On Being A Professional

I had the chance to attend several web trainings last week. The courses I attended were Digital Marketing, Hybrid Project Management, and SAFe or Scaled Agile Framework. So much I did not know especially about SAFe despite being practiced in the company. I thought I knew what was going on but in fact, I was just winging it in my ignorance; based on a vague understanding of what was going on. It's more of the experience gained which I don't consciously recognize due to my predilection to having a 'beginners' mind all the time.

A beginner's mind is always good but needs to consider the skills and experience already gained with the many years at work. Similar to the way I play golf; still have that imposter's feeling of being a beginner and having all the techniques and stances and swing rules in the playing fields when one needs to throw that away and just 'feel' the game. This is how one graduates from being a perpetual amateur and into being an old hand. Lessons do help obviously but one needs to incorporate confidence by having faith and playing the game with one's natural 'feeling' and wits.

"Feeling" in golf means to chunk away the lessons in the mind but just go about playing with what feels right which is gained from many years of effort. I have been playing golf for more than 20 years and I should recognize that and not go back to being an amateur in my mental space. Similar to novel writing, I do not have the confidence to just write but instead, go back to the lessons and buy all sorts of webinars to continue my learning when I have read and write since my youth. This experience already entitles me to a certain confidence that should allow me to move ahead.

Instead, I continue to attend trainings to keep me updated when I am already ahead. For instance, when I already know a particular subject, I persist in borrowing all the books about the topic and submerging myself into the subject until I am an expert. Such efforts are actually useless and only an indulgence. Of course, at work, I do have to earn units regularly to keep my certification as a professional project manager. There is so much new technology or knowledge to learn that one is perpetually a student.

Last week, I presented an update on my project and introduced a metric that the domain managers liked. This output came out of my experience and not from any training. I have been a PM for 19 years and have been with the company for 29 years. I have many decades of experience in golf, reading and writing,  biking, swimming, and being a Toastmaster. This background qualifies me to evolve into a confident golfer, a successful novelist, and a professional manager. Banish my doubts and feelings of being an imposter and being a perpetual amatuer.

Rage Against Boredom

 There was not much to do last week except procrastinate; surfing the internet with my cellphone while monitoring group chats or emails in case something came up or someone reached out to me. Unfortunately, it was another mostly quiet week with myself holding out from contacting people who are involved in my project to avoid being a nuisance since I am the new person in the team - the project leader no less as if parachuted by the management team, right into the melee to lead.

This decision should be thrilling to inspire trust and confidence, but in the end, it is the long relationship and string of projects I worked on for several decades. I looked back at the stuff I worked in and was amazed at the stuff I did to keep things organized: spreadsheets, emails and what have you. Is that me? I wonder in amazement as if discovering a side of myself that I never realized as if the actions of a different person. Is that the reality of being middle-aged?  I want to look back and see a different person, a much younger and more vigorous one.

I know how Joe Biden feels, to be a different person in one's old age, no longer the same person he was but nonetheless still competent and effective though perhaps at a slower pace. There are no shortcomings in cognition or ability but a different way of working; perhaps a bit jaded and cynical after all those years of hard work and drive during the younger years. Perhaps the late nights, the alcohol, and the indulgence finally make their mark.

One needs a project to engage one's attention instead of the constant web surfing in the bottomless pit of the smartphone. Perhaps learning more about AI is the subject to beat. It might even be a survival path to retain one's younger drive by having help from AI. It's all about attention and how one can still be relevant by focusing on a subject. How about learning a new language like French or playing a musical instrument?

This is the real reason why experts suggest the elderly learn new skills. To preserve one's attention and cognition by being engaged. The workplace will never provide this avenue since it's about politics and emotional intelligence, accepting neurodiversity, and whatnot. Not a bad avenue as it also paths of learning and awareness but not provide the drive and passion that one would need to be authentic and relevant.     

MetaCognition

Last week I attended several seminars and webinars on generative artificial intelligence (AI), and productivity tips in MS365 plus read several articles on improving work and assorted blogs on various topics about D-Day, reflections on Japan, and so on. I particularly like Adam Tooze's blog and other less well-known ones offering multiple takes on current events, especially on politics and culture. I find that these blogs offer a deeper perspective on their subject matter than is usually done in the mainstream media.

Oftentimes there is an alternative narrative that exists in all topics as clearly seen in politics and discerning the truth is not straightforward. My recent trip to St. Agustine for example expressed the narrative that the first European settlement in North America was initiated by the Spanish with their conquistadors and Catholic emissaries way before the arrival of the English and Protestants in Boston, Massachusetts. The English version is the prevailing narrative especially here in South Carolina following the Anglo version which the Florida story debunks and seems the more factual.

This alternative take on events exists everywhere especially in the workplace though on more mundane topics, even between friends that one must be fluid in one's outlook instead of having a fixed point of view. Fluid intelligence or being open and adaptable in mindset rather than fixed and using one's learning may not be enough. I find this is an important skill for me especially when one has changed departments, working with new people, and adapting to new conditions. Being middle-aged adds to this problem since one has already accumulated decades of experience that may no longer be relevant to today's world.

I have been meditating and doing Tai Chi for some time but mindfulness is not the full solution to cognition though this exercise does address attention and focus. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) helps correct patterns of thought but Metacognition is the more relevant skill in today's world of multiple narratives. Cognition and or understanding of one's thinking will lower stress as makes one more adaptable to recognize the 'new' instead of sticking with the 'old'.

In my recent change at work, I see that my former ways of thinking, of being cock sure of reality is not a good attitude in recognizing neuro divergence in the people I work with. Being a bit ADHD myself has made me aware of my own situation and using new tools like eRemarkable tablet coupled with a special ADHD yearly planner helps me navigate my own mental landscape and improve my way of working to understand and be adaptable to different realities. Mostly to remain sane and serene in the face of confusion.

Back from Florida

 Enjoyed 3 days in St. Agustine; our first day was spent on an hour-long bike ride along an old train route converted into a bike trail. The trail was outside the city, moving from the city's outskirts and snaking along trees, wide open spaces beside the highway, houses, and small towns. We reached the city in the afternoon after a six-hour drive from South Carolina.

The second day was spent on the beach in Anastasia State Park, biking along the shoreline escaping the crowds near the entrance, and reaching the deserted stretch where crowds of sea birds walked near the surf I drove my bike through them and watched as the birds flew up in all directions then coming together to flow in format together. After our ride, we returned to the car to get our umbrella to shield us from the sun and go into the cold water for several minutes before returning under the shade. 

Lunch at Harry's with crab and fish over rice and two beers. Then, we walked to the old Hotel Alcazar, which had been converted into a museum. At sundown, we took a cruise out in the ocean, enjoying the city's views from the sea until sundown. The next day was spent first in Ponce Deleon's Fountain of Youth park, enjoying the different shows about the early Spanish colony with cannon shots, arquebus rifles firing, and a giant globe showing the routes of the conquistadors into the Americas. 

Afterward, we visited the fort near the shoreline, watching the exhibits and walking along the walls staring at the sea and the city beyond. We envisioned the history of burning towns and fights with the British coming down from South Carolina. The old Spanish city offered a different narrative of the country's history. Spanish conquistadors were the first Europeans living on the continent rather than the prevailing narrative of Plymouth ships coming from England.

Lunch at Columbia - an excellent Spanish or rather Cuban restaurant where I had pork chops and rice. After lunch, we visited the old Governor's mansion and the Villa Zoraydo - an interesting house built with a Moorish design with intricate carvings and an internal courtyard. The Spanish presence feels like Intramuros in the Philippines. We left the next day having discovered a different perspective on the country's history - more familiar with the Spanish Catholic influence as compared to the existing English - Protestant story.

I worked remotely for the next two days, logging into the network and trying to get work done, re-forecasting and closing the month in the electronic books, replying to emails, meeting with colleagues, and explaining my project. Next week will continue the work on my project, preparing the project report for June, and meeting with the business teams and IS teams to review the report before officially publishing the content. Announcements of leadership changes will mean a different experience in the coming years with new management.

Everything is a Journey

A recent article in NYT talks about the use of the word 'journey' to describe any event or experience in people's lives.  No longer a word that connotes a physical trip, the word now becomes a metaphor for whatever experience or challenge occurring in one's life.  Several journeys or stories are happening in my life at the moment. I say story because the word 'journey' is really about storytelling, to depict one's challenges as a sort of voyage of salvation, redemption, or transformation. The struggle must be difficult otherwise the experience is trivial.

• Journey #1: transfer to a new department, adapt to new people and ways of working, and learn and lead a project in a new area of the company

• Journey #2: leave behind my old team without rancor, anger, revenge-seeking, or bitterness and, instead, be grateful and not disdainful of their success; be big-hearted and proud of their progress;

• Journey #3: to adapt to new tools and techniques like artificial intelligence, building a second brain, Microsoft 365 co-pilot, Google Gemini, and ChatCPT, to be outgoing and more open to people and follow new ways and not succumb to ageism being middle-aged;

• Journey #4: continue to progress in extracurricular activities that will increase my understanding and appreciation of the wider and not just consumed by work: play golf in the company league, participate in Toastmasters, watch Opera and National Theatre;
  
  
• Journey #5: continue to meditate and practice mindfulness, focus on my health by going to the gym, swimming, biking, running in 5k races, and managing my mind not to keep churning thoughts about perceived slights from friends or office politics or envy or focusing of trivial internet surfing and self-debasement plus continuing therapy and self-reflection;

• Journey #6: continue the effort to write a book and use the latest tools to be a writer, attend online lessons in writing and continue lessons on various topics to let me be a better writer have a regular routine, and foster a disciplined writing craft;

This weekend my mind was again churning with too many thoughts about work, friendships, projects, and planned hours improvements all under a cloud of paranoia, dark desires, low self-esteem, and plots and the flights of the ego; of being the center of the world and wanted time due to thoughtless abuse and shameful pleasure.

There is too much thinking, worry, daydreams, external stimuli, and ambition that meditation and mindfulness help me control, and listening to Gregorian chants and church music helps alleviate and soothe the mind. Again the solution is Just Do It following the Nike commercial because one has the experience knowledge and success being in the place that one is in today. However one must have compassion and self-love that one cannot do everything. 

New Project Work

 Last week I had a lot of free time to take courses on project management and watch videos of company meetings and read about events in other departments.  I have learned more about the company in these past few weeks than the 3 decades I have spent in my career. So much has happened on the sidelines that I was aware of in the periphery but now have more understanding. This lull period is normal as I recently moved to my new department where I spent time learning new things and taking online courses until a project has finally been assigned to me.

Since then, I have scheduled several meetings with the business team; project leaders, project owners, and the main business sponsor. I also met with the IT teams; domain and platform managers, squad leads, and some engineers. I have been reading the project documentation and attending some seminars on this new area of the company business. This realm is so much different from the area I have been working on for the past decades of my career. It is a new world for me with a different vocabulary, area of focus, business, and IT resources and it feels like I was hired by an entirely new company. I find myself the rookie in the field.

It is a rare chance for me to have a new lease of life in my career; as if I was handed a second act for me to fulfill. I have learned many new things I am obviously a novice in the arena but my experience and skills in leading projects will sustain me in this endeavor. Oftentimes I am the oldest person in the meeting by my biological age as well as the longest-serving employee as most members are less than 20 years in the company. I guess it is this seniority that I get the respect of the team.

I do feel the years in my situation not succumbing to anxiety or excitement being new but instead jaded and calm with the experience I have gained working in Asia and the different projects I worked on worldwide. I am the old man who still has a bag of tricks in his sleeve perhaps like Joe Biden who is running again despite his advanced age. I do feel the bias that most people have toward the so-called elderly despite having spunk left to get things done. The challenge is reframing once usual reactions to a project not as the bright young genius but as a veteran old hand that ensures respect and courtesy.

This is the advantage that I have in these moments; as a senior; to be calm and calculating and strike at the precise target that my experience and intuition would guide me. My initiative to learn new things like AI and keeping abreast of new technology will also give me an advantage not sinking into a situation of being obsolete and behind the times. I think my new boss is starting to see my value. I have always brushed aside my age; trying to be one of the boys but my colleagues are younger than me and have polite deference if I don't perform the way a younger person would.

This may be the root of my debacle when I was overwhelmed due to my age when it was really poor management with the lack of preparation and support from my previous supervisors. My age has slowed me down, causing me to be confused and out of touch when the issue was really management incompetence; the inability to manage seniors and instead shut them away and replace them with younger people to hide their inefficiency. But that is the way of the world and one has to rely on his wits to survive.

Cyrpto Currency

Last week I used Notebook LM from Google for my project and see if I can get some value from this AI tool. There is a lot of hype about AI in the press as well as in the office as everyone is eager to get on the bandwagon. Notebook LM is a quick and easy way to get started and I was able to demonstrate in our weekly meeting how I intend to use this tool in my work as project manager. There is some promise but not fully realized what I have done. I got a lukewarm response but some interest from my boss as maybe a new path for his department to explore.

I was admonished to use this tool instead of the company tool that is being promoted using Chat GPT. I wrote to the Eurepoen head requesting access and expressed my ideas for using this tool to help in managing projects. He seemed happy and eager to provide me access perhaps to help this initiative to get more headway and attain a game-changing result. Next week will be interesting once I get access and as I load project documents and experiment. I like this type of work to be an innovator and learn something new that is at the cutting edge though I suspect not much from this endeavor with Language Models. The promise seems to be the Microsoft implementation of Chat GPT in their copilot tool available in their Office 360 suite.

I spent most of last week attending courses on Project Management while learning about the details of my project which covers a different part of the company business where revenue is expected to increase. This new area is different from what I am used to and more into pure software as a service instead of the usual manufacture and delivery of a product. So I spent time learning about this business and reading about this new area. Everything is new for me in my new department from the project focus to the use of new tools like AI.

At times I could not help myself in looking at my old team, hoping that disaster would strike now that I am gone and that without my 'brilliance' all will go to hell but in fact, the team is doing well despite some small mishaps. This is a lesson to me that the world does not revolve around my existence, that I am not as brilliant as I think I am though that is also short charigng myself as I do focus and commit my energies and initiative with some imagination and verve. Using the AI tool was a retunr back to form but not in the groundbreaking way that I often exaggerate.

A golfing friend of mine is encouraging me to invest in a private equity firm that invests in real estate and some interesting investments like alt-currency coin mining. This is a new direction for me and I borrowed some materials from the library on cryptocurrency and bitcoin mining. The return on investment is impressive at 28%. I feel that we are truly in a new world with Artificial Intelligence, altcoin mining, and my new job in the software as a service domain.