Being Overwhelmed

Today was a good day because I was able to do a lot of things, mainly because there were few people in the office, being the eve of the Thanksgiving holiday so less distractions in my work. I had a chance to respond to my emails, update problem tickets, follow-up on issues and coordinate activities on the projects I am working on. The quiet time also allowed me to plan and focus on the impending project milestones. It is 2 weeks away from going live on a project I am leading, not a big one but important for me as gives me credibility and a chance to improve my prospects. But I wonder if I am not too late as I have been busy supporting an application which was impacted by another major project going live in Reno. There were some hiccups but not tragic and we were able to recover. Hopefully, it will be better next week though one doubts because Monday will be the heaviest load of the week. Supporting this application especially during network or server problems has given me the biggest stress as well as destroy the strides I have been making with my other projects. I am thrown off balance.

The coming 2 days will be non-working days because of Thanksgiving but I plan to work at home to get things moving. The support team in Europe is working this week as Europe does not celebrate Thanksgiving so I need to correspond with the team if needed. I hope to do some work as well so I am not pressured and stressed out next week when there are more people in the office and when support issues arise. I finally used visual thinking this afternoon – mind mapping – to sort out my thoughts and clear my brain. I should have done it earlier but too much work and stress prevented me from doing this task. Mind mapping has always helped me by clearing my mind (like journal writing) but I am often lazy. I started by drawing the map by hand and realized that it was no longer enough, the plain paper could not hold all the associations and the coming revisions so I shifted to the computer application XMind. Finally, there is some ‘space’ between the tasks and the thinking process that allows me to be more relaxed and analytical. I should have done this much earlier.

The coming weeks will be hectic so I need to plan more and use visual thinking tools often. I will play golf in the coming 2 days to relieve some pressure in another way – by allowing the mind to focus on play while being competitive. I spent some time today trawling the internet and checked out a golf tool called Swingbyte which looks promising for self-taught golfers like me. I plan to buy this tool as well as a 32 inch HDTV, a camera for the TV to allow SKYPE calls and a bike rack which would all cost me about USD $ 550 thinking that I could get some Black Friday deals. But I am hoping to control my spending urges if I am going on vacation in California this December. I think the trip is important for my family, especially my kids so they can connect with their cousins and establish roots here. It is also important for my mental well-being because I have not had a decent vacation since April. The house move and the pressures at work had made me feel overwhelmed but somehow I managed to muck along but not efficiently in some of my tasks. The end of the year is in sight and I am struggling to keep up and make sure I meet my objectives for the year.

Mental Whirlwind

A couple of projects are waiting for takeoff, almost simultaneously in the runway, looking for the resources who will kick start the mission forward, oftentimes the same pilot driving many planes at the same time. For example, preparation for deployment in Canada, with a new system that needs to interface with my program, a different set of challenges, especially in testing; a significant milestone where all eyes is looking. At the same time, another project involving the biggest retailer in the world, another sensitive assignment with all judges focused on the team, raising blood pressure and stress levels. Unfortunately, I find myself at the center of the game, moving forward to prevent stasis, pushing issues to other parties to resolve, always in motion, feeling like a juggler with too many balls in the air, walking a tightrope like a fool, willing to risk a mistake without a safety net, strangely hoping that management will step in and save you from your recklessness.  The weather is not cooperating too, winter cold and rain making the mood dreary, feeling sick but still one pushes forward perhaps waiting for a collapse to end it all.

So one mind maps the situation, hoping to get clarity from visual tools, releasing the mind from confusion via drawings that make sense to the turmoil of thoughts, achieving some sort of clearness, realizing that it’s all about appearances, of playing a role and hiding a frantic mind, thinking that all will turn out well in the long run. The projects are a step up for me, meeting a new set of people and challenges, like a bar has been raised, working at a different level with people with a higher skill level than one usually works with, like being in the big leagues. It is a test - one thinks, a test of endurance and skill, a test of preparedness, a test to see if one can work in the big leagues, and one rushes along like ‘Sea Biscuit’ the legendary horse who sprints right out the gate, spectators wondering if he has the legs for the long run, still rushing forward, muscles rippling and hearts nearly bursting, running like it was a sprint, but the race really a marathon. Can one survive the grueling pace, is this an intentional tryout, to learn the limits of one’s endurance, one’s breaking point?

Fortunately, one thinks he is smart, an experienced multi-tasker, willing to juggle tasks with the aid of mind mapping  and the relevant experience to handle the tension; grace under pressure, exercise, tai chi and meditation via journaling, perhaps the key to keeping one’s sanity. Rudyard Kipling’s poem - an inspiration, to keep one’s head when all others are losing theirs, going home tired, perhaps slightly fatigue, drinking Red Bull or other such energy drinks, watching ‘The West Wing’  to understand the working of the White House and a team of extremely talented and passionate people, similar but to a lesser degree like the project team. Is this enough to survive, to be successful at work with conflicting or even overwhelming challenges, it’s all in the mind, working with other people to get the work done. Yesterday, one finds out that the powers that be disapproved a project member’s travel to Canada, the feeling of indignation sweeping over one, wondering if cost savings is really the reason, the team being broken into two, wondering if a different model of deployment can be used, using an outsourced company, but one soldiers along, accepting the new rules of the game.

Talking Too Much – Part II

Another important aspect here is the clarity of one’s thinking. This is the hidden skill behind effective communication and successful public speaking. Hence one’s thinking skills needs to be sharpened first before speaking and this is the distinguishing mark. Last night, I read different articles on visual thinking which help one clarify his thoughts to generally improve the thinking process. So I guess there is a possible chain to success in this regard:

visual thinking -> clear thoughts -> effective communication -> successful public speaking.

I think the challenge today is that the world is too complex and nuanced that one need thinking aids such as visual tools like mind mapping to clarify thoughts to survive and communicate effectively. I think this is a pattern that has existed in the ages especially as one sees the cave drawings of primitive man. But the complexity of modern life needs more advanced visual tools than just simple drawings. Hence the success of mind mapping and other visual tools like flow charting to make sense of the world.


The conclusion then is to use visual tools to improve one’s thinking in order to communicate effectively. Once achieved one can only move up to the next step which is public speaking. It’s a subtle distinction because it changes that way one usually thinks. Hopefully mental noise is reduced and a clear focus and clarity is achieved as reflected in speaking or communicating. Clarity of thought results also in a good temperament which helps being effective. For instance, people write that Obama has a first class mind with a first class temperament. Similarly, FDR has a second rate mind with a first class temperament. But both persons where significantly successful leaders; though too early to tell yet of Obama. So perhaps clarity of mind contributes to a good temperament wherein intelligence does not significantly matter.


In my case, I think I have too much intelligence with less clarity of mind. This gives me a poor temperament in handling challenges. Perhaps I can be said to possess a second rate mind with a second rate temperament. Hence, following FDR one only needs to improve one’s temperament to be successful. Maybe the key here is to improve ones temperament by improving the clarity of one’s thoughts. In modern times, the effective tool to achieve this is visual thinking aids like mind-mapping and to be able to communicate effectively. Thinking is more an ‘internal’ skill while communicating is more an ‘external’ skill wherein both should be working at a high level to achieve a first class temperament.

Looking at it another way, talking too much gives the impression that one does not think. One is a blabber mouth. The common phrase is that still waters run deep – or the quiet person is a reflective person. So I guess that makes sense. So I guess I should reflect more before I speak by trying to analyze the implications and trying to put the impact of my words against what I want to achieve. Perhaps to put more strategy with regards to what I want to say and the impact of these words on the intended receiver. That is another thought but quite different for informal conversation. But maybe I talk too much because I think too much. In this scenario, the remedy is clarity of thought to convert verbiage to sensible phrases. Again visual thinking tools is the key to achieving clarity of thought but applied in a more reflective and strategic manner.

Talking Too Much – Part I

I realized since coming here that I blabber and talk too much. Perhaps this was an asset in Asia where speaking English is considered a good skill. But in the US this is not a good asset because everyone speaks English here (although Spanish is catching up). I had a similar feeling when I worked for 4 months in India. So speaking a lot does no have any value here as compared to other countries where English is not the main spoken language. So in this environment, speaking too much may need to be converted to speaking less. But this would not do because one will not have a chance to be known as everyone is encouraged to speak up and express his opinions.


So the next best thing is to be precise and speak honestly with integrity. Hence more thought should be taken before opening one’s mouth. Maybe a good analogy is that of a machine gun spewing out bullets all over the place as compared to one using a sniper’s rifle, picking out the appropriate targets with less effort or bullets. Nevertheless if one does proceed with a machine gun, it should be of a high quality than the usual run of the mill type. There are a lot of magnetic preachers and speakers around here that one has to be really good to rise up from the babbling speakers. Watching MSNBC or Fox Television is a good case in point where every man and his dog are just spewing out verbiage with out any precision or careful thought.


Making a good distinction in this regard are people like Abraham Lincoln and his present day protégé, Barack Obama. Both are master speakers but they are not the machine-gun type talkers who spew out elegant phrases for the consumption or entertainment of the masses. Of course they both have excellent speaking skills but what distinguishes them is the quality of their words and the careful thought process behind that which turn listeners from just being entertained to being enlightened and driven to action. I think their effectiveness are not only the well-crafted phrase but the sincerity and integrity and sensibleness or subtleness of their comments. This ability has allowed them to succeed in winning elections against great speakers who also possess incredible speaking skills.


The lesson here is that speaking English well is not enough to succeed. Careful and considered thought have to be behind the words. For example, joining Toastmaster here in the US is a different experience than joining Toastmasters in Asia. The main goal is not only to conquer the fear of public speaking but also to speak at a higher level than previously possible in a country that does not have English as the main language. One can argue that Spanish is also a well known language here but the goal here is effective communication rather than just public speaking. In other words, public speaking does not equate to being articulate. Being articulate should become second nature, like an instinctive reflex for one to be successful.

New Year Resolutions

Reading the recent blog postings on mind mapping, I see there's a convergence of some trends or syncronicity of thinking between mapping adherents. Using my experience for example, mind mapping is used in conjunction with stuctured productivity methods like Getting Things Done (GTD). Looks like an attempt to structure visual thinking into a more ordered methodology. Sometime I only use mind maps to clarify my thinking and brainstorm new ideas. But I would like to use it more but I cannot seem to find a consistent routine. So structured methdologies like GTD and project management are added into a visual thinking process like mind mapping to strengthen it's use.

My consistent method to clarify thinking is actually blogging. It's simple and effective although not enough when faced with more complex ideas wherein mind mapping is the best tool. Now visual thinking is also enhanced or combined with concepts like 'sense making' to broaden it's appeal. It just shows how universal visual thinking is getting to be especially in today's world where on is unudated with information and ideas. I think this is the same conclusion reached by most mind mappers as one looks into blogsphere. So a convergense is seen in the following situation: mind mapping -> visual thinking -> sense making -> project mangement -> Getting things Done (GTD) -> information overload.

This convergence have resulted in new tools that expand the main concept. Tools like Personal Brain -> eProductivity with Lotus Notes Templates -> Compedium, etc. So I think we are on the verge of a significant development where a new interface will soon be developed that will stretch the way we think and allow us to handle the new demands at work and life. Maybe it will also accommodate tools like blogging and mind mapping and Personal Brain that will allow us to see the world in a better and holistic way. Maybe something like blogger.com with mind mapping, calender, To Do List and document management. Perhaps that is something that I am trying to do with my blog where I write down my thoughts, post pictures, sometimes post my mind maps, books read and so on.

Maybe this is the future of user interfaces for computers. A way that is like MySpace but something more wherein the users could express themselves and have a tool that will help them make sense of the world. For instance, Enterprise Project Management tools like Clarity is very helpful although it took some time for me to get used to it's ideas and concepts. Now I see it as a very comprehensive tool to help you manage your projects. I have not yet reached this level as I am still confused on budget, tasks and time sheets. As I have mentioned it takes time for me to wrap my mind into new ideas. My mind always bubbles with thoughts and fears and blogging is a way for me to settle down by writing and constructing rational sentences.

Since it's the new year where one usually gets into setting resolutions, I list down some of my more important ones: practice yoga every weekend, attend sport lessons, play my guitar, learn more about supply chain and logistics, and project management and EPM tools like Clarity. These goals I hope to achieve as well as my other goals like preparing for the move, borrowing more audio books and watching movies. My major goal will still be to complete my book where I have had a chance to read more about the craft of writing. I think I am better prepared now than ever before. I wonder if I should try to learn something new this year although I am constrained by my budget.

Idea maps as visual blogs

I just started thinking why idea maps seem effective. Usually blogs or journals are the easiest way of expressing our inner thoughts and feelings. Perhaps because the spoken and written word is the way we are taught to express ourselves so it comes easily to us.

Now visual thinking introduces a different way of expression. We can express ourselves and our inner thoughts visually. Mind mapping provide simple rules to follow (to prevent us from descending towards incomprehensible doodles). Are we headed towards a way of visual communication where all we do is send idea maps to communicate? No more verbal or written e-mails but mind maps.

Sometimes the same feeling of relief is felt when we finish a blog or journal entry as when we finish a mind map. It's as if some pressure or stress has been released with the act of writing or visual mapping. The psychological result is the same: serenity (due perhaps to clarifying thoughts or experiences and expressing ourselves). So which method is better? Do we communicate more effectively in a visual manner?

I wonder if the princess can focus and express herself better if she practices visual thinking. She again wrote an email pointing faults and grandstanding. I sometimes feel she like to read her mails in the same way that some people like to hear their own voice. But I am being unkind. She is just getting emotional but she has a way of zeroing out into off tangent subjects that never fails to provoke me so I end up being emotional as well. So I have to stick to the high ground and focus on the issues.

I attach a map on improving relationships at work. One key skill in this area is negotiation and persuasion. I need to move away from being reactive and emotional and focus more on the issues at hand.

Full blown budget fight

The budget issue has now reached terrible proportions. No one is backing down. A silly issue really because it does not affect the boss man's company. More a governance issue in our department. It looks more like an issue caused by the transition to our new time sheet program. No one seems to budge despite the seeming triviality. But one thing is clear, work cannot stop with the boss man's company due to this accounting issue. It's just not possible to stop work maintaining his system without dire consequence to their business.

I spoke to Roger about this problem as he is the boss man's accounting head. He told me not to fight this battle. It's not my concern. But I cannot just lie down and let this go. At the end of the day, I will have to tell my people to stop work if worst comes to worst. Roger advised not to go to the boss man and tell him this problem. Using his words, we will just get slaughtered like the Spartans in the movie '300'. But this will reach him eventually and need to find out how we can frame the discussion. He suggested that my managers address the issue to him.

We never had this problem in the past years. It's only recently with this new system and processes being put in place. It's actually the French accountant's problem and he should speak to the boss man about it and solve this issue. Every one is in on the discussion: sp, my new boss, the overall customer manager. But no one really cares. They prefer to focus on the other countries perhaps because they have a chance to travel. Meanwhile, no one cares for the operations right here in our back yard. Except me as I am directly involved. Life is not fair but I guess this is the challenge.

So I plan to write a good strong memo this morning and explain the situation clearly. We will be meeting with the boss man next Monday and I cannot let this information slip by him because my ass will be on the line. I have to ask FA to come with me and own this issue and have it resolved. Otherwise, we bring it on the table and face the boss man and the corresponding consequences. The boss man has no choice but to request a bigger budget to the big cheese at head office. It is important that the timing is right and the right time at the latest is next week before his business trip.

I attach a map I made about a book called mind mapping in 1 week. It helped me understand the concept and apply it to my life and work.