Bitter Episode

I still get flashes of anger when I recall those events when my supervisor and her boss ganged up on me and wanted to get rid of me, going so far by reporting my so-called lapses to the Vice-President. The fact that my supervisor is my so-called friend make the event more a betrayal and perhaps driven by jealousy. I give excuses for her behavior thinking that her boss who is narcissistic and ambitious despite not having good management abilities to her credit.

I never felt this hatred perhaps driven by pressure from the business but that should not have made them do what they did but instead focused on how I can improve. It was a meeting of fools where everyone was not up to the task; instead looking for a scapegoat and going against the weak link down the totem pole. I survived by calling a representative from personal so she could represent me and provide a balance picture since no one was in my side.

The Vice-President eventually came to my side by assigning me to another department and brought a welcome change to my career as I approach retirement. I ended up in a good team where I could thrive and grow instead of being the that cesspool where people were looking for faults and scapegoats. I remember these moments because I still see my so-called friend (actually my wife's friend) as we see each other socially with my other friends.

I still lurk into this vindictive phase where I look for failures in my former department, trying to prove my story that I was not at fault and the charge against me was malicious. I have been with the company for 30 years and deserved better with more respect. I have let bygones be bygone, conversing with the platform boos whenever I see her, now that she has moved to another post at a higher level, and a new platform manager from Europe has taken over.

The fact is that I went up a rank since my boss report directly to the Vice-President and I feel that the VP is on my side being an enlightened manager when compared to my former supervisor and her boss. My 'friend' still remains in her post and recently her platform has gone through another reorganization which shows the turmoil never ends in their area; with a domain manager missing from work where no one knows what happened to him.

What drives me nuts is that my 'friend' acts like nothing she did was wrong, living life like a princess with delusions or aspirations in her mind; living her life through her daughter. I envy her lack of self-awareness whereas I overthink and drive myself to anxiety and stress. But I am in a better place now, having survived the shameful episode though images of them both shouting at me like 'banshees' though it was more of the platform boss who I see now and again in the corridor and exchange pleasantries.       

I close friend retired recently and I still see hear as we are both members in a civic organization that meets weekly. She also had bad incidents I believe calling the former platform head as being narcissistic. I think she also does not respect our former supervisor who thinks she is a cut above the rest when I believe she was elevated to her position to met diversity requirements. She does have good luck which makes me resent her all the more when I should not. I am in a good place and should be glad of it. 

Remaining bitter and vengeful of past events where I was not respected and was abused (whether imagined or not) is not a good place to be. I cannot remain normal during social gathering when I still remember these events when I should let go (her phrase). I determined that she is not a good person, perhaps with a streak of meanness that she hides under clever remarks and a pretty exterior. She is smart, diligent and competent but there is a snake living inside her soul.