The Email Attack

I sent out an email proposing to meet the boss man’s managers yesterday morning to discuss their requirements. I received a good note from the boss man right after I sent the mail. It was the first good note after a long while. Unfortunately Philippe came and responded to my mail by drafting a process, which I did not agree with. I had to decline his initiative because it does not conform to our process defined by my company. Meeting the boss man’s managers individually and not via a formal meeting is enough of a concession for them already. I guess I have to expect this type of reaction as I try to exert more independence. But I think Philippe is missing the point of the exercise.

The exercise is actually political in nature. The object of the exercise is to meet the manager’s and learn their needs. In case of any dispute, to raise the issue for arbitration to the boss man. It is a way for the boss man to be in control of the situation and allow the managers to directly express their needs to me but in a controlled manner. They cannot just speak out and say what they want because their feed back will be documented and presented to the boss man. The big guy will be ready to take out his big stick and whack anybody, including me, who falls out of line. But at least it will be a unique opportunity to have the boss man on my side instead of against me in the opposing side.

The main challenge now is to keep Philippe in the loop and try not to ruffle his feathers too much. He is an important part of the equation. He is a great help to us especially to the development team so I have to keep him in my side. Or at least not to push him to the opposing side. There is one manager of the boss man who is always very vocal and critical. This is the person who is the main concern. To have him and Philippe in one side is a danger, which needs to be addressed. This person is known as the noisy manager and he replied immediately to my email stating that he is available anytime for the meeting. It was this positive reaction I believe that prompted the boss man’s note that praised my email.

So the game is afoot. The exchange of emails from the boss man, Philippe, noisy manager and myself is the start of a very subtle political game, which I should have grasped long ago. But it was my emotional reaction to the tirades of the boss man during the past meetings that I missed the point. Now I begin to see the whole picture and it will be a climb back for me to get back into their good graces. I think I am a different person now than in the past years and I am ready to discern the subtleties of the situation. Principally because I now know more about their system, we have a new process of working and I have just completed my basic communication course. I did my 10th speech last night and felt that I have crossed some personal threshold. The speech was entitled ‘Transformation’.

My speech did not win any awards during the speech contest but it did not matter to me. What mattered is the benefit and experience I gained participating in the training course and contest. I think it is the experience that allows me to detect the subtleties within the event because I am now equipped to respond to the situation. It is this awareness plus the possession of the skills to respond to that new awareness. Lurking behind all these events is my former boss who is just waiting in the wings to grab the business away from me. He is a supreme opportunist and he may be orchestrating things behind my back. He may be the hidden actor in the game.

False Alarm

The meeting with the customer went well early yesterday morning. There were moments where we had a few misunderstanding with the boss man but I was able to recover in time. The boss man was even trying to help and all his staff were in awe of him. But he handled the meeting very well and he guided us to a good conclusion. Still a lot of work to be done by his staff but he did it in a gentle way. After they finish their requirements, the ball goes over to my court and I have to prepare the team who will work on this project. The head of the team is a bit difficult to work with and her key staff will be leaving soon. So it will be another challenge for them to keep it on track. Some initial dates where set and hope to meet them. Look likes the game is now afoot.

I will be sending out an email on the individual meetings we would have to the boss man’s managers. It is a formal announcement that we will be actively striving to improve our communication. There seems to be a breakdown and I seem to hold the key to its solution simply by talking to them. If ever I get into a conflict with the managers then I bring the case up for arbitration with the boss man. So things seem to be turning our way again despite the nasty meetings in the past month. I have to carry the ball more often instead of letting Philippe do the work. I think I now have a clear idea of my role in the scheme of things. I should let him be the functional expert while I am the manager or coordinator.

The boss man mentioned in the meeting that we all learn from our mistakes and it was a good sign for us to make mistakes especially for my case where the first phase did not turn out well so it was stopped. I think I am getting to understand more the way to work with him. It just means following his whims, which admittedly are more sensible than most managers do. It is just the conflict with some of his staff and the politics of certain people that have confused me in the past. So now the game has been raised to a different level and I hope to be prepared.

I have a speech contest tonight and it’s actually my last project before I earn a certificate on communication. We will also have a meeting with our management on the end of this month. It will be about the retrenchment going on and I think this will be the first time we will get an indication of the fate of our department. I do not think we will be affected based on the feedback I get from people. The supposed job offer that I thought the boss man was making was actually a false alarm. It is the creation of a new position that needs to be approved by the gods at headquarters first before anything can be done. We will find out soon enough.

Monday Stress

I had another nasty meeting with the boss man yesterday. But I had a chance to stay calm and explain my self. It feels like we have entered another difficult level in the game. A more difficult and challenging level where I need to keep him in the loop with regards to communicating with his managers. In the past few years, the boss man has been generous with me despite his frequent outburst. But it is a part of his nature and he does show some consideration to the people he likes. It is just now in the recent months that the attitude has changed due to the circumstances in our company. It is also due to the politics that is occurring behind my back. I think it is something being done is at a subtle level.


I did not sleep well last night due to the heat and my troubles at the office. I increased the fan and had a chance to get a few sessions of sleep. With the recent layoffs and the troubles with the boss man, I have come face to face with the prospect of losing my job. It is a stark reality especially at my age. I have experienced company closures in the past. But I survived by moving on to the company that bought the old one or moving to another subsidiary. Now the situation is different with the prospect of leaving this company, which I worked on for 10 years or this industry, which I was in for about 15 years. The stakes have changed and I am faced with confronting this situation which requires attention and spirit.


It is nothing to get panicky about but to move forward coldly in a manner that is different from my nature. But I will go down fighting and hope with a good severance package if worst comes to worst. I think I would still need to express my desire to work for the boss man despite his nature because it will offer hopefully some job stability in this country instead of moving to the other countries like Thailand and China. I think it will be good especially with the kids finishing secondary school and moving on to junior college and hopefully college.


Yesterday I had al sorts of stress such as missing training sessions, access to certain applications don’t work so I had to call the help desks, things not working so it felt hectic. But strangely my mind is in the grip of things like those doctors in the television show ER jumping from one medical problem to another. But they are able to keep their composure during the day and focus their attention on the tasks at hand. It is their grasp of the technical and medical problems plus their ability to interact with each other during stressful situations perhaps closely resemble my work. In this situation my patients are the malfunctioning computer applications and the people I work with are the boss man and the others in the company. What are missing are perhaps the romances at work and other fun stuff.