God Send

I tried to replace the side view mirror of my old Saturn Ion, destroyed after backing up from the garage and hitting the garbage receptacle, ordered the part online but received a different model. So I called the help desk and got a new part mailed to me though I need to send back the previous one, having to pay shipping cost because it was my mistake. It would have caused me about USD 100 if I had it repaired at an outside work shop, but instead found a YouTube video on how to change the mirror and ordering it online. I had high hopes on Saturday afternoon when I was ready to change the part; I bought a socket wrench at home depot and some kitchen utilities, coming back home excited to replace the mirror but finding out that the screws didn’t align to the proper places. It was deflating but in a way it efficient to call the help center and have everything sorted out, an amazing thing to do, realizing that the staff maybe half way around the world, likely in my own home country, going over a script on how to assist customers in another country , working with their computer systems to address problems thousands of miles away.

It was a good weekend coming into Friday evening with the news that my relative’s hospital bills, at least the major ones involving his operation and hospital stay, has been paid by the state medical insurance, like a gift from heaven. It was a God send and praise the Lord because there is someone up there helping and that our prayers have been answered, difficult to believe that such a thing is possible, giving one hope that everything will finally be settled. So there was a good mood all through the weekend, though my wife was not feeling well and could not attend the lunch scheduled on Sunday. The occasion was for a visit by a colleague from the home country, here for several months of training, coming together with friends with an excellent lunch of stuffed crabs, spicy glass noodles with Shrimp, barbecue pork and shrimps, steamed fish in soy sauce, rice and ice cream, apple crisp and tiramisu. We drank Chianti wine and lemon juice together with the lunch, and the obligatory picture taking. There was good conversation but eventually we seemed to have run out of topics, although there was laughter and jokes, it seemed strained and thought that the other guests were bored.

We played golf, nine holes after lunch, finishing at 5:30 pm, enjoying the weather after the cold spell last week, enjoying the sunshine outdoors. I had started the day vacuuming the house, removing  the dust and dirt after several weeks of installing curtains, drilling holes in the wall, afterwards cooking breakfast and preparing the desert cooked last night, thinking that I would be exhausted at the end of the day after playing  golf. But I was not tired coming home, invigorated somehow and watching 2 episodes of ‘Downton Abbey’, afterwards rushing through the magazines that I needed to return to the library tomorrow, missing the show ‘Sherlock Holmes’ but ready for bed by 11 pm. I had trouble sleeping, drifting in and out of sleep throughout the night, rising from bed near 6 am and going to the gym to swim. I felt good after the weekend, starting with the Friday news and the phone conference with my siblings, working on the house and paying my bills on Sunday morning before the lunch occasion and the game of golf. It was liberating because I had a chance to enjoy and have fun with friends though sad that my wife missed the event, but glad that I did not need to prepare and organize this occasion and ready to have others take care of the work, receding in the background and let others take charge.

All is Lost

The new Robert Redford movie has a good title, apt since it is descriptive of the disarray in congress, with threats of another shut down, stopping government appointees from doing their job, with Middle East issues grabbing attention again, with the executive branch seemingly paralyzed by these external forces; much like the Redford hero battling the elements, alone in the vast ocean. Sometimes I feel the same thing, helping my friend make sense of the byzantine ways of government bureaucracy, trying to make sense of senseless paper work, with many forms to fill, undertake phone interviews and so on. I am fearful because it’s like fighting a giant machine that is supposed to help people in need, the helpless in society, but instead, shackled by a minority who believe their ultra – conservative ideology is the answer when really compassion for the sick and needy is all. The greatest nation on earth had begun by welcoming the poor and wretched of the earth and now whose modern descendants, wealthy and powerful, are clinging to their money and closing borders.

But I am being emotional, my nerves fraught with visions of catastrophe, fearing the worst when really it is not bad; man’s better angels always rising to help their fellows. Nevertheless, the atmosphere is tainted with fear and hatred, one’s only recourse is to escape in self-degrading abuse, looking for ways to get lost in distraction and fantasy. When did it all go wrong? Based on Stephen King’s book on the Kennedy assassination, it all started in Dallas with JFK’s death; looking at all these JFK programs in television it seems to make sense; but one wonders whether the killing of the American president started the road toward ruin. King has come out in concluding that it would be worse if JFK had survived because circumstances would play out with the failure of the civil rights act (which JFK’s death had mobilized), the atomic bombing of Vietnam and proliferation of nuclear weapons. But this is speculative history, and one cannot base his philosophy on fiction despite its inventive brilliance and impeccable research. So to improve my spirits, I went to a flea market in Highway 101, purchased 2 large ceramic vases for US $ 20 dollars, and watched several movies - the best of which was ‘Sherlock Holmes 2’ and ‘The Madness of King George.’

The mind has visions of doom but it is just the work of the overactive imagination. What will happen? The earth will continue to circle the sun and life will proceed as before, our children will grow up, discover life and find their place in the world, discover themselves and have families and children; we will be but a memory; our struggles today lost in the span of time. But it will all turn out well; thinking all is lost or the center will not hold is temporary lunacy, similar to the madness of King George with the loss of the colonies unnerving his sanity. But he gets well and continues with life. The secret is not to lose one’s nerve despite the many challenges at work, at home and in all of life. The children will survive and live good lives, the sun rises and the sun sets on everyone with equality. Yesterday, I read books in the patio, sitting outside and watching the trees turn into their fall colors, driving to Conestee park, riding the bike in the asphalt road and back down  the nature trail. It took about an hour to prepare the bike for transport and riding the trails but I thought it was important to get outside and away from one’s thoughts, enjoy nature and heal the mind.

Extreme Productivity 2

I now realize that I have been offered a unique opportunity. Previously, I cursed the situation I find myself in, much more busy than in the past, but proud to conserve one’s free time for reading books and watching movies. In my new job, I see that this predilection for recreation or escape is no longer possible; therefore I can either slide by, winging it, or hunkering down and doing a swell job. This means working more than 8 hours, striving to be the best and doing whatever it takes, maybe even working on weekends. This seems to be the case as the normal hours no longer suite me and the work that needs to be done. A change occurred at midnight, where the rules of the game suddenly changed and no longer fits whatever education or tricks one has learned in the past. I saw that when I watched that TED video where the speaker emphasized on the changed world.

It is like that character in Murakami’s book ‘1Q84’, who wakes up one day and sees a familiar world, but with slight changes that make her realize that there has been a subtle shift, like having two moons in the evening sky. I guess that has happened to me when this new job was offered to me, thinking that I can just do what I do but with more efficiency, then realizing very quickly that the old ways no longer suffice. My reaction was perhaps trivial; going to the gym in the morning, requesting for a stand-up desk, using the white board for a to do list but quickly realizing that these improvements are cosmetic. In the book ‘Extreme Productivity’, the author said that one must sleep a full eight hours every day to be refreshed, so that would mean that I should be in bed by 10 pm so I can wake and be at the gym by 6:30 am. Often times I persist on my schedule, watching movies or reading books up until 11pm or 12 midnight; coming to work slightly dazed which the standing position at work does not help.

But working standing up has its benefits, it keeps me alert and focused, but more effort is expended, which makes me tired when I get home. Therefore, the change should be deeper and serious, go to bed early, and work more than eight hours including weekends if needed. I guess I have also grown tired of watching too many movies, it only causes the mind to keep moving; one should no longer strive for the ‘super mind’ as one would say ala Sherlock Holmes. The time for silly things is now over as Obama would say to the ideologues in congress and I guess that means me, too. But I have been handed this opportunity and there is no other option but to excel. Clearly, working in the office is not enough with the allotted time, especially with all the incoming work; the volume has increased and requires superhuman effort to be on top of it all or at least until one gets used to it. There are just too many things to do like one has crossed over into a new world where the rules have changed one midnight.

Will there ever be time for me to write? I guess the solution must be systemic; to apply all those tricks in the book ‘Extreme Productivity’ and being aware of the time, there is really no more occasion for childish things, perhaps to allot just an hour each day at home after dinner to do some work and perhaps another 2 – 3 hours during the weekend. There should be clear tasks to do like updating the enterprise PM program, replying to emails and doing whatever still needs to be done like updating the incident ticketing system. The easiest thing to do is to stop watching movies, lessen the borrowing of DVDs and just reserve that for the weekend. I still have not used my electronic gadgets like my tablet for my to do list, but it should be something that I can do easily. The maid obstacle is still the mind which keeps jumping up and down, distracted by whatever it see around. But one still needs to be bold, to throw caution to the wind and initiate the work to get things done; therefore discipline, courage and hard work; that age old triumvirate still rings true.

Mastermind

.I just finished an interesting book that uses a fictional character, albeit a world famous one, in getting the subject across - the technique of scientific thinking. Sherlock Holmes, the legendary fictional detective is used as a guide to develop a ‘mastermind’, in a non-fictional work loaded with interesting insight from a Harvard trained psychologist. Her prose is interesting at times but clinical and dense most of the time, possibly because her work started as a PhD thesis and evolved into a book. The author cites several writers whose work I admire like Daniel Pink, Steven Pinker and Daniel Kahneman- the Nobel Prize winning economist. Her work follows the trendy oeuvre of writers like Malcolm Gladwell, Nassim Taleb and the writers of ‘Freakonomics’, intelligent books that dispel common truths and deliver counter-intuitive conclusions, opening a new world with the vision of new eyes, after revealing the ‘real truth’ behind the everyday façade. These works attempt to explain or popularize new theories in economics, cognitive research, psychology, statistics and social science in a hip and modern style with a conscious attempt to avoid academic taint; oftentimes upending the prevailing wisdom

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Sherlock Holmes in my mind, typified the rigor of disciplined thinking, of pure logic, like Mr. Spock the Vulcan in Star Trek, transplanted in Victorian England to solve mysterious crimes. But the author goes farther than that, focusing on the idea of attention and stillness, more Eastern in theory than Western, but effective nevertheless. One of her statement is ‘the most powerful mind is a silent mind,’ a sentence that would not be misplaced in a Buddhist sutra or a Zen manuscript, which makes her writing all the more appealing, a mix of the standard Aristotelian logic and the mindfulness teachings of Buddhism. She points out that mindfulness and focus is the key, at the same time encouraging the mind to wander; to increase its stock of knowledge, a contradiction that would exist in any ‘koan’ or Buddhist aphorisms. Hence, Sherlock Holmes is revealed to be a modern version of a ‘mastermind’ that combines the scientific discipline of clear logical thinking and the mindfulness achieved through meditation and focus; recognizable to Eastern mystics or later day practitioners like Eckhart Tolle and Werner Erhard.

Perhaps it is her Russian background, where the east and west comingle, the influence of Europe and the renaissance coupled with the mysticism of Central Asia, where the blood of the Khans and the Moguls mixed with the Caucasian hue of Christian orthodoxy (like a journey to Harvard via Moscow). The concept of a ‘mastermind’ is an interesting idea that can be used for every day problem solving, at work or at any task, in correcting one’s thinking or removing cognitive bias; by improving meditation and mindfulness, thereby increasing productivity and reducing stress – ingredients of a readymade bestseller in the best tradition of DIY. What is the lesson for aspiring writers? I guess it is to create focus when writing, to use creativity and the imagination when creating stories and having the discipline to work (or to write regularly). The sections of her book offer a road toward developing a ‘mastermind’:

1.    Understand Yourself
2.    From Observation to Imagination
3.    Art of Deduction
4.    Science and Art of Self-Knowledge

As one can see in the outline, one does not normally associate these topics to solving crimes or scientific or logical thinking but to self-help works of improving one’s cognition as in psychological therapy. Nevertheless, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable, original and enriching book.

During the weekend, as I rushed to finish reading the book, we watched a marathon 10 hours of Downton Abbey’s Season 3, a wonderful glimpse of English lords and their estates during and after the first world war, just about the time Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and his fictional detective at their peak. Downton Abbey is arguably one of the greatest series ever created, the portrayal of the English upper class is magnificent; not only the story of a certain family but the epitome of refinement and panache of a race of man, when the British Empire ruled the world with their application of clear logical thinking and their appreciation of Shakespeare with his keen understanding of politics and the ruling class (i.e. a glimpse inside their brain attic). To complete the circle, I also watched the classic Laurence Olivier’s film ‘Richard III’ and the Broadway play ‘Hamlet’ directed by John Gielgud and starring Richard Burton, possibly the best Hamlet ever. To balance the whole picture, I am listening to Salman Rushdie’s ‘Midnight’s Children’ about India during the time of independence from England, an enjoyable book that should rank as a modern classic – a template for aspiring writers on the subject of national identity.

How You Lose

I finished listening to Junot Diaz’s latest novel ‘This is How You Lose Her’ last weekend. While listening to the book, I browsed the latest swimsuit edition of Sport Illustrated magazine. A fitting combination considering all the sex and twisted relationships explored in Diaz’s book. This is a good example of making use of one’s vices or weakness in the creation of a creative work. It was like Diaz let it all hang out, allowing himself to acknowledge his peccadillos while struggling to be an artist. Hence, his excesses did not hinder his creative output, instead wallowing in the excess of his sexual energy to spill out into his novel. I may be mistaken into thinking that the hero in his book is Diaz himself, a mistake that Orhan Pamuk pointed out in his essay on writing, but one is sure that the raw episodes of sexuality is one which the author is intimately familiar. His slam bang approach with all the swear words and sensual stories is raw, earthy and authentic;  capturing the voice of the South American immigrant experience, portraying the Latin migrant story with authentic Spanish words one is familiar, with voices from Columbia, Puerto Rican and Dominican Republic where Diaz hails from.

I am also reading Graham Greene’s book about Omar Torrijos and Panama in ‘Meeting the General’ which is a more elegant accounting of the South American experience, especially in the relationship to the United States during the canal treaty negotiations. The contrast is interesting: the elegant memories of the esteemed English writer and the brash upstart Latin immigrant, both dealing with the American experience, one experiencing imperialism and the interventions in Latin America while one living in New York (New Jersey, Brooklyn or the Bronx?) and Boston while trying to maintain his identity in the melting pot of the United States. Earlier I read Ha Jin and the Chinese immigrant experience, particular the inflow of Chinese citizens after the Tienanmen Square massacre. These stories are all about travel, displacement, political intrigue with America somehow involved in the mix: as a refuge for political refugees or those seeking a new life or as the instigator of imperial will on the backyard of their Southern Hemisphere.

Both Ha Jin and Junot Diaz stories reflect life of the writer as a young man, as they strive to achieve their artistic goal while living as an immigrant in the new world. An interesting contrasts again: Latin American machismo and the Chinese literati scholar, compared to the old writer Greene, a former spy who travelled the globe, a weary nomad and raconteur expanding his stories with elegant erudition.  Another mature raconteur is Dot Jackson who wrote only one book that sealed her reputation, hashing out a work with difficulty, keeping her book hidden for many years under her bed, or kept by a friend in a refrigerator, finally convincing an editor to print her book. Jackson is one of those legendary Southern writers, writing about life in the Appalachian hills, striving to maintain a living and pouring all in one book unlike the prodigy of Ha Jin and Junot Diaz who seem to churn out books without the care of subtle prose or without anguish and self-doubt that plague writers like Jackson who struggled for years before her book was published and recognized. 

I wonder myself about my path: thinking of attending another expensive writing course  while joining literary events, filling time reading and watching movies, like last weekend. I realize that BEING a writer requires drastic change in priorities and focus. But change is coming nonetheless; moving to a new role at work that requires more interaction and attention, plus another larger role in Toastmaster as area governor (to be confirmed soon) and in the analyst network in the office; new challenges coming as if by fate. The coming changes are inevitable, something that one can do with a simple request unlike BEING a writer which require conscious attention against self-doubt. I read some excerpts of a new book about Sherlock Holmes who has contradictory ability to focus and to allow his mind to wander to explore new knowledge. So I realized my strengths: my ability to accept input and learn that it’s my nature to accept input like drinking from a water hose, not as a way to be ‘someone’ as an accumulator of knowledge and experience. Hence, it is more a tempering of one’s nature, changing perception that one is ‘flighty’ but instead, in need for discipline to focus, just like Sherlock Holmes.