Davos for the Poor

Most of the newscasts have sections on the meeting at Davos where the powerful and wealthy meet to discuss today's problems. So people like me wait with bated breath as the reporters interview the mighty on their opinions on the global crisis and the stimulus packages. China and Russia found an opportunity to resurrect their old alliance and criticize the United States. In the meantime, the news are filled with job losses all over the world. For some people who are not affected yet, they wait anxiously for the ax to fall down on them.

The Davos meetings is a good idea I guess where most people get to meet in an informal setting and discuss the world's problem. Perhaps this is a better opportunity to coordinate and plan actions than in other venues. But maybe just a gossip mill where everyone can churn out opinions and maybe even cause some problems if followed by the wrong people. For instance, a well known personality called Dr.Doom was vehemently against the recently approved US stimulus package. On the other, other speakers have given a qualified approval of the plan. But it seems to me that they are pundits who are playing arm chair foot ball.

I guess it is significant that no senior official from the US government seem you have attended. Perhaps they have wisely decided to focus on the issue and push the approval by the Congress. Now that that's done, some form of hope and optimism can arise in most people. Again the news from some stations are against the good bank, bad bank plan and again provided by people who make their living being naysayers. It's like a reporter criticizing the decisions of a wise and respected government official who remarks that if the reporter has had more actual experience administrating or managing a country, then he would listen. Hence, we do not see the whole picture so need to be careful when criticising.

In the meantime, the common folks like us need to wait for the outcome of the decisions and maybe some wise pronouncement from Davos. It's like we are waiting for the decisions on our future. Can ordinary folks like us have a so-called Davos of the poor? It would not be staged in some posh location like Switzerland and can only happen in the Internet. Technology like social networking or concepts like crowd sourcing may be applied to create a virtual Davos for everyman who can participate and provide their views. Hopefully this can lead to good ideas and a venue that will allow people to meet in a virtual Davos in something like a Second Life environment.

In today's age, this idea may not be far off. With today's technology I think people are also are more aggressive in promoting these type of venues that democratize or allow for every one to participate. Hopefully this can lead to better solutions and plans in the future where everyone's opinion can be shared and help shape decisions. Perhaps this may be the new struggle that will replace the old Marxist class struggle that happened in the past. Mainly, a struggle to allow for more participation to global decision making using the latest technology. Resistance may come from those who wish to attain the exclusive situation where powerful elites prefer the status quo.

Reading Like a Writer

I am listening to Francine Prose's audio book 'Reading Like A Writer.' The book is more a literature appreciation course although it gives good insights on novel writing. She praises a few authors notably Anton Chekhov. I am looking for audio books in the library but find that a lot of movies have been made from his stories. I think I will borrow some of them to learn of his work. I have relied more on listening to books and watching videos or movies to learn more of the craft of writing. I think is it a much better and faster way to learn than just by reading. But I think Francine Prose's book is more for book lovers than writers and too much detail for me.

I am amazed at the amount of free information available in the Internet. I could learn just about anything and supplemented with book reading from the library is a very cost effective way to grow and develop. The skill needed is to be able to navigate this new world. I think Google has a step up with the types of tools it offers free to the public. It seems that Google is the only company not affected by the recession. In fact, after logging into the Internet this morning, the site I always often use are: Google, Yahoo and CNN. Of course, I also used side tools to organize my thinking by using Mind Mapping, Notes and Delicious to store web links. It's a much different world today than just a few years back.

This morning I read an article in an UCLA magazine that the world is getting more visual and losing it's critical and analytical skills. According to the study, more people are not reading or writing but watching videos, television and movies, playing games and surfing the Internet. So tools like mind mapping are getting popular to organize thoughts instead of say writing or even conversing with other people. The study proposes to change school tests to accommodate this trend. I guess the new medium is also increasing the amount of information streaming towards the individual and mind mapping becomes an important tool just to survive.

After looking at the blogs from the Philippines, I am struck by their focus and content. Of course these are the top blogs based on number of hits so they have unique and skilled authors mostly photographers or designers. Compared to my efforts I am self-absorbed and indulgent. The blogs are a good challenge for me to improve and I noticed that blogs these days focus on photography than any other subjects. Again it's the visual trend these days to offer a clear and unambiguous record to the public. No more internal thoughts or sub texts although the composition of a photograph does provide some internal design and thought. But like myself, I prefer to keep things simple and avoids lot of hand wringing.

It's a work day today but I did not feel like going to work. Instead I will try to write a few mails and maybe make a few calls. The hospital gave me a medical leave or certificate that allows me to stay home until the 31st of January. But I think I should try to go to work and do some of the stuff there especially the meeting. I know it is fuzzy thinking again but I always think that the company is looking to get rid of people especially during the recession. So I think I have to do some work before these things get delayed. I feel I am getting more organized with less tolerance for triviality after my accident. I guess pain has a way of shaking people into their senses.

Medical Leave

I have been on medical leave for more than a week. The past 2 days don't count because it's the Chinese New Year holidays. I have been watching movies and in the past 2 days, walking in the park with my wife. We visited my friend in the hospital last Sunday. He is fine and gives me hope that things will turn out well. I have problems sleeping because of the splint in my arm. I can't find a good position so I keep on moving in the bed. But not too much to keep my wife awake. The past days have been a welcome break though I often think about the things I have to do at work.

I will go to work on Thursday. I have a meeting that day with the team from Europe. I know I should relax but I keep thinking that I have responsibilities to do. Nevertheless I did not check my mail today although I think I have to tomorrow morning. Today I spent a lot of time looking at blogs written by my country men. I like the photography blogs and added their links to my other blog. I have also been looking at You Tube and the other tools from Google like Sites and Notes. I think it provides a good platform for me to work together with their other tools like Documents and Calendar. I think I can have consistent strategy in using these tools. Their web strategy is more consistent than Microsoft.

I also update the Toastmaster blog the other day. I think I may have a large presence in the Internet with pages in Face book, Linked In, etc. But I guess that is the trend today. In fact I realize that I spend more time in user created sites like blogs and You Tube and other social networking sites than the established media like CNN. In fact most of the information I need do not come from established sites but sites like wikis and other public domain. I was looking for a file and I found it despite it's elicit quality. There is too much information out there that the need for a filter like Google is getting to be very important.

I have been thinking deeply about my life these past days after my accident. I have also been listening to Obama's recent speeches after his inauguration. I was stuck by a statement quoted from the Bible that stated that 'the time for childish things is past'. I don't remember if Obama quoted this statement or what but it gave me some thought. I realized that for me to change my life I need to change my values. This is the only way for me to move forward. The first step is to admit my addiction and actively fights it's allure. Yes the time for childish things is past. I also don't feel my usual tolerance for foolishness and I get irritated or bored if I keep doing these things.

These past days while working at home with my computer I was able to increase my technical competence. For instance I was able to connect to the Internet with my work computer. The reason I could now do this is that I have lost the 'chatter' in my head. I think it came away while I was in the hospital waiting from my operation. If I allowed the 'chatter' to get to me, I would have been shouting hysterically. But somehow I kept my calm, settling my mind long enough for the sedative to take affect. The delay of 3 days also allowed me to force a calmness and resolve to patiently wait for the operation. I guess painful accidents like these help me be more mature. I just wished it happend earlier in my life.

Roller Blading Mishap

I broke my wrist last weekend. The Saturday started well enough with a bright morning and I skated around the park as usual. Sometime after my 3rd or 4th circle around the lake, I hit a twig that caused me to fall. I stayed in the hospital for nearly 5 days. I was operated on my 4th day and the doctor's placed a steel plate below my wrist. For 4 nights I stayed at a ward where the doctors decided when to operate on me. They wanted the swelling to subside before they could operate. So I stayed in bed with my left arm on a sling as I waited for the swelling to subside, played Solitaire in my phone, read magazines and slept. Mostly slept because I was tired and drawn out because of the accident.

It was my first operation and my close friend also had his heart operation scheduled last Monday. My operation was done on Wednesday. Of course my injury is trivial compared to him. But lying in the hospital bed, looking at the other patients, I felt the loneliness and vulnerability that one inevitably feels, waiting for doctors, the medicines they stick into your veins and the operation that will hopefully fix you. The patient beside me was a young boy who was strapped to his bed. He seemed to be having seizures and recently had a brain operation which I deduced as I saw a scar across his skull. There was always a member of his family with him. Usually, a grandmother in the mornings followed by the father, mother or sister as they come from work or school. But he was never alone.

Young nurses would come in the morning from the nursing college, rushing through the ward, talking and gossiping. They would come to replace the sheets in our beds or help the patients take their morning bath. Some nurses would help me wrap a plastic bag in my arm to protect it from getting wet as I took a shower. I usually take a bath and brush my teeth at dawn before 7 am before the doctors make their rounds. It was uplifting to wake up in the morning and to see so many young nurses busying themselves and trying to make the patients feel better. I now understand the novels I read about war and the nurses helping the wounded (or foolish like me). The hospital was very clean and I like the hot water in the showers in the morning.

During the days I was in the hospital, I was often sending text messages to my friends and colleagues. Mostly to tell them that I will be missing the Monday morning meeting or asking them to tell others I won't be attending an event or inquiring about my friends condition after his operation. There were times when I felt that fate is something that one cannot predict. I prayed that my friend and I will leave the hospital well and meet each other again. Possibly to have dinner in Chinatown like we usually do. I wondered if my accident was telling me something. That I should stop doing this silly things and focus on more serious matters. During those nights at the hospital ward I had a lot of time to think and play Solitaire.

Be Authentic

The very first application support issue has surfaced last Tuesday. It still hasn't been fixed. It has been four days (with a holiday in India last Wednesday) and still the problem is still there. I have been on the phone with the outsource staff. I am in a worst situation than I can ever imagine. Both the Thai customer and Indian support staff are new in the job. They both were discussing endlessly today with nothing getting done. They are both waiting for some solution to miraculously happen. I realize that I have had an excellent team in the past who were motivated and technically competent to resolve application problems. Now I am back to square one in trying to build a new team.

Earlier I could not help them because I had a meeting this afternoon. I also had to write a few important emails; one to the boss man which was the minutes of yesterday's meeting. I also took some time to write another mail explaining a budget overrun for a project. Not a large amount; in fact a very trifling amount compared with other projects. The variance is equivalent to one month's salary of some of the people here. So I dashed out a few mails, called the outsource team to try and direct them to the proper direction and continue with my work. At the same time trying to monitor the situation via chat.

It's nearly 8pm and still no word. In this scenario, with new people trying to solve complex problems, it's a nightmare. I have no choice but to lead and supervise. My lady boss also gave me some tips. It's her last day in the office as she's moving to Shanghai on Sunday. I realize from her stories that she has more problems than me. The many application she handles has more issues. So she needs to coordinate with more staff as well. In this situation, we both have to use email, chat and phone calls to the staff in India to direct, motivate, guide and support them to solve the issue. What a mess. Life is truly getting to be difficult.

This morning I was thinking on why it takes a lot of effort for me to express myself in front of other people. Even when writing emails. I realize that I have a persona to maintain - to speak or write competently or in a manner that is not foolish. So I am not relaxed or being true myself but playing a role. Then there was this sentence flashing in my mind - BE AUTHENTIC like some magical mantra leading me to salvation. So being authentic is the goal and ultimate new years resolution. I have been trying to lead myself towards many directions - trying to be a good investor like Warren Buffet, trying to be a great writer, trying to be a golfer, trying to be a sophisticated traveller who appreciate art and literature. Hence a snob.

So not meeting this many desires has frustrated me. So I try to live up to delusions in my life as well as succumbing to temptations. So I end up being mixed up when I really should be authentic. My good friend always told me that I should be authentic and I never could understand what he was talking about. I then realized what he was saying this morning. I had an epiphany. I knew that being authentic means having a relaxed down to earth personality, no more desire to be someone else. No need to borrow so many books, go to different places and watch so many movies in order to be someone else. Being authentic means looking into yourself and determining who you really are and just be it.

Early Morning Meeting

I had an early morning meeting with the my old nemesis - the boss man. The project office head was sick so she called me and said to proceed with the meeting. So I went with the new support staff from our Indian outsource. The boss man was his usual self, challenging us to improve the report. So I spent most of the time defending the reports that we presented. We were a shooting target because he just came and attacked all the format we presented. All the points mentioned were good but I think that we always spend more time arguing about the formats. But with the impending transfer, my days reporting on the system status are few. I hope the new team will not be stressed to much with the boss man.

A couple of days ago, my dear friend told me that he needs heart surgery to remove a benign tumour. I was shocked and could not respond much. He is five years younger than me but he is brave and seems unconcerned about the coming operation. The doctors say that stress maybe the likely cause. I also have a few colleagues who have ailments attributable to stress. This got me thinking that I should not stress my kids to much. The grades of my youngest son depressed him and I think he felt some form of stress. It seems a fact of life here that people are stressed to keep up with the demands of life and work. I am glad to be moving to a more laid back atmosphere and hope that it will be less demanding for my family.

I told my other colleague whose sister has chronic kidney failure to explore alternative medicine. It is easy for me to say as I am not affected. But to look at a future with a dialysis machine is not much of a future as well. But being exposed to traditional Chinese medicine and other alternative forms of medication in Asia give me more confidence in proposing this action. In fact the only way to stay healthy is to exercise everyday. Every morning I bike or walk in the nearby park or use my rowing machine for about 15 to 20 minutes everyday. I also stopped smoking, drink lots of liquids and handle stress by blogging and Tai Chi and, of course, exercise. It's the only way to survive these days rather than just dropping dead of stroke or cardiac arrest as some young people are wont to do recently.

So this brings me back to the boss man and my son. I should not react negatively with stress after meeting with the boss man. I should also avoid stressing my kids with high expectations though I should gently challenge them to be better. I also should not take the load or problems in my work. There is always a procedure and an elevation process. The support team in India should get most of the load. Yesterday, there was a call from Thailand of the other system that we just deployed. It had a problem uploading files. Usually I would be stressed and focus on the issue until it is resolved. But with so many things to do, I did not pay too much attention. So I just wrote an e-mail to the support team to look into the problem.

I guess another thing that I should adjust to is my age. I am not a doddering old man yet but I guess I can no longer do the things that I used to do in the past. My tolerance to stress is not as great as before. So I should be smart and learn to pass problems to the appropriate channel. I should also respect myself and try to go home early instead of staying late to resolve issues. There is always another day to work on the problem. Another thing as mentioned by my brother is not to bring my work problems home. I am guilty of this habit sometimes though I do not shout or get angry when I get home. Usually I am just silent and a bit surly with my family, neglecting them and looking for my own distraction like reading books or Internet. I guess with age come self-awareness to hopefully improve oneself.

Boss Moving to China

My immediate boss is leaving for China this week. Afterwards we will be reporting to the Asia regional head though functionally we are still under my boss in China. We spoke last night before I left the office and she offered me some tips. Late last night she sent an SMS informing me of the new person she hired in Shanghai to help me on my projects. Eventually he will take over once I transfer to my new assignment. I am thinking of writing to my new bosses to follow-up on the offer now that things are moving along here to replace me. I feel embarrassed sometimes and think that I should wait. But I really need to have more visibility because it affects my kids.

When I got home last night, my wife told me that my youngest can enroll in a diploma course as he does not need to repeat his secondary year. I am glad that he can do so because it will be more motivating for him to study in a new place. I don't need to spend a lot for polytechnic nor junior college which is more expensive than this diploma course. Basically he will be entering the level 11, I think when we move over. I am reading some articles on education in Newsweek and seems that it's starting to be a big business. With globalization and the complexity of modern business, more schools are focusing on improving their curriculum. Some are focusing on multi-disciplinary work as well some subjects on culture, art and design.

I hope that I can give my kids a multi-cultural and multi-geographical educational experience. Even if the schools they enter are not the greatest, at least the experience will give them a more well-rounded education. I think I need to support for another 7 to 10 years before they graduate with a degree that they are confident in. I also tried to assess my education and experience these past years after reading all these literature on the current state of schools. Countries in the Middle East and Asia are spending a lot of money to improve their schools and all these turmoil in economics highlight the complexity and, really, inability of current managers to adapt to the new realities. Some articles are calling this debacle the first global crisis of the Internet age - in fact even caused by the Internet as it also speeds up complexity which current managers are unable to control.

I think that is the key for tomorrow. To be multi-cultural, multi-disciplined and mobile. Tomorrow's worker need to be familiar with all sorts of knowledge and skills with soft skills like communication and leadership are being highligthed. Maybe today's world and complexity push people to try to expand themselves because they seem to be inadequate in today's world. Most people pretend that they know and get into trouble. Unlike Warren Buffet who avoids investing in derivatives and credit default swaps for example, he honestly admits that he does not understand them. Others think they understand and invest but soon lose their shirts once events move faster than they can respond.

I find myself in this situation as well. Investing in things which I thought I understood but now I have a paper loss in my stock investments. But not as terrible as others maybe as Iam willing to wait for the long term until the market improves. The situation that is getting more complex is in today's environment where our outsource support team resides in Hyderabad -India and Shenzhen - China, my boss in Shanghai with users in Thailand and Shenyang - China. Add to the mix the new process where everything is logged into a system with tickets and people responding to issues electronically. So communication is now via chat, SMS and email whereas I prefer verbal discussions by phone or face to face.

I realize that I am overwhelmed and try to escape by blogging. Or at least to write down my thought so I can settle my mind into calm.