talking with the top dogs to make your voice heard. Strangely I sometime miss my morning Tai chi exercises which I rarely miss while in the East. Nevertheless I do not feel stressed as before which was more a blind dread of the future. Now all seems clear and the path is open perhaps due to the logical, linear thinking of the West as compared to the Eastern thinking where all things are linked and anything can happen. In the West, there seems to be a feeling of inevitability, like things moving forward as it should.

I guess it has been a wonderful week despite the failure of the pilot. In fact one would think that issues have been found during the testing. It is better to see the problems now than when it is in production. It is the thinking mind that brings people to grief, forever churning in the dark without external diversion, where dark thoughts arise. It is only through sleep and mediation that one can avoid the fate of insanity or cognitive decline. But despite the pressure and stress I think I have crossed a milestone and risen above the fray with self control, humor and insight that one has experienced this before and one would survive by keeping one’s nerve.